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> It should not be like that. Being free means that you can take care of your kid whenever it needs you. The crux of the issue is that you have two things requ

> It should not be like that. Being free means that you can take care of your kid whenever it needs you. The crux of the issue is that you have two things require an inordinate amount of time and attention, and both of which are very schedule unforgiving. When my infant son is hungry, he has to be fed. Similarly, when I had a very early stage startup, and an important customer demo first thing Monday AM, the work had to get done over the weekend. What happens when you have a conflict between the two priorities?

Swizec 11y ago
> what happens when you have a conflict That's when you find out what/who your real priorities are. Everything else is empty talk. You can always not schedule meetings on Monday AM if doing so means neglecting your priorities. Unless weekends with the fam aren't really a priority? Priorities are tricky like that. They're wholly up to you to make. And yes, not having that meeting on Monday AM might mean losing a client. Is that more important or is weekend with fam more important? That part is up to you.
- balls187 11y ago
  The choice between spending a weekend with the family vs ensuring a critical customer demo happens is an easy choice to make. The harder choice occurs when you don't really have a choice. You are the only member[1] who can feed your infant, who requires food every 1-2 hours (if you're lucky you get 2 hours in between), AND your co-founder is counting on you to do your 1/2 of the work for the demo. [1] In the US, pediatricians recommend only nursing for the first 6 months. That's not something all families can follow, but our family decided to adhere to that recommendation. Further for the first few weeks, pediatricians also recommend not using pacifiers and bottles, so the baby (and mother) can get a solid nursing routine going. This puts a massive constraint on mothers during the first few months of parenthood.
  - Swizec 11y ago
    > [1] In the US, pediatricians recommend only nursing for the first 6 months That's what maternity/paternity leave is supposed to be for. And yes I agree that's hard to do as a founder. Personally I have an incredibly bad track record at taking even a week off and I'm not even a founder per se. That said, there is always a choice. You might not like the options, or the consequences, but there is always a choice. The choice might just be to quit/sell your business and get a job job, if you want more time to spend with your baby. Or it might be to put up your baby for adoption so you can focus fully on the business. There are better choices/options somewhere between the extremes. I have an interesting insight into this through my girlfriend. Soon after she was born, one of the parents essentially skipped town to focus on their business, the other quit their high paying fancy job to focus on the kid. Now one of them is rich, the other has a daughter that adores them.
    - balls187 11y ago
      > Now one of them is rich, the other has a daughter that adores them. This is an interesting read: https://www.quora.com/Was-Steve-Jobs-a-good-father-according-to-his-children-If-so-how-was-he-a-good-father https://www.quora.com/Was-Steve-Jobs-a-good-father-according...
      - yarou 11y ago
        Material wealth is only one form of wealth, the least gratifying and the most transient in my opinion. I'd argue that the parent who has a daughter that adores them is the rich one. That being said, the conundrum becomes whether one should give up one's passions and dreams for one's children. You end up with all sorts of sick (IMO) scenarios where parents impose their dreams and goals on their kids and vicariously live through them. That's why I know I will never have children - because if I did, it would mean giving up on my dreams.
    - danieldk 11y ago
      That's what maternity/paternity leave is supposed to be for. It doesn't stop after the first 6 months. The first few years, they will get infected by most germs passed around among kids in daycare. If you are unlucky, you get infected too. There are sometimes months (like our last month :p) where they get a cold or stomach flu three or four times in a month. Obviously, when they are sick, you can't bring them to daycare. Your own defences get weakened as well as a result sleep interruptions. So, we typically end up getting somewhat sick half of the time as well. I am happy that we are in Europe, where there is decent sick leave and insurance. (My wife and I both work.)
st3v3r 11y ago
Don't schedule meetings on Monday AM. Why on earth would you do that? Give yourself a day of work to be able to polish up the demo.
- balls187 11y ago
  > Why on earth would you do that? You tapped your investor to get a meeting scheduled with Apple in order to convince them to use your data in their map application. Apple gives you a time, and lets you know Jobs will be in this meeting[1]. How bad do you want success? [1] If this seems contrived situation, it actually happened. Former US VP Al Gore, a partner with one of our investors, was on the board of Apple and arranged the meeting. When the team went to present to Apple, they found out Steve Jobs wouldn't be able to attend the meeting. We later found out that he was in the hospital, and sadly, he eventually passed on.
  - outericky 11y ago
    Work throws curveballs all the time. Working weekends because of a Monday deadline isn't reserved just for startups. It happens.
    - balls187 11y ago
      Exactly. And sometimes those curve balls (like a critical Monday AM deadline) isn't in your control.
  - st3v3r 11y ago
    It is a contrived situation. 99.99999999999999% of times, this will not apply. And saying that you're going to have to be prepared in case it will is just silly.
    - deleted 11y ago
      [deleted]

