6 ms·

Just a counterpoint: I would be incredibly annoyed if my manager suddenly wanted to start talking to me for 30 minutes a day. I much prefer the hands-off, stay-

by nwjtkjn 11y ago

Just a counterpoint: I would be incredibly annoyed if my manager suddenly wanted to start talking to me for 30 minutes a day. I much prefer the hands-off, stay-out-my-way-and-let-me-do-my-job approach, which thankfully is exactly what my current manager does.

danieltillett 11y ago
You would be surprised. If your manager actually did devote 30 minutes per day one-on-one giving you their full attention you might find you like it. I have yet to find a single person who didn’t like it - once you have a manager that cares about you as a person and your work most love it. It has to be real of course - not “we have 30 minutes to fill what do you want to talk about”.
- ams6110 11y ago
  I can guarantee you I would hate it. Guarantee. Unless the manager was also a friend, but that usually isn't the case (nor should it be).
  - danieltillett 11y ago
    If your manager really cares about you they will become a friend. I am sure there are some people that won’t respond to genuine one-on-one time, but I have yet to come across any.
    - zzzcpan 11y ago
      > I have yet to come across any And you won't. No one is ever going to be real and honest with their manager or with anyone in a position of power over them.
      - danieltillett 11y ago
        It is very hard to maintain a false front when you spend a lot of time with someone who is paying you their full attention. Some people can pull it off, but not many. Even if your reports don't like all the attention, as a manager you become a better manager as you understand your reports better and they understand you better.
        cmdrfred 11y ago
        > It is very hard to maintain a false front when you spend a lot of time with someone who is paying you their full attention. Some people can pull it off, but not many. I don't find that difficult at all. That's what work is, you become a person who can find into the machine. I think you are overestimating your abilities.
        danieltillett 11y ago
        You might be overestimating your abilities to hide your true feelings :) As a manager you might know a report does not like you and is being two faced, but you won’t do anything about it unless it is affecting performance.
        jacalata 11y ago
        Well, it sounds like you've never come across one you recognised as doing that, so how can you be sure you'd spot it?
        danieltillett 11y ago
        I have come across plenty of two faced people, just nobody who has not appreciated high quality one-on-one time. Even when they didn't like me they still got a lot out of it.
        cmdrfred 11y ago
        It's not a matter of 'two-faced', I just have a private life. Paying me a wage does not entitle you to my personal thoughts and activities out of work hours. Human beings will have many 'faces' perhaps you have one for your family, another for your wife, another for your workplace. I'd hate to be such a one dimensional person and have that not be true.
      - Panoramix 11y ago
        Plenty of people are honest every day. It's possible unless you work in a toxic environment.
    - ACow_Adonis 11y ago
      I've come across many (most?) managers who believe such are incapable of hearing a contrasting/contradictory message or recognising anyone who isn't responsive to more one-on-one time. Now, i'm not saying that more one-on-one time isn't helpful with many employees. Nor am I saying that your experience isn't true. But given that its in direct opposition to my own experience, i'm guessing its either a low-probability thing, that we're in different jobs/fields, different cultures, that some of your staff are either shutting up and bearing it just to get a paycheck, or the ones that disagree with you have quit/resigned/gotten another job/transferred.
      - danieltillett 11y ago
        We are all limited by our experiences and I am only talking about mine. My experience is that spending significant time with employees one-on-one is critical to being a good manager, but I am sure others have had different experiences.
- nwjtkjn 11y ago
