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Exactly. As a southerner, I have an accent, but I also don't answer important questions fast. IOW, I pause a beat to collect my thoughts. People tend to think t

Exactly. As a southerner, I have an accent, but I also don't answer important questions fast. IOW, I pause a beat to collect my thoughts. People tend to think this too is a sign of "stupid". Really, it's just I don't like to be wrong. I'd rather be slow up front and be right, than fast up front and be wrong. However, our development culture tends to think everything needs to happen as fast as possible (the whole twitter in a weekend meme).

protomyth 11y ago
> IOW, I pause a beat to collect my thoughts. People tend to think this too is a sign of "stupid". A lot of tribes in the US have members that exhibit this same behavior. A respectful pause to consider a response and a slow cadence should be a sign they have considered their words, but instead is portrayed as stupid. It made going to DC and dealing with bureaucrats in the 90's a pain in the butt.
hkmurakami 11y ago
>IOW, I pause a beat to collect my thoughts. People tend to think this too is a sign of "stupid". Really, it's just I don't like to be wrong. I'd rather be slow up front and be right, than fast up front and be wrong. I'm really glad to hear that I'm not alone with this struggle. Still don't have a good answer for it though. :(
- alatkins 11y ago
  Just give it a bit longer... :-P
leoc 11y ago
If it's any consolation, I wish I could pick up that behaviour. Might have saved me a fair bit of unpleasantness.
CuriouslyC 11y ago
Just a useful trick, you can have the best of both worlds if you respond with "well, it depends", play up a dramatic pause, and follow with "on one hand..." and finish with a counter-point. It seems to result in a less argumentative response when people disagree as well.
hueving 11y ago
(impending anecdote) - this is something I noticed when I lived in the south for a while. More people tended to think before they spoke which would result in cleaner, less runny conversations compared to the typical word diarrhea I was accustomed to sifting through growing up in the Northwest. It was actually quite nice to deal with after a short adjustment period for me to discard my knee jerk reaction of assuming the heat fried everyone's brains.

protomyth 11y ago

> IOW, I pause a beat to collect my thoughts. People tend to think this too is a sign of "stupid". A lot of tribes in the US have members that exhibit this same behavior. A respectful pause to consider a response and a slow cadence should be a sign they have considered their words, but instead is portrayed as stupid. It made going to DC and dealing with bureaucrats in the 90's a pain in the butt.

hkmurakami 11y ago

>IOW, I pause a beat to collect my thoughts. People tend to think this too is a sign of "stupid". Really, it's just I don't like to be wrong. I'd rather be slow up front and be right, than fast up front and be wrong. I'm really glad to hear that I'm not alone with this struggle. Still don't have a good answer for it though. :(

alatkins 11y ago
Just give it a bit longer... :-P

leoc 11y ago

If it's any consolation, I wish I could pick up that behaviour. Might have saved me a fair bit of unpleasantness.

CuriouslyC 11y ago

Just a useful trick, you can have the best of both worlds if you respond with "well, it depends", play up a dramatic pause, and follow with "on one hand..." and finish with a counter-point. It seems to result in a less argumentative response when people disagree as well.

hueving 11y ago

(impending anecdote) - this is something I noticed when I lived in the south for a while. More people tended to think before they spoke which would result in cleaner, less runny conversations compared to the typical word diarrhea I was accustomed to sifting through growing up in the Northwest. It was actually quite nice to deal with after a short adjustment period for me to discard my knee jerk reaction of assuming the heat fried everyone's brains.