Swizec 11y ago

> what happens when you have a conflict That's when you find out what/who your real priorities are. Everything else is empty talk. You can always not schedule meetings on Monday AM if doing so means neglecting your priorities. Unless weekends with the fam aren't really a priority? Priorities are tricky like that. They're wholly up to you to make. And yes, not having that meeting on Monday AM might mean losing a client. Is that more important or is weekend with fam more important? That part is up to you.

balls187 11y ago
The choice between spending a weekend with the family vs ensuring a critical customer demo happens is an easy choice to make. The harder choice occurs when you don't really have a choice. You are the only member[1] who can feed your infant, who requires food every 1-2 hours (if you're lucky you get 2 hours in between), AND your co-founder is counting on you to do your 1/2 of the work for the demo. [1] In the US, pediatricians recommend only nursing for the first 6 months. That's not something all families can follow, but our family decided to adhere to that recommendation. Further for the first few weeks, pediatricians also recommend not using pacifiers and bottles, so the baby (and mother) can get a solid nursing routine going. This puts a massive constraint on mothers during the first few months of parenthood.
- Swizec 11y ago
  > [1] In the US, pediatricians recommend only nursing for the first 6 months That's what maternity/paternity leave is supposed to be for. And yes I agree that's hard to do as a founder. Personally I have an incredibly bad track record at taking even a week off and I'm not even a founder per se. That said, there is always a choice. You might not like the options, or the consequences, but there is always a choice. The choice might just be to quit/sell your business and get a job job, if you want more time to spend with your baby. Or it might be to put up your baby for adoption so you can focus fully on the business. There are better choices/options somewhere between the extremes. I have an interesting insight into this through my girlfriend. Soon after she was born, one of the parents essentially skipped town to focus on their business, the other quit their high paying fancy job to focus on the kid. Now one of them is rich, the other has a daughter that adores them.
  - balls187 11y ago
    > Now one of them is rich, the other has a daughter that adores them. This is an interesting read: https://www.quora.com/Was-Steve-Jobs-a-good-father-according-to-his-children-If-so-how-was-he-a-good-father https://www.quora.com/Was-Steve-Jobs-a-good-father-according...
    - yarou 11y ago
      Material wealth is only one form of wealth, the least gratifying and the most transient in my opinion. I'd argue that the parent who has a daughter that adores them is the rich one. That being said, the conundrum becomes whether one should give up one's passions and dreams for one's children. You end up with all sorts of sick (IMO) scenarios where parents impose their dreams and goals on their kids and vicariously live through them. That's why I know I will never have children - because if I did, it would mean giving up on my dreams.
  - danieldk 11y ago
    That's what maternity/paternity leave is supposed to be for. It doesn't stop after the first 6 months. The first few years, they will get infected by most germs passed around among kids in daycare. If you are unlucky, you get infected too. There are sometimes months (like our last month :p) where they get a cold or stomach flu three or four times in a month. Obviously, when they are sick, you can't bring them to daycare. Your own defences get weakened as well as a result sleep interruptions. So, we typically end up getting somewhat sick half of the time as well. I am happy that we are in Europe, where there is decent sick leave and insurance. (My wife and I both work.)

st3v3r 11y ago

Don't schedule meetings on Monday AM. Why on earth would you do that? Give yourself a day of work to be able to polish up the demo.

balls187 11y ago
> Why on earth would you do that? You tapped your investor to get a meeting scheduled with Apple in order to convince them to use your data in their map application. Apple gives you a time, and lets you know Jobs will be in this meeting[1]. How bad do you want success? [1] If this seems contrived situation, it actually happened. Former US VP Al Gore, a partner with one of our investors, was on the board of Apple and arranged the meeting. When the team went to present to Apple, they found out Steve Jobs wouldn't be able to attend the meeting. We later found out that he was in the hospital, and sadly, he eventually passed on.
- outericky 11y ago
  Work throws curveballs all the time. Working weekends because of a Monday deadline isn't reserved just for startups. It happens.
  - balls187 11y ago
    Exactly. And sometimes those curve balls (like a critical Monday AM deadline) isn't in your control.
- st3v3r 11y ago
  It is a contrived situation. 99.99999999999999% of times, this will not apply. And saying that you're going to have to be prepared in case it will is just silly.
  - deleted 11y ago
    [deleted]