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What if you are the only child who is not mentally ill in a family where both parent have chronic illness that requires constant care and neither of them has si

What if you are the only child who is not mentally ill in a family where both parent have chronic illness that requires constant care and neither of them has siblings? I don't read a lot of success stories about people who spent much of their lives as caregivers. What if you are in a part of the world (read much of the world) where the only paths to success require seriously unethical behavior? The right partner makes a huge difference, but what if you only meet a suitable partner late in life or you end up sucked into their or their family's problems? If you have good health, you do not live in fear of criminals and militias, if you and your partner love each other unambiguously and have the time to really support and enjoy each other, and because of all those things you are able to achieve some measure of financial security, then you have what a tiny minority of human beings get to enjoy as a fleeting mirage, and only a vanishingly small minority get to enjoy for a significant fraction of their lives. Most human beings can only "make" a small part of their luck.

WalterBright 11y ago
In other countries it may very well be different, but in America people mostly make their own luck. As to working hard, that isn't what counts. It's making the right choices, i.e. working smart. Sure, lots start out with many disadvantages and will have a tougher road. But if you're able-bodied, you do have choices.
- hackuser 11y ago
  > in America people mostly make their own luck. That's clearly not the case. Off the top of my head, success depends heavily on the neighborhood and family you are born into. Are your parents divorced, in prison, are they alchoholics, do they teach you values and education, do they abuse you, do they rear you at all, can they afford food, electricity, or college? Does the school in your zip code have books the classrooms? Are you going to get shot in the streets, do your friends sell drugs? Is it a wealthy suburban school where 90% go to college, a poor urban one where 90% are literate?
  - WalterBright 11y ago
    I expected to be downvoted with that comment. It doesn't fit the usual narrative. But I have some karma to burn, and feel like burning it in a good cause :-) The fact is, if you are able-bodied, you do have choices. I won't repeat what I've posted elsewhere in this thread. I'll just add that in my life I've noticed a consistent pattern. People who take responsibility for their choices do much better than people who always blame others, fate, whatever. And American today has more opportunities for more people than anywhere at anytime in history. There's a reason why America has so many illegal immigrants and so many more that want to come here.
    - hackuser 11y ago
      Walter - I've given you some of that karma by upvoting you many times. It seems like you are the one relying on a 'usual narrative', that you just have to work hard. How do you square that with the data, the outcomes that wealthy kids are so much more successful? How about that they get into college at such higher rates at age 18? Why would poor kids be any lazier than wealthy ones? > And American today has more opportunities for more people than anywhere at anytime in history. Not to nitpick, but at least some resesarch says that social mobility is higher now in Europe. I also suspect it was higher in the U.S. in the 90's, when there were more social services and education (not to mention health care and housing) cost much less. > There's a reason why America has so many illegal immigrants and so many more that want to come here. Net illegal immigration with Mexico is now negative, at least last I saw (that is, more are returning than entering the U.S.). Also, illegal immigrants often come from places that are much poorer than the United States.
      - WalterBright 11y ago
        > that you just have to work hard. I've tried to make it very clear in this thread that it is not at all about "just working hard". It's about working smart, i.e. making choices. To know the truth about a country, check if there are walls around a country to keep people in, or walls to keep people out.

WalterBright 11y ago

In other countries it may very well be different, but in America people mostly make their own luck. As to working hard, that isn't what counts. It's making the right choices, i.e. working smart. Sure, lots start out with many disadvantages and will have a tougher road. But if you're able-bodied, you do have choices.

hackuser 11y ago
> in America people mostly make their own luck. That's clearly not the case. Off the top of my head, success depends heavily on the neighborhood and family you are born into. Are your parents divorced, in prison, are they alchoholics, do they teach you values and education, do they abuse you, do they rear you at all, can they afford food, electricity, or college? Does the school in your zip code have books the classrooms? Are you going to get shot in the streets, do your friends sell drugs? Is it a wealthy suburban school where 90% go to college, a poor urban one where 90% are literate?
- WalterBright 11y ago
  I expected to be downvoted with that comment. It doesn't fit the usual narrative. But I have some karma to burn, and feel like burning it in a good cause :-) The fact is, if you are able-bodied, you do have choices. I won't repeat what I've posted elsewhere in this thread. I'll just add that in my life I've noticed a consistent pattern. People who take responsibility for their choices do much better than people who always blame others, fate, whatever. And American today has more opportunities for more people than anywhere at anytime in history. There's a reason why America has so many illegal immigrants and so many more that want to come here.
  - hackuser 11y ago
    Walter - I've given you some of that karma by upvoting you many times. It seems like you are the one relying on a 'usual narrative', that you just have to work hard. How do you square that with the data, the outcomes that wealthy kids are so much more successful? How about that they get into college at such higher rates at age 18? Why would poor kids be any lazier than wealthy ones? > And American today has more opportunities for more people than anywhere at anytime in history. Not to nitpick, but at least some resesarch says that social mobility is higher now in Europe. I also suspect it was higher in the U.S. in the 90's, when there were more social services and education (not to mention health care and housing) cost much less. > There's a reason why America has so many illegal immigrants and so many more that want to come here. Net illegal immigration with Mexico is now negative, at least last I saw (that is, more are returning than entering the U.S.). Also, illegal immigrants often come from places that are much poorer than the United States.
    - WalterBright 11y ago
      > that you just have to work hard. I've tried to make it very clear in this thread that it is not at all about "just working hard". It's about working smart, i.e. making choices. To know the truth about a country, check if there are walls around a country to keep people in, or walls to keep people out.