6 ms·

Please don't generalize outside of areas that you have experience with. In the gay community (male at least), tinder is more relationship-oriented than your de

by dnr 11y ago

Please don't generalize outside of areas that you have experience with. In the gay community (male at least), tinder is more relationship-oriented than your description (because there are already many other apps for hooking up).

jamesrom 11y ago
But his generalization is apt. It's a generalization. It does not apply to your specific circumstance. Nor mine, actually. And further to the point, his observation does not change if you find and replace 'tinder' with whatever app you DO use for hooking up.
- adam-a 11y ago
  I don't think his generalisation his accurate, and lots of others agree. Not only the idea that Tinder is majority used for hook-ups, but the idea that people have been having casual hook ups for hundreds or thousands of years, and mostly falling in love through work or long term social relationships. You don't have to look very far in time or geography to see societies that don't work anything like that. Arranged marriages, gender segregated schooling, lack of women in the workplace until relatively recently. And FWIW, within my social circles, Tinder is frequently used to find serious (as opposed to casual) dates. I have just moved in with my girlfriend who I met on Tinder.
- forgetsusername 11y ago
  >But his generalization is apt. It's baseless and directly contradicts the data in the article, with no evidence outside of a personal experience with Tinder.
  - gareim 11y ago
    Which data in the article did it contradict?
  - dnr 11y ago
    It's even worse: as he himself said in his second paragraph, he has no personal experience with Tinder at all, it's all from "from speaking to people who use Tinder"! This is the most aggravating thing, even beyond the content of his comment and the way that it implicitly insults people who are trying to use Tinder for more than hookups: people see an app/phenomenon like Tinder and make a quick simplistic judgement based on what they want to see and their moral biases, and then make sweeping pronouncements like that.
Grishnakh 11y ago
It's not just (geographical) area, it's age range. He's probably around 25 years old. For those of us around 40, what he wrote is completely wrong. I almost never see any women on there looking for a hookup, but I don't look for girls aged 20.
kom107 11y ago
Seconding this for the lesbian community. For heterosexuals, sure, this may only be a hookup app. For lesbians? Long term relationships from Tinder abound (I say this as a lesbian, albeit one who met her wife at work).
- cballard 11y ago
  Maybe this is not really an issue for homosexual couples, but I would never have considered Tinder because unlike OK Cupid, there's no way to filter out Republican-hates-the-gays-hates-abortions types. The question/answer filtering and profile text was the most important part of online dating to me.
  - emodendroket 11y ago
    Don't you have to talk to people before you set up a date?
    - cballard 11y ago
      OK Cupid also has questions covering: - Evolution. - Whether or not dinosaurs were a thing. - If the Moon landing happened. - The relative size of the Earth and the Sun. - If Astrology is scientifically accurate. ... among others, all of which I had marked, with the correct answer set as "mandatory". If someone answered enough of these with the wrong answer, you won't even see them (if you do, you'll have a high "enemy" percentage), so you won't waste your time talking to them.
      - JoeAltmaier 11y ago
        They actually instrument the process of setting up your own personal information 'bubble'? 1984 was 30 years ago, so its probably overdue.
        lotharbot 11y ago
        I wouldn't use the term "information bubble" to describe this sort of filtering. It's not as though a person is unaware of those who believe differently regarding topics like evolution or the moon landing, or will never hear those arguments. It's just not necessarily a good idea to try to form a romantic partnership with someone who you don't respect because they believe a position you consider to be "crazy".

by dnr 11y ago

jamesrom 11y ago

But his generalization is apt. It's a generalization. It does not apply to your specific circumstance. Nor mine, actually. And further to the point, his observation does not change if you find and replace 'tinder' with whatever app you DO use for hooking up.

adam-a 11y ago
I don't think his generalisation his accurate, and lots of others agree. Not only the idea that Tinder is majority used for hook-ups, but the idea that people have been having casual hook ups for hundreds or thousands of years, and mostly falling in love through work or long term social relationships. You don't have to look very far in time or geography to see societies that don't work anything like that. Arranged marriages, gender segregated schooling, lack of women in the workplace until relatively recently. And FWIW, within my social circles, Tinder is frequently used to find serious (as opposed to casual) dates. I have just moved in with my girlfriend who I met on Tinder.
forgetsusername 11y ago
>But his generalization is apt. It's baseless and directly contradicts the data in the article, with no evidence outside of a personal experience with Tinder.
- gareim 11y ago
  Which data in the article did it contradict?
- dnr 11y ago
  It's even worse: as he himself said in his second paragraph, he has no personal experience with Tinder at all, it's all from "from speaking to people who use Tinder"! This is the most aggravating thing, even beyond the content of his comment and the way that it implicitly insults people who are trying to use Tinder for more than hookups: people see an app/phenomenon like Tinder and make a quick simplistic judgement based on what they want to see and their moral biases, and then make sweeping pronouncements like that.

Grishnakh 11y ago

It's not just (geographical) area, it's age range. He's probably around 25 years old. For those of us around 40, what he wrote is completely wrong. I almost never see any women on there looking for a hookup, but I don't look for girls aged 20.

kom107 11y ago

Seconding this for the lesbian community. For heterosexuals, sure, this may only be a hookup app. For lesbians? Long term relationships from Tinder abound (I say this as a lesbian, albeit one who met her wife at work).

cballard 11y ago
Maybe this is not really an issue for homosexual couples, but I would never have considered Tinder because unlike OK Cupid, there's no way to filter out Republican-hates-the-gays-hates-abortions types. The question/answer filtering and profile text was the most important part of online dating to me.
- emodendroket 11y ago
  Don't you have to talk to people before you set up a date?
  - cballard 11y ago
    OK Cupid also has questions covering: - Evolution. - Whether or not dinosaurs were a thing. - If the Moon landing happened. - The relative size of the Earth and the Sun. - If Astrology is scientifically accurate. ... among others, all of which I had marked, with the correct answer set as "mandatory". If someone answered enough of these with the wrong answer, you won't even see them (if you do, you'll have a high "enemy" percentage), so you won't waste your time talking to them.
    - JoeAltmaier 11y ago
      They actually instrument the process of setting up your own personal information 'bubble'? 1984 was 30 years ago, so its probably overdue.
      - lotharbot 11y ago
        I wouldn't use the term "information bubble" to describe this sort of filtering. It's not as though a person is unaware of those who believe differently regarding topics like evolution or the moon landing, or will never hear those arguments. It's just not necessarily a good idea to try to form a romantic partnership with someone who you don't respect because they believe a position you consider to be "crazy".