6 ms·

Ask Women: What counts as sexual harassment? Is it "Let's go out this weekend?" or is it a comment about body parts below the neck, or is it physical?

vkou 11y ago
Why not ask a lawyer instead?
- simunaga 11y ago
  A woman's or a man's lawyer?
  - vkou 11y ago
    Since when do lawyers segregate their practices by gender?
    - simunaga 11y ago
      My comment isn't about gender. It's about the fact that the same lawyer can prove that you, whether you be a man or woman, victim or criminal, guilty and non-guilty at the same time. Depending on whose side the lawyer is.
    - rokhayakebe 11y ago
      Google this "divorce lawyer for men," granted it is marketing ploy.
      - vkou 11y ago
        Fair enough. In this case though, both sides of the aisle will give you the same legal advice.
- rokhayakebe 11y ago
  Today I want to know what women think (and maybe sympathize), not the law.
sre_ops 11y ago
Silly rabbit, it depends on who is asking/commenting.
snowwrestler 11y ago
Sexual harassment is harassment. I don't mean to sound trite, but it's literally true. Politely asking a peer out on a date, ONCE, is not harassment. Even though it might be a little uncomfortable in the moment, that can pass if everyone acts professionally regardless of the outcome. Examples of harassment include: - asking someone out on dates repeatedly, even if they've already said "no" - propositioning someone for sex--different from asking out on a date in that it is more sexually explicit - subtly or not-so-subtly suggesting that you have leverage over them--for example, a boss asking out a direct report and mentioning that their performance review is coming up - making repeated comments of a sexual nature or about a person's body, i.e. "wow Suzie you look so hot in that dress" (if that happens ONLY ONCE and never again, that's not likely to be harassment, but those sorts of things very rarely happen ONLY ONCE) - putting the other person into uncomfortable situations--following them into the bathroom, following them to their car at night, stopping by their home unexpectedly, etc. - pointless, uninvited touching or rubbing--like walking up behind a colleague and starting a shoulder run without asking first (and respecting "no" if that's the answer) - if you want more examples, just read the Vice story linked at the top here
- stcredzero 11y ago
  - asking someone out on dates repeatedly, even if they've already said "no" There's some kind of weird disconnect in our society here. I've been in the position where I've asked a colleague out to a movie, but she gave a plausible sounding excuse each time. I stopped asking when she finally definitely said "no," but she did so with language that made me feel like she thought me a rapist. No means no, but white lies should not be held equivalent to "no."
  - vkou 11y ago
    If she really wanted to see the movie with you, but she actually had to take her dog to the dentist, she would have counter-offered a time and date. She was trying to brush you off, hoping you'd take the hint, without appearing confrontational. It obviously didn't work. You continued with the unwanted advances, and it made her uncomfortable.
scott_s 11y ago
U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission on sexual harassment: https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm

vkou 11y ago

Why not ask a lawyer instead?

simunaga 11y ago
A woman's or a man's lawyer?
- vkou 11y ago
  Since when do lawyers segregate their practices by gender?
  - simunaga 11y ago
    My comment isn't about gender. It's about the fact that the same lawyer can prove that you, whether you be a man or woman, victim or criminal, guilty and non-guilty at the same time. Depending on whose side the lawyer is.
  - rokhayakebe 11y ago
    Google this "divorce lawyer for men," granted it is marketing ploy.
    - vkou 11y ago
      Fair enough. In this case though, both sides of the aisle will give you the same legal advice.
rokhayakebe 11y ago
Today I want to know what women think (and maybe sympathize), not the law.

sre_ops 11y ago

Silly rabbit, it depends on who is asking/commenting.

snowwrestler 11y ago

Sexual harassment is harassment. I don't mean to sound trite, but it's literally true. Politely asking a peer out on a date, ONCE, is not harassment. Even though it might be a little uncomfortable in the moment, that can pass if everyone acts professionally regardless of the outcome. Examples of harassment include: - asking someone out on dates repeatedly, even if they've already said "no" - propositioning someone for sex--different from asking out on a date in that it is more sexually explicit - subtly or not-so-subtly suggesting that you have leverage over them--for example, a boss asking out a direct report and mentioning that their performance review is coming up - making repeated comments of a sexual nature or about a person's body, i.e. "wow Suzie you look so hot in that dress" (if that happens ONLY ONCE and never again, that's not likely to be harassment, but those sorts of things very rarely happen ONLY ONCE) - putting the other person into uncomfortable situations--following them into the bathroom, following them to their car at night, stopping by their home unexpectedly, etc. - pointless, uninvited touching or rubbing--like walking up behind a colleague and starting a shoulder run without asking first (and respecting "no" if that's the answer) - if you want more examples, just read the Vice story linked at the top here

stcredzero 11y ago
- asking someone out on dates repeatedly, even if they've already said "no" There's some kind of weird disconnect in our society here. I've been in the position where I've asked a colleague out to a movie, but she gave a plausible sounding excuse each time. I stopped asking when she finally definitely said "no," but she did so with language that made me feel like she thought me a rapist. No means no, but white lies should not be held equivalent to "no."
- vkou 11y ago
  If she really wanted to see the movie with you, but she actually had to take her dog to the dentist, she would have counter-offered a time and date. She was trying to brush you off, hoping you'd take the hint, without appearing confrontational. It obviously didn't work. You continued with the unwanted advances, and it made her uncomfortable.

scott_s 11y ago

U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission on sexual harassment: https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm