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but lucky for you women are not that vapid So I used to believe this. I believed that allowing myself to be a slave to physical attraction was a character fla

but lucky for you women are not that vapid So I used to believe this. I believed that allowing myself to be a slave to physical attraction was a character flaw, that every time I paid attention to an attractive woman and rejected an unattractive woman that I was a shallow, vapid person. I felt ashamed of it. But have you ever tried dating someone whom you just weren't physically attracted to? I have (twice). It turns out it doesn't work in the long run. Convincing yourself that its the "right thing to do" will work in the short term, but eventually you'll build resentment towards them until the relationship falls apart. I'd encourage you to reconsider this viewpoint, and to stop promulgating it. Be honest with yourself. Anything else is just being reckless with another human being's emotions.

alashley 11y ago
Well said, whenever I hear some one say "I don't care about looks" I think they're trying to put themselves above being superficial, but I think a lot of the time its just lip service. Everyone has their own definition of "good looking" and to that end looks do matter to many people.
danielrhodes 11y ago
Everybody looks different to each other, and there are definitely women who are seen by others to be attractive which I don't find all that attractive (not my type). Likewise, women do not purely look at physical appearance to decide if they find somebody attractive, and neither do men. There are clearly other factors at play. So for somebody to say: I am not physically attractive and therefore not suitable to date is likely not true. Even if you could objectively say that you were physically unattractive, your best bet is to compensate by being better at the other things that form attraction.