7 ms·

I'm one of those poor kids who got out. My identity project was programming. An friend gave me a an old noisy Pentium II that became my best friend. I spent cou

by init 10y ago

I'm one of those poor kids who got out. My identity project was programming. An friend gave me a an old noisy Pentium II that became my best friend. I spent countless hours, day and night, learning to program. Skipped prom to program, dodged sports in high school, never attended parties. Programming was my identity. I started working before starting college. The prohibitive cost of college made me drop out to focus on my career on the first opportunity I had. My current job as a software engineer pays well. I live a comfortable life and can afford things I never had but my lack of college degree also causes me to have a very bad impostor syndrome. Maybe I should save up enough to go back to college and graduate.

unclebucknasty 10y ago
College doesn't "cure" imposter syndrome. I'm not sure what does.
- JBReefer 10y ago
  Only time, I'd say. My best educated friends have Imposter syndrome the worst.
  - unclebucknasty 10y ago
    I think there's something to that. The more you learn, the more you realize you don't know. You also tend to be exposed to other well-educated people who are specialized in areas you are not.
- eropple 10y ago
  For me, success. I started being much more willing to believe the projection of confidence that I had learned to do in order to sell myself as capable and competent once I realized that I was coming in above the level promised by that projection in the first place. It really is "fake it 'til you make it." But in my experience that does go away, a lot, once you can really say to yourself that you've made it (even just a little).
  - unclebucknasty 10y ago
    But, success is actually a prerequisite for imposter syndrome. It's the haunting feeling that you don't deserve that success and that you will be somehow "discovered". One thing I can relate to though is working really hard for fear of underperforming or proving to be under qualified, only to learn later that others felt I was performing exceedingly well.
    - eropple 10y ago
      Success is a prerequisite, but what I was trying to say is that sustained success--what I use to validate that, no, really, I am walking my talk--can drive it away.
- alexashka 10y ago
  Impostor syndrome is just a specialized example of not understanding your place in the world (being insecure). What cures insecurity is a shift of priorities and worldview - from the unrealistic list of achievements you've been told you need to accomplish (the root of your insecurity syndromes), to doing your own thing, to living your own life. Of course that involves alienating everyone you rely upon for the most part. So not only do you need to be strong enough to stand on your own two feet emotionally, but financially as well. So it's baby-steps to get there, like everything else.
- wallflower 10y ago
  The only cure to imposter syndrome is to help others with their imposter syndrome (e.g. mentoring junior developers to blossom their confidence and skills or teaching underserved populations computational thinking). Once you get it to the next level (e.g. your imposter students mentoring/teaching the next generation), hopefully your imposter mentality will start to exponentially fade.
- eplanit 10y ago
  Exactly. I have a MS degree and am gratefully enjoying an ongoing, successful 25+ year career -- and have wrestled with Imposter Syndrome most every day of it.
steverb 10y ago
Hello younger me. I did go back to college and graduated. It didn't help with the impostor syndrome. It did fill in some gaps in my knowledge and opened a few career doors for me though. It was worth it, but that was due in large part to the fact that I chose to go do the first two years at community college and the last two at an inexpensive regional school. A bit of encouragement, it is totally possible to go to school full-time while working full-time if you really want to. It just means you miss the parties and other social stuff (which I had pretty much aged out of by that point anyway). Keep on hacking brother.
ghufran_syed 10y ago
You should definitely consider the University of London International programme [1]. It's a distance learning course thats totally compatible with working at the same time, costs less than $8000 for the 3-year degree, and UK degrees are usually counted as equivalent to US degrees with regards to employment or further study. I'm just completing my first year of the course now. I've studied at some pretty good schools, including UCLA and London Business School, and I would say the standard of the curriculum at the University of London is high. You're essentially just paying for the curriculum, 2 assignments and a final exam, with only a little bit of learning support, mostly you're on your own in terms of learning, but you have the whole internet available, right? :) That's why it's so cheap, you're not paying for any 'general education' classes, and there are no fancy rec centers or climbing walls :) The final year courses include courses on machine learning, NLP, 'advanced optimization', which I'm looking forward to. If anyone wants more info, feel free to message me. [1] http://www.londoninternational.ac.uk/courses/undergraduate/goldsmiths/bsc-computing-information-systems-bsc-diploma-work-entry-route http://www.londoninternational.ac.uk/courses/undergraduate/g... [Typo edited]
- memonkey 10y ago
  Wow. Thank you so much for sharing. I had no idea something like this existed. As someone who has done online learning in the past (Academy of Art University, Udacity, Coursera), this seems like something right up my alley. $8000/year is extremely reasonable. Some quick questions: Are there any extra fees? How many classes in first/second/third year? Are they separated by semester or quarter? Does this include General Ed? Are there any previous qualifications one needs before applying? EDIT: I answered most of my questions on that page! My only concern is passing the GCE "AS" Level which I can't find too much information on...
  - marknutter 10y ago
    My advice is to not sweat it. If you feel like you need to spend $8000/year to cure your imposter syndrome I have news for you: it won't go away. It has nothing to do with your credentials.
donretag 10y ago
I also have imposter syndrome, but of a different kind. I also grew up poor. The section of NYC that I grew up in still has not experienced gentrification in 2016! Yes, that poor. Five people in two bedroom apartment. Everyone working to make ends meet. Nowadays, I am rich. Perhaps not millionaire rich, but I live very comfortably. I have no need to balance my checkbook. That said, I feel like I do not belong. I should be driving luxury cars and living care free, but I do not. Feel like everything can be taken away from me. What have I done to have all this money?
- burritofanatic 10y ago
  Is it East New York?
  - donretag 10y ago
    I do not say that I lived in a bad neighborhood! :) Then again, everywhere was bad in the '70s and '80s, especially during the crack epidemic. Just a very immigrant community. My family was the token white family on the block (but also immigrants). Not sure if any white people live there now, but there might be a few. By white people, I mean gentrifiers in poorer marginalized neighborhoods. And by gentrification, I mean Starbucks and nannies pushing strollers.
alexashka 10y ago
Impostor syndrome is simply self-awareness - when you know you don't know and feel that you should, it makes you uncomfortable. It's not a matter of schooling - you can fill the gaps just as well on your own - school is an easier, albeit more expensive route.
microcolonel 10y ago
I have had impostor syndrome, but it died pretty quickly. You don't need a degree. I do an excellent job for clients of my company; and I know what I'm worth to them. The many thousands of dollars per week are worth it because I'm the real deal. You are probably not an impostor, you're probably just more valued than you know. And if all of that rationalization fails; you should know that you don't have any obligation to prove that you're worth what you're compensated. That responsibility falls solely on those compensating you.

