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The choice between spending a weekend with the family vs ensuring a critical customer demo happens is an easy choice to make. The harder choice occurs when you

The choice between spending a weekend with the family vs ensuring a critical customer demo happens is an easy choice to make. The harder choice occurs when you don't really have a choice. You are the only member[1] who can feed your infant, who requires food every 1-2 hours (if you're lucky you get 2 hours in between), AND your co-founder is counting on you to do your 1/2 of the work for the demo. [1] In the US, pediatricians recommend only nursing for the first 6 months. That's not something all families can follow, but our family decided to adhere to that recommendation. Further for the first few weeks, pediatricians also recommend not using pacifiers and bottles, so the baby (and mother) can get a solid nursing routine going. This puts a massive constraint on mothers during the first few months of parenthood.

Swizec 11y ago
> [1] In the US, pediatricians recommend only nursing for the first 6 months That's what maternity/paternity leave is supposed to be for. And yes I agree that's hard to do as a founder. Personally I have an incredibly bad track record at taking even a week off and I'm not even a founder per se. That said, there is always a choice. You might not like the options, or the consequences, but there is always a choice. The choice might just be to quit/sell your business and get a job job, if you want more time to spend with your baby. Or it might be to put up your baby for adoption so you can focus fully on the business. There are better choices/options somewhere between the extremes. I have an interesting insight into this through my girlfriend. Soon after she was born, one of the parents essentially skipped town to focus on their business, the other quit their high paying fancy job to focus on the kid. Now one of them is rich, the other has a daughter that adores them.
- balls187 11y ago
  > Now one of them is rich, the other has a daughter that adores them. This is an interesting read: https://www.quora.com/Was-Steve-Jobs-a-good-father-according-to-his-children-If-so-how-was-he-a-good-father https://www.quora.com/Was-Steve-Jobs-a-good-father-according...
  - yarou 11y ago
    Material wealth is only one form of wealth, the least gratifying and the most transient in my opinion. I'd argue that the parent who has a daughter that adores them is the rich one. That being said, the conundrum becomes whether one should give up one's passions and dreams for one's children. You end up with all sorts of sick (IMO) scenarios where parents impose their dreams and goals on their kids and vicariously live through them. That's why I know I will never have children - because if I did, it would mean giving up on my dreams.
- danieldk 11y ago
  That's what maternity/paternity leave is supposed to be for. It doesn't stop after the first 6 months. The first few years, they will get infected by most germs passed around among kids in daycare. If you are unlucky, you get infected too. There are sometimes months (like our last month :p) where they get a cold or stomach flu three or four times in a month. Obviously, when they are sick, you can't bring them to daycare. Your own defences get weakened as well as a result sleep interruptions. So, we typically end up getting somewhat sick half of the time as well. I am happy that we are in Europe, where there is decent sick leave and insurance. (My wife and I both work.)
- wtbob 11y ago
  > > [1] In the US, pediatricians recommend only nursing for the first 6 months > That's what maternity/paternity leave is supposed to be for. And of course choosing to take that leave is choosing to abandon the startup. That's fine; as you note, one always has a choice. But one simply can't have two top priorities — and there are only 24 hours in each day.

Swizec 11y ago

> [1] In the US, pediatricians recommend only nursing for the first 6 months That's what maternity/paternity leave is supposed to be for. And yes I agree that's hard to do as a founder. Personally I have an incredibly bad track record at taking even a week off and I'm not even a founder per se. That said, there is always a choice. You might not like the options, or the consequences, but there is always a choice. The choice might just be to quit/sell your business and get a job job, if you want more time to spend with your baby. Or it might be to put up your baby for adoption so you can focus fully on the business. There are better choices/options somewhere between the extremes. I have an interesting insight into this through my girlfriend. Soon after she was born, one of the parents essentially skipped town to focus on their business, the other quit their high paying fancy job to focus on the kid. Now one of them is rich, the other has a daughter that adores them.

balls187 11y ago
> Now one of them is rich, the other has a daughter that adores them. This is an interesting read: https://www.quora.com/Was-Steve-Jobs-a-good-father-according-to-his-children-If-so-how-was-he-a-good-father https://www.quora.com/Was-Steve-Jobs-a-good-father-according...
- yarou 11y ago
  Material wealth is only one form of wealth, the least gratifying and the most transient in my opinion. I'd argue that the parent who has a daughter that adores them is the rich one. That being said, the conundrum becomes whether one should give up one's passions and dreams for one's children. You end up with all sorts of sick (IMO) scenarios where parents impose their dreams and goals on their kids and vicariously live through them. That's why I know I will never have children - because if I did, it would mean giving up on my dreams.
danieldk 11y ago
That's what maternity/paternity leave is supposed to be for. It doesn't stop after the first 6 months. The first few years, they will get infected by most germs passed around among kids in daycare. If you are unlucky, you get infected too. There are sometimes months (like our last month :p) where they get a cold or stomach flu three or four times in a month. Obviously, when they are sick, you can't bring them to daycare. Your own defences get weakened as well as a result sleep interruptions. So, we typically end up getting somewhat sick half of the time as well. I am happy that we are in Europe, where there is decent sick leave and insurance. (My wife and I both work.)
wtbob 11y ago
> > [1] In the US, pediatricians recommend only nursing for the first 6 months > That's what maternity/paternity leave is supposed to be for. And of course choosing to take that leave is choosing to abandon the startup. That's fine; as you note, one always has a choice. But one simply can't have two top priorities — and there are only 24 hours in each day.