  I just don't understand what I'm supposed to get out of it. 30 minutes a week is plenty for me and we usually run out of stuff to talk about anyway. What if I have no issues with coworkers, I'm not burnt out, and I like my projects? Here's where I think it cause problems: right now, if I feel like working from home on a given day, and I have no meetings, I just do it. If I was supposed to meet with my manager every single day, then now it's like I'm cancelling that meeting, so now I'm self-conscious that he thinks I'm slacking, and I would probably just not bother and drag myself in every day. Boom, reduced morale.
  - danieltillett 11y ago
    I suggested 30 minutes per day averaged over the week, not 30 minutes per day. If you were at home one day it would not be an issue. You might need a whole day on occasion and nothing for a few weeks.
  - jschwartzi 11y ago
    It's mostly about them checking up on you. Sometimes it can be hard to see that you're blocked or that you don't have a complete spec unless you mention it in conversation. The best managers I've had would just show up at your desk either at the start or end of the day and ask about how it's going. The worst ones show up at my desk and ask what I'm working on.
- tome 11y ago
  When I read your first comment I thought you meant 30 minutes pay day (average) across the whole team (which seems reasonable) but now it seems you do mean 30 minutes pay day (average) per employee (which seems a lot). Is the second actually correct?
  - danieltillett 11y ago
    Per employees per day (on average). This is not time spent in formal meetings of course, but time where you are paying attention to the person and engaged in quality one-on-one conversation.
    - tome 11y ago
      Interesting. That does sound like a lot to me! I've never had anything close to that from my managers. Good to know your point of view, thanks.
      - danieltillett 11y ago
        It is rare and I have never personally experienced anything like this as an employee.
angersock 11y ago
30 minutes over 6 hours is 5/min, hour. That's basically shooting the shit during coffee/pomodoro/eye-strain breaks.
maxxxxx 11y ago
I think this works if it's not a formal one-on-one but a conversation that actually shows interest. I talk to my manager more than 30 minutes a day but it's about real issues. I also had managers scheduling a weekly 30 minute one-on-one meeting which was really annoying because often there was not really anything to say at the moment or the situation had already been resolved.
- danieltillett 11y ago
  Exactly right. These meetings should be real and organic. Anything scheduled into someone’s diary is unlikely to be either of these.
- cableshaft 11y ago
  At my current job, we have a daily 15 minute morning team "stand up" meeting (we don't actually stand up) where I say what I've been doing and share any issues/ask quick questions I have with my manager, but otherwise I don't interact with him unless I have questions or we happen to be in another meeting together. He's often in meetings the majority of the day (or doing code reviews, or writing up tasks), so the onus is more on me not to bother him too much unless I really need to. That seems to work out pretty well. I've also been the project lead on several projects for a couple of previous companies, and except for priority, design, or time estimate meetings (usually one or two a week), I left them alone almost completely, and simply worked on development tasks unless they came to me with questions. Some days there'd be enough questions at random intervals that I couldn't ever get into the flow of things and didn't get much coding done on my own, and some days there'd be no questions and I'd get a ton of coding done. One time the boss brought me into his office to say how well he thought I was doing as project lead, and I was like "Really? I kind of just let them work." And he said "Maybe that's why you're good. You know how to leave them alone."
  - danieltillett 11y ago
    Being hands off works fine when the team is working well and the goal is clear. The problem becomes when the proverbial hits the fan and you suddenly realise you have no real idea what your team members think, who likes who, what their likes and dislikes are, and what their skills are outside of your recent history. The only way to learn all this is to spend time with people getting to know them and them getting to know you so they trust you when you need their support.

