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So in our pursuit of equality, men are now between a rock and a hard place: treat women equally, but not too equally; treat them differently, but not too differ

So in our pursuit of equality, men are now between a rock and a hard place: treat women equally, but not too equally; treat them differently, but not too differently - or you will be discriminating. "Please discriminate: just very, very carefully and very, very skillfully."

bittercynic 11y ago
In my experience (as a man) all you have to do is treat people with respect and you'll be fine. There are occasionally times when I enter a room where a woman was alone and I can see that my mere presence is making her very uncomfortable and she feels that she can't say/do anything. At those times I quickly excuse myself with a quick "Hello, goodbye" or something. This really doesn't seem like such a tricky issue if you're just respectful and conscious of the discomfort of others.
- nogbit 11y ago
  Respect...exactly right! I've never had a problem and the respect is reciprocated for 20 years now in my career. I've never had to excuse myself either, if it's only 2 people in the room just start a damm conversation. Talking is really easier than you think.
- drunken-serval 11y ago
  This assumes you have the social skills and awareness of your surroundings to notice when you've made someone uncomfortable. I'll often go to the break room with headphones on and make tea while I puzzle through some code I had been working on. I'm barely aware there are other people in the room.
  - FilterSweep 11y ago
    > I'll often go to the break room with headphones on and make tea while I puzzle through some code I had been working on. It's sometimes in those moments when you come across a solution you wouldn't have thought of at your desk. YMMV though.
  - reitanqild 11y ago
    > This assumes you have the social skills and awareness of your surroundings to notice when you've made someone uncomfortable. Spot on. I rarely recognize I made people uncomfortable but reading all these discussions I guess I do :-/ OTOH, I try to be nice to everyone, -that way I should (theoretically) have less to worry about.

bittercynic 11y ago

In my experience (as a man) all you have to do is treat people with respect and you'll be fine. There are occasionally times when I enter a room where a woman was alone and I can see that my mere presence is making her very uncomfortable and she feels that she can't say/do anything. At those times I quickly excuse myself with a quick "Hello, goodbye" or something. This really doesn't seem like such a tricky issue if you're just respectful and conscious of the discomfort of others.

nogbit 11y ago
Respect...exactly right! I've never had a problem and the respect is reciprocated for 20 years now in my career. I've never had to excuse myself either, if it's only 2 people in the room just start a damm conversation. Talking is really easier than you think.
drunken-serval 11y ago
This assumes you have the social skills and awareness of your surroundings to notice when you've made someone uncomfortable. I'll often go to the break room with headphones on and make tea while I puzzle through some code I had been working on. I'm barely aware there are other people in the room.
- FilterSweep 11y ago
  > I'll often go to the break room with headphones on and make tea while I puzzle through some code I had been working on. It's sometimes in those moments when you come across a solution you wouldn't have thought of at your desk. YMMV though.
- reitanqild 11y ago
  > This assumes you have the social skills and awareness of your surroundings to notice when you've made someone uncomfortable. Spot on. I rarely recognize I made people uncomfortable but reading all these discussions I guess I do :-/ OTOH, I try to be nice to everyone, -that way I should (theoretically) have less to worry about.