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"under the same circumstances, I know I _wouldn't_ treat others the same way I was treated back then" I wouldn't dare to make that claim. Every situation is di

"under the same circumstances, I know I _wouldn't_ treat others the same way I was treated back then" I wouldn't dare to make that claim. Every situation is different and also everyone's mood varies from day to day. It is very difficult to be that nice guy all the time.

bakeryOnMain 11y ago
It should not be difficult to be a nice person all the time. We are building software, and/or managing a product/team. It's a communal effort that requires empathy, kindness, and love. If you are one of the few who can't love your fellow coworker/subordinate/boss then you are toxic. Unfortunately, bullies existed on the playground and they exist in the software industry too.
- aninhumer 11y ago
  > It should not be difficult to be a nice person all the time. There's a huge difference between most of the time and all of the time. I'm a strong advocate of empathy in the workplace, but part of that is recognising that sometimes people are just in a bad mood. Someone who snaps at you because they're really stressed that day is in no way a bully.
  - lbn 11y ago
    If you snap at someone because you are having a bad day you should apologise to that person or at least clarify that it's not personal. Having a bad day is not an excuse to be rude to someone, especially if they are not aware of that.
  - awinder 11y ago
    What do you do when you're in a bad mood and you blow up on someone? You apologize the next day / whenever you calm down. And then that out-of-character event doesn't end up being someone's lasting impression of you.
  - spdionis 11y ago
    As always, the last 5% is the hardest part.
- engi_nerd 11y ago
  > It should not be difficult to be a nice person all the time. I agree, it shouldn't be difficult, but some people seem to go out of their way to make it difficult.
eropple 11y ago
It may be difficult to always be nice. But what should never be difficult is being humane, and if it is there are deeper concerns to deal with.
tamana 11y ago
To put it differently: if you interviewed those people from the blog post, would they say that they do the things described in this article? Likely not!

bakeryOnMain 11y ago

It should not be difficult to be a nice person all the time. We are building software, and/or managing a product/team. It's a communal effort that requires empathy, kindness, and love. If you are one of the few who can't love your fellow coworker/subordinate/boss then you are toxic. Unfortunately, bullies existed on the playground and they exist in the software industry too.

aninhumer 11y ago
> It should not be difficult to be a nice person all the time. There's a huge difference between most of the time and all of the time. I'm a strong advocate of empathy in the workplace, but part of that is recognising that sometimes people are just in a bad mood. Someone who snaps at you because they're really stressed that day is in no way a bully.
- lbn 11y ago
  If you snap at someone because you are having a bad day you should apologise to that person or at least clarify that it's not personal. Having a bad day is not an excuse to be rude to someone, especially if they are not aware of that.
- awinder 11y ago
  What do you do when you're in a bad mood and you blow up on someone? You apologize the next day / whenever you calm down. And then that out-of-character event doesn't end up being someone's lasting impression of you.
- spdionis 11y ago
  As always, the last 5% is the hardest part.
engi_nerd 11y ago
> It should not be difficult to be a nice person all the time. I agree, it shouldn't be difficult, but some people seem to go out of their way to make it difficult.

eropple 11y ago

It may be difficult to always be nice. But what should never be difficult is being humane, and if it is there are deeper concerns to deal with.

tamana 11y ago

To put it differently: if you interviewed those people from the blog post, would they say that they do the things described in this article? Likely not!