Having given it considerable thought, I have come to the conclusion that I will use words like that in academic or quotational contexts, but only if I'm with co

Having given it considerable thought, I have come to the conclusion that I will use words like that in academic or quotational contexts, but only if I'm with company who will understand my intentions and not be offended. Although I value clarity and the ability to have thoughtful, dispassionate discussion of sensitive topics, I do not want to be an asshole, nor do I want to give the impression that I think casual usage of these terms is acceptable. Some would say that I have no right to use these terms at all, but I don't feel this is reasonable (though I won't argue this point or attempt to use such words in front of those who hold this view). The primary reason not to use these words is to avoid inflicting pain and perpetuating intolerance, but if my wife and I are having a private discussion about, say, homophobia, and I recant a story that involves the quotation of a slur, I am hurting no one and perpetuating nothing. I would personally have elected not to use it in this case given the wide audience, but I understand that the context was not hateful and it was being used to illuminate a real situation and promote discussion. Just my opinion, not a permission slip obviously.