by init 10y ago

unclebucknasty 10y ago

College doesn't "cure" imposter syndrome. I'm not sure what does.

JBReefer 10y ago
Only time, I'd say. My best educated friends have Imposter syndrome the worst.
- unclebucknasty 10y ago
  I think there's something to that. The more you learn, the more you realize you don't know. You also tend to be exposed to other well-educated people who are specialized in areas you are not.
eropple 10y ago
For me, success. I started being much more willing to believe the projection of confidence that I had learned to do in order to sell myself as capable and competent once I realized that I was coming in above the level promised by that projection in the first place. It really is "fake it 'til you make it." But in my experience that does go away, a lot, once you can really say to yourself that you've made it (even just a little).
- unclebucknasty 10y ago
  But, success is actually a prerequisite for imposter syndrome. It's the haunting feeling that you don't deserve that success and that you will be somehow "discovered". One thing I can relate to though is working really hard for fear of underperforming or proving to be under qualified, only to learn later that others felt I was performing exceedingly well.
  - eropple 10y ago
    Success is a prerequisite, but what I was trying to say is that sustained success--what I use to validate that, no, really, I am walking my talk--can drive it away.
alexashka 10y ago
Impostor syndrome is just a specialized example of not understanding your place in the world (being insecure). What cures insecurity is a shift of priorities and worldview - from the unrealistic list of achievements you've been told you need to accomplish (the root of your insecurity syndromes), to doing your own thing, to living your own life. Of course that involves alienating everyone you rely upon for the most part. So not only do you need to be strong enough to stand on your own two feet emotionally, but financially as well. So it's baby-steps to get there, like everything else.
wallflower 10y ago
The only cure to imposter syndrome is to help others with their imposter syndrome (e.g. mentoring junior developers to blossom their confidence and skills or teaching underserved populations computational thinking). Once you get it to the next level (e.g. your imposter students mentoring/teaching the next generation), hopefully your imposter mentality will start to exponentially fade.
eplanit 10y ago
Exactly. I have a MS degree and am gratefully enjoying an ongoing, successful 25+ year career -- and have wrestled with Imposter Syndrome most every day of it.

