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I am married, but was given a pass to use Tinder while researching a dating app. One of the most interesting things that came from it is that I saw a definite p

I am married, but was given a pass to use Tinder while researching a dating app. One of the most interesting things that came from it is that I saw a definite pattern in the women who swiped right on me. Dating apps are markets where we are the commodity. If I were to assign a number to my matches, they would've all been in the same range. From that I extrapolate that I must be in that same number range to the opposite sex. I got true "price discovery" for myself.

stuxnet79 11y ago
That's interesting. I'd be very interested in determining my "market value". So on the app you can tell which women swiped right on you and which didn't? I am going to install Tinder tonight to check it out then.
- emodendroket 11y ago
  AFAIK you both have to agree and then you'll be shown each other, although I wonder how well this works since as I understand most men just swipe right to everything without even looking and then cancel if they get a match they don't want
Grishnakh 11y ago
I've had some interesting experiences here. I live a little over an hour outside of a major metro area that has a lot of single women. Sitting at home swiping, I get almost no matches, and when I tried swiping right on everyone once, the results weren't great, making it seem like my "number" isn't as high as I thought. But then when I go into the city on the weekend and start swiping, I get a boatload of matches from much more attractive women, the kind I really do want to date. It's just like they say in real estate: location, location, location. If you're not a good match or cultural fit for the single women in your area (I'm not), and you're a bit too far for a lot of people to want to bother dating you, the "market" is going to look really bad.
- draw_down 11y ago
  I've noticed a similar effect between the mid-sized city I live in and when I opened my dating app while visiting SF. The women in SF I matched with seemed "cooler" and were significantly more physically attractive. And in reverse, when I go to the little town in western MD where I grew up, the results are pretty abysmal. As far as maximizing one's own rating, there are a number of subtle signifiers that can be deployed (though it's unethical to outright lie about yourself) and it helps to not be cliche. And of course, the basic matter of having good photos of oneself. Good lighting, well dressed, taken with a longer focal length than a smartphone camera, etc. (I don't fully understand the effect myself, but longer focal length tends to result in a more flattering photo)
  - ambicapter 11y ago
    Longer focal length is like a telephoto lens–it flattens out your features. The opposite would be a fisheye lens, which makes everything look bulbous and gross.
  - sliverstorm 11y ago
    This is what happens with a short focal length: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6e/77/52/6e7752ec3ade6080c593a904a7dedffd.jpg https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6e/77/52/6e7752ec3... Technically the focal length doesn't do anything- what's really happening is a short focal length results in placing the camera very close to the subject (which gives distorted perspectives) while a long focal length results in the camera far from the subject (which minimizes perspective distortion)
    - draw_down 11y ago
      Yeah, that's pretty much how selfies make my nose look too.
mod 11y ago
If you weren't the bottom of the range, shouldn't you have been selected by (roughly) all women your range and below? Or do women rated a 2 not select men rated a 5?
- hodwik 11y ago
  I recall reading a post on OKCupid's great blog where-in they were saying that women over-estimate their attractiveness relative to men at the same level.
  - Declanomous 11y ago
    I hypothesized the same thing myself. I believe it is because men as a whole will sleep with women who are substantially less attractive than them in order to fulfill sexual desire, colloquially referred to as "bussin' down." I came up with this theory because a bafflingly large number of people have shared their opinions on this very matter as it relates to my relationships. In each relationship, a large number of my heterosexual female friends thought I was punching above my weight. Almost all my other friends thought I was at least as attractive, or more attractive, than my SO at the time. At the time, I thought one of two things: 1.) Men, including homosexual men, weight traits differently when it comes to attractiveness. 2.) My behavior towards women was unattractive in some way, e.g. sexist, overly macho, etc. Both of those things might still be true, but I reconsidered the main cause, because as time went on more and more women that were middle-aged or older would tell me that I was more attractive than my girlfriend. In any case, I'm personally of the opinion that outsiders' personal tastes shouldn't matter in a relationship. I've found each of my girlfriends very attractive, and they've found me attractive in turn. I don't believe there is a single positive reason that could motivate someone to tell someone else they are either more attractive or less attractive than their partner. Best-case scenario, they completely ignore your input. It strikes me as a way of enforcing normative behavior.
- tomp 11y ago
  He swiped "yes" to women >= his level, whereas women that swiped "yes" were <= his level. So he only matched (i.e. got feedback) from women ~= his level.

