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What are some smart dating strategies for a straight white male new grad in the Bay Area with 6 digits of disposable income? Dating market seems extremely compe

by zavi 11y ago

What are some smart dating strategies for a straight white male new grad in the Bay Area with 6 digits of disposable income? Dating market seems extremely competitive here.

ryandrake 11y ago
> What are some smart dating strategies for a straight white male new grad in the Bay Area with 6 digits of disposable income? Spend the money on a plane ticket to somewhere with women?
- vinceguidry 11y ago
  I wouldn't recommend this approach. A relationship is built out of time spent physically present with a person, trying to hack this by building a relationship with less time spent before marriage, or by substituting time spent in presence that is not physical, makes for a weak bond that will likely break after a few years of marriage, particularly if one or both of you have poor social skills. I emphasize social skills because, like Vitamin D, the hacker lifestyle leads us to be deficient in such a vital resource. We should be supplementing our lifestyle with lots of activities that force us to interact with other people in ways we're not used to. I've been going to the same bar for the last 8 years. It's often painful, I still don't really fit in, but it's been crucial for helping me develop my sense of self. Another good place to frequent is coffee shops, but good neighborhood coffee shops are quite rare. Starbucks doesn't really do the trick, something about the atmosphere discourages the kinds of spontaneous casual community that you really need to develop social skills.
- jseliger 11y ago
  This is a funny comment, but it's also better advice than it might seem, for reasons Jon Birger describes in Date-onomics: http://jakeseliger.com/2015/09/19/briefly-noted-date-onomics-how-dating-became-a-lopsided-numbers-game-jon-birger/ http://jakeseliger.com/2015/09/19/briefly-noted-date-onomics...
pmalynin 11y ago
As programmers, keepers of the dark arts -- like the monks of the mountains -- we're expected to lead a celibate life. </sarcasm>
vinceguidry 11y ago
In a competitive market, customers become discerning. This means you have to put more time and effort into marketing, R&D and UX testing. Luckily for the intrepid, giving the market something it hasn't seen yet isn't terribly difficult. Develop some social skills. Best place to do this is a bar. As you get good it can double as your dating pool.
eip 11y ago
As long as it is obvious to females that you are straight then dating in the bay is easy. Easier than a lot of other places. Hit the gym and go to shows.
- zavi 11y ago
  What kind of shows?
  - eip 11y ago
    The kind people go to. It doesn't matter. Whatever you like. Or if you don't like that then just walk around the downtown areas of any of the bay cities. Hang out at sidewalk cafes. Go to farmers markets.

by zavi 11y ago

What are some smart dating strategies for a straight white male new grad in the Bay Area with 6 digits of disposable income? Dating market seems extremely competitive here.

ryandrake 11y ago

> What are some smart dating strategies for a straight white male new grad in the Bay Area with 6 digits of disposable income? Spend the money on a plane ticket to somewhere with women?

vinceguidry 11y ago
I wouldn't recommend this approach. A relationship is built out of time spent physically present with a person, trying to hack this by building a relationship with less time spent before marriage, or by substituting time spent in presence that is not physical, makes for a weak bond that will likely break after a few years of marriage, particularly if one or both of you have poor social skills. I emphasize social skills because, like Vitamin D, the hacker lifestyle leads us to be deficient in such a vital resource. We should be supplementing our lifestyle with lots of activities that force us to interact with other people in ways we're not used to. I've been going to the same bar for the last 8 years. It's often painful, I still don't really fit in, but it's been crucial for helping me develop my sense of self. Another good place to frequent is coffee shops, but good neighborhood coffee shops are quite rare. Starbucks doesn't really do the trick, something about the atmosphere discourages the kinds of spontaneous casual community that you really need to develop social skills.
jseliger 11y ago
This is a funny comment, but it's also better advice than it might seem, for reasons Jon Birger describes in Date-onomics: http://jakeseliger.com/2015/09/19/briefly-noted-date-onomics-how-dating-became-a-lopsided-numbers-game-jon-birger/ http://jakeseliger.com/2015/09/19/briefly-noted-date-onomics...

pmalynin 11y ago

As programmers, keepers of the dark arts -- like the monks of the mountains -- we're expected to lead a celibate life. </sarcasm>

vinceguidry 11y ago

In a competitive market, customers become discerning. This means you have to put more time and effort into marketing, R&D and UX testing. Luckily for the intrepid, giving the market something it hasn't seen yet isn't terribly difficult. Develop some social skills. Best place to do this is a bar. As you get good it can double as your dating pool.

eip 11y ago

As long as it is obvious to females that you are straight then dating in the bay is easy. Easier than a lot of other places. Hit the gym and go to shows.

zavi 11y ago
What kind of shows?
- eip 11y ago
  The kind people go to. It doesn't matter. Whatever you like. Or if you don't like that then just walk around the downtown areas of any of the bay cities. Hang out at sidewalk cafes. Go to farmers markets.