6 ms·

> personal theory Yeah that's just your theory. I don't fit into any of those bullet points. My path to red pill started after being married to someone with se

> personal theory Yeah that's just your theory. I don't fit into any of those bullet points. My path to red pill started after being married to someone with severe depression and she could never be happy about anything. Since discovering red pill my wife is doing a lot more than just sleeping all day. Not ALL women act entitled, but geez the ones that do can seriously screw up your life if you don't take action. Just passively trying to meet her endless irrational needs never worked.

J5892 10y ago
Are you saying that your wife's severe depression came from a sense of entitlement? If that's the case, you absolutely fit into the second-to-last bullet point.
- morbidhawk 10y ago
  No, the severe depression came from childhood trauma and abuse. Acting like a child all the time, however, when you're a grown adult and never doing anything responsible is entitlement.
  - kafkaesq 10y ago
    Your language is weird, though. And keeps coming back to associating you wife's "never being happy about anything" and "sleeping all day" to being childish and/or acting from a sense of entitlement.
    - morbidhawk 10y ago
      Being a victim is different than playing the victim card. It's hard for a victim to get out of bed and do things but isn't impossible. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether she has legitimate reasons or not and other times its clear as day she's taking advantage. One thing I like about the red pill and also happens to coincide with stoic philosophy is that you call things what they are rather than what society tells you they are
      - mercer 10y ago
        (Please don't think I'm extrapolating all this from your comment, or applying it to you specifically. Your comment was mostly just a writing prompt of sorts.) I think your comment nicely expresses the core problem I see in the red pill 'movement', and in a whole bunch of other movements (and moreso on the internet). These 'types' of groups oversimplify or warp an aspect of reality primarily because of negative personal issues or experiences. And while that in itself is not necessarily a problem, in these particular cases it often causes real damage to real, complex people who are usually not responsible for these personal or past issues. It also 'traps' the individuals in a way of thinking that, collective, is probably much more powerful and extreme than the individual themself. The thing is, I can actually agree with 'red pillers' to a degree. I've had some really, really bad experiences with 'damaged' girls who took advantage of me, and something like the red pill could've probably helped me before and after these experiences. My life has improved when I became more assertive. But at the same I try to avoid codifying this experience or lesson into a (personal) philosophy or into a movement I interact with regularly. I try to keep the experiences and the resulting lessons small, because I've found that generalizing from negative experiences and basing world views on them can have terrible consequences. In fact, I believe it's the root of a large number of our problems. Unfortunately, the worse the experience, the more likely we are to draw lessons that are too out of proportion to these experiences. It's understandable, but dangerous. Doing this is particularly difficult for me because I'm the type of person who likes to generalize and systemize things. I have to actively and constantly remind myself that life and people are messy, chaotic things and not a pattern to be recognized and generalized (too much, or too early, anyways). Even if I'm good at it. I'm a big fan of stoicism and have become huge fan of all things zen. I see the same dangers there. There's a sharp divide between those who fled into the 'mindfulness' world because of trauma and/or burnout, and those who took it up for other reasons. The former group is often quite unpleasant and deeply unsettling to me, and has in fact played a big role in keeping me from 'discovering' meditation and whatnot. I've noticed the same with certain groups of Christians, cleaned-up drug addicts, atheists, and so on. The main difference is that in most of these movements there's a healthy mix of different people who came to be part of it for different reason. On the internet, it's not only easier to form and become part of such groups, but I wouldn't be surprised if it also attracts a disproportionate number of 'systemizing' people like myself ('spectrummy', for one).
  - deleted 10y ago
    [deleted]
seibelj 10y ago
Anyone can have an attitude of entitlement. I have observed it in both genders and in various life circumstances. Focusing on women shows your bias.
- morbidhawk 10y ago
  I put into practice what I've learned from red pill because of my own relationship dynamic. I never said I worshipped it like it was my religion. It's not biased when it is what it is
tdkl 10y ago
So instead of realizing you married an incompatible person, you changed your behaviour to an extreme ? To paraphrase the "pick-up" jargon - that sounds beta.
- morbidhawk 10y ago
  > So instead of realizing you married an incompatible person, you changed your behaviour to an extreme I found red pill 8 years into my married. I married and had 2 kids really young while going through school and being the sole-provider. I've been conditioned to do such due to my Mormon upbringing. It's recent that I've started to take control of my life instead of just doing what others tell me to do. I'm a far way off of being the Alpha that gets respect
  - tdkl 10y ago
    Those facts actually explain some of the things. If you had more experience with choosing the partner, this perhaps wouldn't happen (which would also mean you'd be more in control of your life as you said it).
  - Mz 10y ago
    As a former full time wife and mom, let me respectfully suggest that if your wife gave birth to two kids while you were going to school and the sole provider, she probably was doing more than just sleeping all day. A lot more. I am sorry for your personal problems and your marital problems. But I am not convinced that your remarks about your wife are an accurate assessment. My husband used to say similar things about me. When we were married, he had the career of his dreams and was going to college with plans to get his PhD and become a college professor. We got divorced. He seems to have given up on getting a PhD etc. It has been a lot of years. His life seems to be okay. It isn't terrible. But his ability to pursue his dreams seems like it died when his "do nothing" wife with an abusive childhood left the picture. He now cooks for his cute new wife, something he never did for me, and she is in school, but his big dreams seem to have been abandoned. I am not trying to be mean here. I sincerely hope you get your problems resolved. But I think you are underestimating the work involved in raising kids, running a household and supporting a man's career. I often slept during the day because, unlike him, the kids were waking me up at night. Best.
Mz 10y ago
Passively trying to meet anyone's endless irrational demands never works. It is not a gendered issue. Crazy is as crazy does.
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]

