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I already live at the maximum reasonable distance from the city (3 hour round trip commute) and a 2-bedroom flat is completely unaffordable. I could possibly ge

I already live at the maximum reasonable distance from the city (3 hour round trip commute) and a 2-bedroom flat is completely unaffordable. I could possibly get a tiny 1br if I knew that I could secure employment for a decade or if I got a massive pay rise. Everyone else I know in my peer group has completely given up and seems to be set for a life of renting forever - I earn almost double them. I can live somewhere completely uncommutable and work remotely. That means leaving her behind. It's two issues. I stay with her and kill myself (not in the 'suicide attempt' sense, but in the literal keeling over due to stress sense), I leave her and actually kill myself (due to the absurdity of having the fucking economy tell me that I can't be with my partner because she doesn't care to be a serf forever). It's just fucking money, you know? Numbers. Pictures of faces on paper. Less flippantly - money represents claim checks on society. In the context, that means that society doesn't want me, or many others like me, because we're not worth it.

stray 11y ago
What's wrong with renting? I rent. I've always rented. And I think it's silly to buy. But I live on the opposite side of the pond from you. Only old people here are obsessed with owning a home.
- throwawaynym 11y ago
  I'm sorry. I can't respond to this right now, not properly. Maybe someone else will. It just makes me angry. I can give you a short response. I don't mind renting. It's cool. I like the concept. I like choosing to rent. I don't like being forced to rent - I don't want to pay my landlord's mortgage - I don't want to move all of my stuff every 12 months - I want to put up shelves, paint, whatever. Make a home. Install a dishwasher. I don't want my children, if I ever have children, to move all the time. I want them to have a bedroom, not 10 different bedrooms throughout their life. I get what you're saying. I'm not you. I won't ever be you.
  - stray 11y ago
    How much money would you need to buy a modest home you and your partner would be happy with? Is it truly out of reach? Or is it something that will take a long time? Also, how much money would it cost to buy a modest home a very short commute from where you're likely to work for the remainder of your life? And what sort of work could get you there? Are you a programmer?
viraptor 11y ago
Have you tried talking to your partner about moving somewhere else? It sounds like you're completely excluding the idea of her moving anywhere. (or maybe you didn't mention it) Maybe she'd be up for it if it means a happier life? Also, have you got a hobby completely disconnected from everything else you do for work / relationship? It won't solve all your life problems, but it could make you happy. I'd recommend trying to find something that involves very open, emotional people - probably not a typical tech meetup. > In the context, that means that society doesn't want me, or many others like me, because we're not worth it. Bullshit. Everyone acts on their incentives and we just suck at looking at them in bigger context. There are incentives to live in big cities, even though when everyone actually does it, cities become places with lots of problems. "Society" doesn't want anything, or judge anyone's worth. People do, but then you can tell them to bugger off.

stray 11y ago

What's wrong with renting? I rent. I've always rented. And I think it's silly to buy. But I live on the opposite side of the pond from you. Only old people here are obsessed with owning a home.

throwawaynym 11y ago
I'm sorry. I can't respond to this right now, not properly. Maybe someone else will. It just makes me angry. I can give you a short response. I don't mind renting. It's cool. I like the concept. I like choosing to rent. I don't like being forced to rent - I don't want to pay my landlord's mortgage - I don't want to move all of my stuff every 12 months - I want to put up shelves, paint, whatever. Make a home. Install a dishwasher. I don't want my children, if I ever have children, to move all the time. I want them to have a bedroom, not 10 different bedrooms throughout their life. I get what you're saying. I'm not you. I won't ever be you.
- stray 11y ago
  How much money would you need to buy a modest home you and your partner would be happy with? Is it truly out of reach? Or is it something that will take a long time? Also, how much money would it cost to buy a modest home a very short commute from where you're likely to work for the remainder of your life? And what sort of work could get you there? Are you a programmer?

viraptor 11y ago

Have you tried talking to your partner about moving somewhere else? It sounds like you're completely excluding the idea of her moving anywhere. (or maybe you didn't mention it) Maybe she'd be up for it if it means a happier life? Also, have you got a hobby completely disconnected from everything else you do for work / relationship? It won't solve all your life problems, but it could make you happy. I'd recommend trying to find something that involves very open, emotional people - probably not a typical tech meetup. > In the context, that means that society doesn't want me, or many others like me, because we're not worth it. Bullshit. Everyone acts on their incentives and we just suck at looking at them in bigger context. There are incentives to live in big cities, even though when everyone actually does it, cities become places with lots of problems. "Society" doesn't want anything, or judge anyone's worth. People do, but then you can tell them to bugger off.