steverb 10y ago

Hello younger me. I did go back to college and graduated. It didn't help with the impostor syndrome. It did fill in some gaps in my knowledge and opened a few career doors for me though. It was worth it, but that was due in large part to the fact that I chose to go do the first two years at community college and the last two at an inexpensive regional school. A bit of encouragement, it is totally possible to go to school full-time while working full-time if you really want to. It just means you miss the parties and other social stuff (which I had pretty much aged out of by that point anyway). Keep on hacking brother.

ghufran_syed 10y ago

You should definitely consider the University of London International programme [1]. It's a distance learning course thats totally compatible with working at the same time, costs less than $8000 for the 3-year degree, and UK degrees are usually counted as equivalent to US degrees with regards to employment or further study. I'm just completing my first year of the course now. I've studied at some pretty good schools, including UCLA and London Business School, and I would say the standard of the curriculum at the University of London is high. You're essentially just paying for the curriculum, 2 assignments and a final exam, with only a little bit of learning support, mostly you're on your own in terms of learning, but you have the whole internet available, right? :) That's why it's so cheap, you're not paying for any 'general education' classes, and there are no fancy rec centers or climbing walls :) The final year courses include courses on machine learning, NLP, 'advanced optimization', which I'm looking forward to. If anyone wants more info, feel free to message me. [1] http://www.londoninternational.ac.uk/courses/undergraduate/goldsmiths/bsc-computing-information-systems-bsc-diploma-work-entry-route http://www.londoninternational.ac.uk/courses/undergraduate/g... [Typo edited]

memonkey 10y ago
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing. I had no idea something like this existed. As someone who has done online learning in the past (Academy of Art University, Udacity, Coursera), this seems like something right up my alley. $8000/year is extremely reasonable. Some quick questions: Are there any extra fees? How many classes in first/second/third year? Are they separated by semester or quarter? Does this include General Ed? Are there any previous qualifications one needs before applying? EDIT: I answered most of my questions on that page! My only concern is passing the GCE "AS" Level which I can't find too much information on...
- marknutter 10y ago
  My advice is to not sweat it. If you feel like you need to spend $8000/year to cure your imposter syndrome I have news for you: it won't go away. It has nothing to do with your credentials.

donretag 10y ago

I also have imposter syndrome, but of a different kind. I also grew up poor. The section of NYC that I grew up in still has not experienced gentrification in 2016! Yes, that poor. Five people in two bedroom apartment. Everyone working to make ends meet. Nowadays, I am rich. Perhaps not millionaire rich, but I live very comfortably. I have no need to balance my checkbook. That said, I feel like I do not belong. I should be driving luxury cars and living care free, but I do not. Feel like everything can be taken away from me. What have I done to have all this money?

burritofanatic 10y ago
Is it East New York?
- donretag 10y ago
  I do not say that I lived in a bad neighborhood! :) Then again, everywhere was bad in the '70s and '80s, especially during the crack epidemic. Just a very immigrant community. My family was the token white family on the block (but also immigrants). Not sure if any white people live there now, but there might be a few. By white people, I mean gentrifiers in poorer marginalized neighborhoods. And by gentrification, I mean Starbucks and nannies pushing strollers.

alexashka 10y ago

Impostor syndrome is simply self-awareness - when you know you don't know and feel that you should, it makes you uncomfortable. It's not a matter of schooling - you can fill the gaps just as well on your own - school is an easier, albeit more expensive route.

microcolonel 10y ago

I have had impostor syndrome, but it died pretty quickly. You don't need a degree. I do an excellent job for clients of my company; and I know what I'm worth to them. The many thousands of dollars per week are worth it because I'm the real deal. You are probably not an impostor, you're probably just more valued than you know. And if all of that rationalization fails; you should know that you don't have any obligation to prove that you're worth what you're compensated. That responsibility falls solely on those compensating you.