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I think it is pretty safe for a man to socialize with men and women at work, but you have to recognize signals that a person doesn't want to talk to you and fin

I think it is pretty safe for a man to socialize with men and women at work, but you have to recognize signals that a person doesn't want to talk to you and find a gracious way to deal with that. If an adult is unable to recognize those basic signals, what training options are available to get up-to-speed?

grahamburger 11y ago
I think that every person that I regularly interact with socially I have both offended and been offended by in some way. I suspect that that's just part of normal human interaction. But it seems like any offense from a man to a woman can be considered sexual harassment, which I would say makes those interactions dangerous. Also note that I wouldn't blame women for this issue. It's really the fault of (mostly) men who are aggressively and shamelessly harassing women and putting everyone on edge.
- GFK_of_xmaspast 11y ago
  > But it seems like any offense from a man to a woman can be considered sexual harassment Have you considered that this is not in fact the case.
bsder 11y ago
> I think it is pretty safe for a man to socialize with men and women at work, but you have to recognize signals that a person doesn't want to talk to you and find a gracious way to deal with that. Really? Recognize the signals in the single most ambiguous pursuit in human nature? Unless you're Brad Pitt, some women will find advances unwanted. Others will welcome them. One cannot differentiate that until after having made the, possibly unwanted, advance.
- bittercynic 11y ago
  Is socializing the same as making advances for you? I agree, making advances is risky, and you probably shouldn't do it at work, or at the workplace of the person you're making advances towards.
  - bsder 11y ago
    > and you probably shouldn't do it at work Why not? You spend 1/3+ of your life at work. You are more likely to meet a wider selection of people at work than you are through even your weak social network if you work for a company of any reasonable size. There aren't hard and fast rules when social interactions come into play. Social interactions are, by nature, ambiguous and have lots of societal context. Yes, there are bright lines which are obviously criminal, but, below that, it gets very murky, very quickly.
  - nucleardog 11y ago
    An advance doesn't have to be sexual or flirtatious in nature. It could be as simple as striking up a conversation with someone you've never talked to before or inviting someone out to a group activity.

grahamburger 11y ago

I think that every person that I regularly interact with socially I have both offended and been offended by in some way. I suspect that that's just part of normal human interaction. But it seems like any offense from a man to a woman can be considered sexual harassment, which I would say makes those interactions dangerous. Also note that I wouldn't blame women for this issue. It's really the fault of (mostly) men who are aggressively and shamelessly harassing women and putting everyone on edge.

GFK_of_xmaspast 11y ago
> But it seems like any offense from a man to a woman can be considered sexual harassment Have you considered that this is not in fact the case.

bsder 11y ago

> I think it is pretty safe for a man to socialize with men and women at work, but you have to recognize signals that a person doesn't want to talk to you and find a gracious way to deal with that. Really? Recognize the signals in the single most ambiguous pursuit in human nature? Unless you're Brad Pitt, some women will find advances unwanted. Others will welcome them. One cannot differentiate that until after having made the, possibly unwanted, advance.

bittercynic 11y ago
Is socializing the same as making advances for you? I agree, making advances is risky, and you probably shouldn't do it at work, or at the workplace of the person you're making advances towards.
- bsder 11y ago
  > and you probably shouldn't do it at work Why not? You spend 1/3+ of your life at work. You are more likely to meet a wider selection of people at work than you are through even your weak social network if you work for a company of any reasonable size. There aren't hard and fast rules when social interactions come into play. Social interactions are, by nature, ambiguous and have lots of societal context. Yes, there are bright lines which are obviously criminal, but, below that, it gets very murky, very quickly.
- nucleardog 11y ago
  An advance doesn't have to be sexual or flirtatious in nature. It could be as simple as striking up a conversation with someone you've never talked to before or inviting someone out to a group activity.