I think civility is how we react to things that are different from us. In resolving conflict, we can bomb the shit out of each other, or we can greet our enemy

I think civility is how we react to things that are different from us. In resolving conflict, we can bomb the shit out of each other, or we can greet our enemy with political statements. Both are painful but dead is an absorbing state, as long as you are alive, you can whine, rant or smile etc. Once you are dead, it's irrevokable. Hence bombing is less civil on that ground.