Funnily, I've been reading a book by a psychologist who developed EFT, a type of couple's therapy. One scenario that stood out was how somebody would be emotio

Funnily, I've been reading a book by a psychologist who developed EFT, a type of couple's therapy. One scenario that stood out was how somebody would be emotional and that the partner immediately turns to problem solving to try and "fix it" when in fact the number 1 need is emotional support and to know they're there. The problem solver makes things worse by shunning the emotional needs and working to minimise them - perhaps as an internal reaction to difficult emotions. The goal of the therapy is to admit to each other that you depend on each other and that's alright. Moving forward, expressing this need for closeness and dependence. This runs counter to traditional couples therapy, which has indeed focused on problem solving and a supposed need for independence. I've been applying some of the ideas to my own relationship that has, especially over the last 6 months, been quite turbulent. The results are looking good. The book is called 'Hold Me Tight'. Very interesting.