J5892 10y ago

Are you saying that your wife's severe depression came from a sense of entitlement? If that's the case, you absolutely fit into the second-to-last bullet point.

morbidhawk 10y ago
No, the severe depression came from childhood trauma and abuse. Acting like a child all the time, however, when you're a grown adult and never doing anything responsible is entitlement.
- kafkaesq 10y ago
  Your language is weird, though. And keeps coming back to associating you wife's "never being happy about anything" and "sleeping all day" to being childish and/or acting from a sense of entitlement.
  - morbidhawk 10y ago
    Being a victim is different than playing the victim card. It's hard for a victim to get out of bed and do things but isn't impossible. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether she has legitimate reasons or not and other times its clear as day she's taking advantage. One thing I like about the red pill and also happens to coincide with stoic philosophy is that you call things what they are rather than what society tells you they are
    - mercer 10y ago
      (Please don't think I'm extrapolating all this from your comment, or applying it to you specifically. Your comment was mostly just a writing prompt of sorts.) I think your comment nicely expresses the core problem I see in the red pill 'movement', and in a whole bunch of other movements (and moreso on the internet). These 'types' of groups oversimplify or warp an aspect of reality primarily because of negative personal issues or experiences. And while that in itself is not necessarily a problem, in these particular cases it often causes real damage to real, complex people who are usually not responsible for these personal or past issues. It also 'traps' the individuals in a way of thinking that, collective, is probably much more powerful and extreme than the individual themself. The thing is, I can actually agree with 'red pillers' to a degree. I've had some really, really bad experiences with 'damaged' girls who took advantage of me, and something like the red pill could've probably helped me before and after these experiences. My life has improved when I became more assertive. But at the same I try to avoid codifying this experience or lesson into a (personal) philosophy or into a movement I interact with regularly. I try to keep the experiences and the resulting lessons small, because I've found that generalizing from negative experiences and basing world views on them can have terrible consequences. In fact, I believe it's the root of a large number of our problems. Unfortunately, the worse the experience, the more likely we are to draw lessons that are too out of proportion to these experiences. It's understandable, but dangerous. Doing this is particularly difficult for me because I'm the type of person who likes to generalize and systemize things. I have to actively and constantly remind myself that life and people are messy, chaotic things and not a pattern to be recognized and generalized (too much, or too early, anyways). Even if I'm good at it. I'm a big fan of stoicism and have become huge fan of all things zen. I see the same dangers there. There's a sharp divide between those who fled into the 'mindfulness' world because of trauma and/or burnout, and those who took it up for other reasons. The former group is often quite unpleasant and deeply unsettling to me, and has in fact played a big role in keeping me from 'discovering' meditation and whatnot. I've noticed the same with certain groups of Christians, cleaned-up drug addicts, atheists, and so on. The main difference is that in most of these movements there's a healthy mix of different people who came to be part of it for different reason. On the internet, it's not only easier to form and become part of such groups, but I wouldn't be surprised if it also attracts a disproportionate number of 'systemizing' people like myself ('spectrummy', for one).
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]

seibelj 10y ago

Anyone can have an attitude of entitlement. I have observed it in both genders and in various life circumstances. Focusing on women shows your bias.

morbidhawk 10y ago
I put into practice what I've learned from red pill because of my own relationship dynamic. I never said I worshipped it like it was my religion. It's not biased when it is what it is

tdkl 10y ago

So instead of realizing you married an incompatible person, you changed your behaviour to an extreme ? To paraphrase the "pick-up" jargon - that sounds beta.

morbidhawk 10y ago
> So instead of realizing you married an incompatible person, you changed your behaviour to an extreme I found red pill 8 years into my married. I married and had 2 kids really young while going through school and being the sole-provider. I've been conditioned to do such due to my Mormon upbringing. It's recent that I've started to take control of my life instead of just doing what others tell me to do. I'm a far way off of being the Alpha that gets respect
- tdkl 10y ago
  Those facts actually explain some of the things. If you had more experience with choosing the partner, this perhaps wouldn't happen (which would also mean you'd be more in control of your life as you said it).
- Mz 10y ago
  As a former full time wife and mom, let me respectfully suggest that if your wife gave birth to two kids while you were going to school and the sole provider, she probably was doing more than just sleeping all day. A lot more. I am sorry for your personal problems and your marital problems. But I am not convinced that your remarks about your wife are an accurate assessment. My husband used to say similar things about me. When we were married, he had the career of his dreams and was going to college with plans to get his PhD and become a college professor. We got divorced. He seems to have given up on getting a PhD etc. It has been a lot of years. His life seems to be okay. It isn't terrible. But his ability to pursue his dreams seems like it died when his "do nothing" wife with an abusive childhood left the picture. He now cooks for his cute new wife, something he never did for me, and she is in school, but his big dreams seem to have been abandoned. I am not trying to be mean here. I sincerely hope you get your problems resolved. But I think you are underestimating the work involved in raising kids, running a household and supporting a man's career. I often slept during the day because, unlike him, the kids were waking me up at night. Best.

Mz 10y ago

Passively trying to meet anyone's endless irrational demands never works. It is not a gendered issue. Crazy is as crazy does.

deleted 10y ago
[deleted]