stuxnet79 11y ago

That's interesting. I'd be very interested in determining my "market value". So on the app you can tell which women swiped right on you and which didn't? I am going to install Tinder tonight to check it out then.

emodendroket 11y ago
AFAIK you both have to agree and then you'll be shown each other, although I wonder how well this works since as I understand most men just swipe right to everything without even looking and then cancel if they get a match they don't want

Grishnakh 11y ago

I've had some interesting experiences here. I live a little over an hour outside of a major metro area that has a lot of single women. Sitting at home swiping, I get almost no matches, and when I tried swiping right on everyone once, the results weren't great, making it seem like my "number" isn't as high as I thought. But then when I go into the city on the weekend and start swiping, I get a boatload of matches from much more attractive women, the kind I really do want to date. It's just like they say in real estate: location, location, location. If you're not a good match or cultural fit for the single women in your area (I'm not), and you're a bit too far for a lot of people to want to bother dating you, the "market" is going to look really bad.

draw_down 11y ago
I've noticed a similar effect between the mid-sized city I live in and when I opened my dating app while visiting SF. The women in SF I matched with seemed "cooler" and were significantly more physically attractive. And in reverse, when I go to the little town in western MD where I grew up, the results are pretty abysmal. As far as maximizing one's own rating, there are a number of subtle signifiers that can be deployed (though it's unethical to outright lie about yourself) and it helps to not be cliche. And of course, the basic matter of having good photos of oneself. Good lighting, well dressed, taken with a longer focal length than a smartphone camera, etc. (I don't fully understand the effect myself, but longer focal length tends to result in a more flattering photo)
- ambicapter 11y ago
  Longer focal length is like a telephoto lens–it flattens out your features. The opposite would be a fisheye lens, which makes everything look bulbous and gross.
- sliverstorm 11y ago
  This is what happens with a short focal length: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6e/77/52/6e7752ec3ade6080c593a904a7dedffd.jpg https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6e/77/52/6e7752ec3... Technically the focal length doesn't do anything- what's really happening is a short focal length results in placing the camera very close to the subject (which gives distorted perspectives) while a long focal length results in the camera far from the subject (which minimizes perspective distortion)
  - draw_down 11y ago
    Yeah, that's pretty much how selfies make my nose look too.

mod 11y ago

If you weren't the bottom of the range, shouldn't you have been selected by (roughly) all women your range and below? Or do women rated a 2 not select men rated a 5?

hodwik 11y ago
I recall reading a post on OKCupid's great blog where-in they were saying that women over-estimate their attractiveness relative to men at the same level.
- Declanomous 11y ago
  I hypothesized the same thing myself. I believe it is because men as a whole will sleep with women who are substantially less attractive than them in order to fulfill sexual desire, colloquially referred to as "bussin' down." I came up with this theory because a bafflingly large number of people have shared their opinions on this very matter as it relates to my relationships. In each relationship, a large number of my heterosexual female friends thought I was punching above my weight. Almost all my other friends thought I was at least as attractive, or more attractive, than my SO at the time. At the time, I thought one of two things: 1.) Men, including homosexual men, weight traits differently when it comes to attractiveness. 2.) My behavior towards women was unattractive in some way, e.g. sexist, overly macho, etc. Both of those things might still be true, but I reconsidered the main cause, because as time went on more and more women that were middle-aged or older would tell me that I was more attractive than my girlfriend. In any case, I'm personally of the opinion that outsiders' personal tastes shouldn't matter in a relationship. I've found each of my girlfriends very attractive, and they've found me attractive in turn. I don't believe there is a single positive reason that could motivate someone to tell someone else they are either more attractive or less attractive than their partner. Best-case scenario, they completely ignore your input. It strikes me as a way of enforcing normative behavior.
tomp 11y ago
He swiped "yes" to women >= his level, whereas women that swiped "yes" were <= his level. So he only matched (i.e. got feedback) from women ~= his level.