by nwjtkjn 11y ago

danieltillett 11y ago

You would be surprised. If your manager actually did devote 30 minutes per day one-on-one giving you their full attention you might find you like it. I have yet to find a single person who didn’t like it - once you have a manager that cares about you as a person and your work most love it. It has to be real of course - not “we have 30 minutes to fill what do you want to talk about”.

ams6110 11y ago
I can guarantee you I would hate it. Guarantee. Unless the manager was also a friend, but that usually isn't the case (nor should it be).
- danieltillett 11y ago
  If your manager really cares about you they will become a friend. I am sure there are some people that won’t respond to genuine one-on-one time, but I have yet to come across any.
  - zzzcpan 11y ago
    > I have yet to come across any And you won't. No one is ever going to be real and honest with their manager or with anyone in a position of power over them.
    - danieltillett 11y ago
      It is very hard to maintain a false front when you spend a lot of time with someone who is paying you their full attention. Some people can pull it off, but not many. Even if your reports don't like all the attention, as a manager you become a better manager as you understand your reports better and they understand you better.
      - cmdrfred 11y ago
        > It is very hard to maintain a false front when you spend a lot of time with someone who is paying you their full attention. Some people can pull it off, but not many. I don't find that difficult at all. That's what work is, you become a person who can find into the machine. I think you are overestimating your abilities.
        danieltillett 11y ago
        You might be overestimating your abilities to hide your true feelings :) As a manager you might know a report does not like you and is being two faced, but you won’t do anything about it unless it is affecting performance.
        jacalata 11y ago
        Well, it sounds like you've never come across one you recognised as doing that, so how can you be sure you'd spot it?
        danieltillett 11y ago
        I have come across plenty of two faced people, just nobody who has not appreciated high quality one-on-one time. Even when they didn't like me they still got a lot out of it.
        cmdrfred 11y ago
        It's not a matter of 'two-faced', I just have a private life. Paying me a wage does not entitle you to my personal thoughts and activities out of work hours. Human beings will have many 'faces' perhaps you have one for your family, another for your wife, another for your workplace. I'd hate to be such a one dimensional person and have that not be true.
    - Panoramix 11y ago
      Plenty of people are honest every day. It's possible unless you work in a toxic environment.
  - ACow_Adonis 11y ago
    I've come across many (most?) managers who believe such are incapable of hearing a contrasting/contradictory message or recognising anyone who isn't responsive to more one-on-one time. Now, i'm not saying that more one-on-one time isn't helpful with many employees. Nor am I saying that your experience isn't true. But given that its in direct opposition to my own experience, i'm guessing its either a low-probability thing, that we're in different jobs/fields, different cultures, that some of your staff are either shutting up and bearing it just to get a paycheck, or the ones that disagree with you have quit/resigned/gotten another job/transferred.
    - danieltillett 11y ago
      We are all limited by our experiences and I am only talking about mine. My experience is that spending significant time with employees one-on-one is critical to being a good manager, but I am sure others have had different experiences.
nwjtkjn 11y ago
I just don't understand what I'm supposed to get out of it. 30 minutes a week is plenty for me and we usually run out of stuff to talk about anyway. What if I have no issues with coworkers, I'm not burnt out, and I like my projects? Here's where I think it cause problems: right now, if I feel like working from home on a given day, and I have no meetings, I just do it. If I was supposed to meet with my manager every single day, then now it's like I'm cancelling that meeting, so now I'm self-conscious that he thinks I'm slacking, and I would probably just not bother and drag myself in every day. Boom, reduced morale.
- danieltillett 11y ago
  I suggested 30 minutes per day averaged over the week, not 30 minutes per day. If you were at home one day it would not be an issue. You might need a whole day on occasion and nothing for a few weeks.
- jschwartzi 11y ago
  It's mostly about them checking up on you. Sometimes it can be hard to see that you're blocked or that you don't have a complete spec unless you mention it in conversation. The best managers I've had would just show up at your desk either at the start or end of the day and ask about how it's going. The worst ones show up at my desk and ask what I'm working on.
tome 11y ago
When I read your first comment I thought you meant 30 minutes pay day (average) across the whole team (which seems reasonable) but now it seems you do mean 30 minutes pay day (average) per employee (which seems a lot). Is the second actually correct?
- danieltillett 11y ago
  Per employees per day (on average). This is not time spent in formal meetings of course, but time where you are paying attention to the person and engaged in quality one-on-one conversation.
  - tome 11y ago
    Interesting. That does sound like a lot to me! I've never had anything close to that from my managers. Good to know your point of view, thanks.
    - danieltillett 11y ago
      It is rare and I have never personally experienced anything like this as an employee.

angersock 11y ago

30 minutes over 6 hours is 5/min, hour. That's basically shooting the shit during coffee/pomodoro/eye-strain breaks.

maxxxxx 11y ago

I think this works if it's not a formal one-on-one but a conversation that actually shows interest. I talk to my manager more than 30 minutes a day but it's about real issues. I also had managers scheduling a weekly 30 minute one-on-one meeting which was really annoying because often there was not really anything to say at the moment or the situation had already been resolved.

danieltillett 11y ago
Exactly right. These meetings should be real and organic. Anything scheduled into someone’s diary is unlikely to be either of these.
cableshaft 11y ago
At my current job, we have a daily 15 minute morning team "stand up" meeting (we don't actually stand up) where I say what I've been doing and share any issues/ask quick questions I have with my manager, but otherwise I don't interact with him unless I have questions or we happen to be in another meeting together. He's often in meetings the majority of the day (or doing code reviews, or writing up tasks), so the onus is more on me not to bother him too much unless I really need to. That seems to work out pretty well. I've also been the project lead on several projects for a couple of previous companies, and except for priority, design, or time estimate meetings (usually one or two a week), I left them alone almost completely, and simply worked on development tasks unless they came to me with questions. Some days there'd be enough questions at random intervals that I couldn't ever get into the flow of things and didn't get much coding done on my own, and some days there'd be no questions and I'd get a ton of coding done. One time the boss brought me into his office to say how well he thought I was doing as project lead, and I was like "Really? I kind of just let them work." And he said "Maybe that's why you're good. You know how to leave them alone."
- danieltillett 11y ago
  Being hands off works fine when the team is working well and the goal is clear. The problem becomes when the proverbial hits the fan and you suddenly realise you have no real idea what your team members think, who likes who, what their likes and dislikes are, and what their skills are outside of your recent history. The only way to learn all this is to spend time with people getting to know them and them getting to know you so they trust you when you need their support.