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Serious question. What does work-life balance look like. I genuinely have a difficult time finding things to occupy my time when I don't work. I am not really e

Serious question. What does work-life balance look like. I genuinely have a difficult time finding things to occupy my time when I don't work. I am not really even fully sure where to start...

mimming 11y ago
It looks like time spent doing things that my employer wouldn't pay me to do. Over the course of my life, it's changed. Sometimes it looks pretty similar to my day job, but to the benefit of a different organization, like when I mentored a FIRST robotics team. Recently it's looked very different. I balance work with sports so that I can keep my body working well enough to enjoy a longer career :)
bufordsharkley 11y ago
I volunteer at a community radio station, read books, watch films, work on things around the house, work on projects with friends, etc, etc.
emodendroket 11y ago
I mean, are you really saying you can't think of a single thing you'd like to do besides more work? Even if you just want to veg out on the couch and watch TV having some sort of downtime is important.
- NikolaeVarius 11y ago
  Personally no. Any time I'm not working is time wasted.
  - burkaman 11y ago
    "Working" is a little different than "at work". Is there anything you want to do that you are not already employed to do, besides eating and sleeping?
  - emodendroket 11y ago
    Are you kidding, dude? There's more to life than just writing code. Don't you have a family, or friends?
- tekromancr 11y ago
  Well that's the thing. For a really long time I completely poured myself into programming. Like, my entire teenage years and most of my 20s. Now I am about to turn 27 and I don't really have many friends. I have never been in a serious romantic relationship. I have never left the country. I haven't really made much of an attempt at making money, so I am pretty much living check-to-check at a startup that I don't really care about anymore, but can't leave because I can't stand disappointing anyone. So I am kinda stuck. At this point, I think the only thing I am good at is just losing hours in code.
  - vvanders 11y ago
    Work-Life balance can mean working on programming projects outside of work, to a lesser degree. There's a big different between having something you can riff on for a while and then drop when it doesn't hold your interest and something you have to ship regardless of what's involved.
    - emodendroket 11y ago
      Yes, but I don't think it's the most valuable thing that someone in his position could do with his spare time to work on side projects.
  - Raphmedia 11y ago
    > I have never been in a serious romantic relationship. I have never left the country. I haven't really made much of an attempt at making money Well, there's three things for you do start doing beside work!
  - Jtsummers 11y ago
    I responded to your first post, but I'll respond here as well since you've added some more. 1) The money situation is tough, but workable. Are you in a position to ask for a raise or are there things you can cut back on to save some money? If you don't want to change jobs yet, try those. 2) You don't want to disappoint anyone, I understand that completely. Was this something you were once passionate about but lost interest in? Your post sounds like you're experiencing burnout. Do you get paid vacation? If there's no formal leave agreement, maybe ask for 1-2 weeks of paid time off to just go get your head clear. Drive up to the mountains and hike or relax in a cabin with some books. Come back a bit refreshed. 3) What kind of hours do you work now? If your work is taking up your weekends, reclaim them. Take day trips somewhere, find a local rec sports league, or go to a park and find a pick up game of soccer or something. You may not enjoy these things, find something else. But try things. You won't know what you like until you do. I had no idea I'd like ballroom dancing until I took a date to a social dance one night (because I knew she liked dancing). It was the first time I'd danced in years, and it was a blast (for me, also terrifying because I felt like a klutz). 4) I get the bit about no serious romantic relationships. In all honesty, I had 2 in high school and college, nothing post college until that ex in the last paragraph. It's not easy, and it can be terrifying returning to it after a long hiatus. But it's one of those things that you have to try for if you want it, relationships (rarely) fall into your lap. In fact, the first time you have a partner and not just someone you go on a couple dates with may end in disaster. But I don't regret that one, parts of it, but not the relationship itself. I was trapped, inertia-wise, in singlehood and dating her got me past that hump.
Jtsummers 11y ago
This is hard to respond to. Are you a social person? Do you prefer being by yourself more often than not? Are you physically active or interested in being physically active? Hiking, climbing, fighting, dancing, running, swimming, weight-lifting, soccer, kickball, ultimate, softball, cycling, bowling, tennis, etc. Are you dating someone, occasionally going on dates, not dating at all? The first two can certainly occupy your time, and can help you find activities you enjoy by doing things with your dates or partner. The third, if you prefer things that way at the moment, keep it that way, otherwise maybe spend time out socially trying to meet partners (church, bar, club, sports league, etc.). Solo indoors: reading, video games, TV, education (organized like an online masters program, self-guided by choosing a topic and reading/researching it). Solo outdoors: Physical stuffs above, gardening. Creative hobby: cooking (can be creative, or just enjoyable), painting, drawing, sculpting, wood working, metal working. Hell, take up a technical skill like welding or something. There are places near me where I can learn that in the evenings, probably available in most decent sized towns. Auto-shop classes if you don't have that skillset yet and may want it. Some of these things you can just try, give them a month and see if they stick. Spend more time with friends or family being social. Host movie nights or game nights or barbeques. Organize the night out events.

