Perhaps you really saw the "bitter truth" as GP put it for the first time? I really don't mean this in a patronizing way. More that powerful drugs like this hav

Perhaps you really saw the "bitter truth" as GP put it for the first time? I really don't mean this in a patronizing way. More that powerful drugs like this have a tendency to show you things about reality both good and bad that you otherwise would never have known. The discoveries you make can reverberate for years. The resulting bum out about the bad things (and I guess the stoke for the good things) can manifest sort of indirectly/physically (as opposed to consciously/mentally).