Serious question. What does work-life balance look like. I genuinely have a difficult time finding things to occupy my time when I don't work. I am not really even fully sure where to start...

mimming 11y ago

It looks like time spent doing things that my employer wouldn't pay me to do. Over the course of my life, it's changed. Sometimes it looks pretty similar to my day job, but to the benefit of a different organization, like when I mentored a FIRST robotics team. Recently it's looked very different. I balance work with sports so that I can keep my body working well enough to enjoy a longer career :)

bufordsharkley 11y ago

I volunteer at a community radio station, read books, watch films, work on things around the house, work on projects with friends, etc, etc.

emodendroket 11y ago

I mean, are you really saying you can't think of a single thing you'd like to do besides more work? Even if you just want to veg out on the couch and watch TV having some sort of downtime is important.

NikolaeVarius 11y ago
Personally no. Any time I'm not working is time wasted.
- burkaman 11y ago
  "Working" is a little different than "at work". Is there anything you want to do that you are not already employed to do, besides eating and sleeping?
- emodendroket 11y ago
  Are you kidding, dude? There's more to life than just writing code. Don't you have a family, or friends?
tekromancr 11y ago
Well that's the thing. For a really long time I completely poured myself into programming. Like, my entire teenage years and most of my 20s. Now I am about to turn 27 and I don't really have many friends. I have never been in a serious romantic relationship. I have never left the country. I haven't really made much of an attempt at making money, so I am pretty much living check-to-check at a startup that I don't really care about anymore, but can't leave because I can't stand disappointing anyone. So I am kinda stuck. At this point, I think the only thing I am good at is just losing hours in code.
- vvanders 11y ago
  Work-Life balance can mean working on programming projects outside of work, to a lesser degree. There's a big different between having something you can riff on for a while and then drop when it doesn't hold your interest and something you have to ship regardless of what's involved.
  - emodendroket 11y ago
    Yes, but I don't think it's the most valuable thing that someone in his position could do with his spare time to work on side projects.
- Raphmedia 11y ago
  > I have never been in a serious romantic relationship. I have never left the country. I haven't really made much of an attempt at making money Well, there's three things for you do start doing beside work!
- Jtsummers 11y ago
  I responded to your first post, but I'll respond here as well since you've added some more. 1) The money situation is tough, but workable. Are you in a position to ask for a raise or are there things you can cut back on to save some money? If you don't want to change jobs yet, try those. 2) You don't want to disappoint anyone, I understand that completely. Was this something you were once passionate about but lost interest in? Your post sounds like you're experiencing burnout. Do you get paid vacation? If there's no formal leave agreement, maybe ask for 1-2 weeks of paid time off to just go get your head clear. Drive up to the mountains and hike or relax in a cabin with some books. Come back a bit refreshed. 3) What kind of hours do you work now? If your work is taking up your weekends, reclaim them. Take day trips somewhere, find a local rec sports league, or go to a park and find a pick up game of soccer or something. You may not enjoy these things, find something else. But try things. You won't know what you like until you do. I had no idea I'd like ballroom dancing until I took a date to a social dance one night (because I knew she liked dancing). It was the first time I'd danced in years, and it was a blast (for me, also terrifying because I felt like a klutz). 4) I get the bit about no serious romantic relationships. In all honesty, I had 2 in high school and college, nothing post college until that ex in the last paragraph. It's not easy, and it can be terrifying returning to it after a long hiatus. But it's one of those things that you have to try for if you want it, relationships (rarely) fall into your lap. In fact, the first time you have a partner and not just someone you go on a couple dates with may end in disaster. But I don't regret that one, parts of it, but not the relationship itself. I was trapped, inertia-wise, in singlehood and dating her got me past that hump.

Jtsummers 11y ago

This is hard to respond to. Are you a social person? Do you prefer being by yourself more often than not? Are you physically active or interested in being physically active? Hiking, climbing, fighting, dancing, running, swimming, weight-lifting, soccer, kickball, ultimate, softball, cycling, bowling, tennis, etc. Are you dating someone, occasionally going on dates, not dating at all? The first two can certainly occupy your time, and can help you find activities you enjoy by doing things with your dates or partner. The third, if you prefer things that way at the moment, keep it that way, otherwise maybe spend time out socially trying to meet partners (church, bar, club, sports league, etc.). Solo indoors: reading, video games, TV, education (organized like an online masters program, self-guided by choosing a topic and reading/researching it). Solo outdoors: Physical stuffs above, gardening. Creative hobby: cooking (can be creative, or just enjoyable), painting, drawing, sculpting, wood working, metal working. Hell, take up a technical skill like welding or something. There are places near me where I can learn that in the evenings, probably available in most decent sized towns. Auto-shop classes if you don't have that skillset yet and may want it. Some of these things you can just try, give them a month and see if they stick. Spend more time with friends or family being social. Host movie nights or game nights or barbeques. Organize the night out events.