4 ms·

Ask HN: Who wants to be fired? (April 2016)

117 points by rubiquity 11y ago

Share your information if you hate your job. Please use this format: How much of a jerk is your boss? (0-10) How chaotic is your environment? (0-10) What have you done that is illegal or unethical that can be used as grounds for firing you? What are you currently doing? What would you like to do instead? Readers: Please only fire people that are direct reports of yours.

falcolas 11y ago
How much of a jerk is your boss? 3 - His hair isn't pointy quite yet. How chaotic is your environment? 9 - not quite total anarchy, we have release processes after all! What have you done that is illegal or unethical that can be used as grounds for firing you? Using the internet for non-work purposes. All of those potentially useful bytes wasted. What are you currently doing? Responding to a HN thread. What would you like to do instead? Respond to an HN thread from a comfy chair.
terrywilcox 11y ago
I don't want to be fired. I want to be downsized with a large compensation package.
- rubiquity 11y ago
  Sorry. You'll have to wait another year for Ask HN: Who Wants To Be Downsized With a Large Compensation Package?
tyingq 11y ago
I'm just happy that your rating scale has 11 increments. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/06/Spinal_Tap_-_Up_to_Eleven.jpg https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/06/Spinal_Tap_-_... (or is 0-10 base 2?)
- rubiquity 11y ago
  I aim to please.
laumars 11y ago
> How much of a jerk is your boss? (0-10) 01 - we're pretty good friends. > How chaotic is your environment? (0-10) 10 - This isn't anything that the CEO wouldn't say himself > What have you done that is illegal or unethical that can be used as grounds for firing you? Imposing double standards - defining strict rules about internet usage while still using the company's bandwidth for my own nefarious purposes. > What are you currently doing? Leaving nefarious remarks on HN > What would you like to do instead? Being home getting nefarious with my wife ;)
acconrad 11y ago
>How much of a jerk is your boss? (0-10) e^pi >How chaotic is your environment? (0-10) 10+i10 >What have you done that is illegal or unethical that can be used as grounds for firing you? I used an iPhone once, apparently that's grounds for FBI investigation >What are you currently doing? Typing this sentence. >What would you like to do instead? Eating the Indian food on my desk.
franze 11y ago
>How chaotic is your environment? (0-10) - 0 - a sterile place where no life is allowed and thoughts are sent to die >How much of a jerk is your boss? (0-10) 10 - I'm the boss
OWaz 11y ago
How much of a jerk is your boss? - of the 7 bosses I have they combine for a low score of 2. All are nice people. How chaotic is your environment? 10 - Agile doesn't mean 6 week waterfall sprints. Unit tests aren't something you do manually and infrequently. What have you done that is illegal or unethical that can be used as grounds for firing you? Everyday I stay past 6:00pm but I'm only allowed to be on the property till 6:00pm. What are you currently doing? Waiting for an IBM source control tool to finish doing something. What would you like to do instead? Learning Erlang & Elixir
smilesnd 11y ago
How much of a jerk is your boss? (0-10) 0 I have yet to meet my boss. How chaotic is your environment? (0-10) 10 No one knows whats going on or if they do it is different for each person. What have you done that is illegal or unethical that can be used as grounds for firing you? I took home a notebook What are you currently doing? Reading random articles on the internet since I haven't had work to do for the pass 2 months. What would you like to do instead? Coding up a video game in C++

117 points by rubiquity 11y ago

falcolas 11y ago

How much of a jerk is your boss? 3 - His hair isn't pointy quite yet. How chaotic is your environment? 9 - not quite total anarchy, we have release processes after all! What have you done that is illegal or unethical that can be used as grounds for firing you? Using the internet for non-work purposes. All of those potentially useful bytes wasted. What are you currently doing? Responding to a HN thread. What would you like to do instead? Respond to an HN thread from a comfy chair.

terrywilcox 11y ago

I don't want to be fired. I want to be downsized with a large compensation package.

rubiquity 11y ago
Sorry. You'll have to wait another year for Ask HN: Who Wants To Be Downsized With a Large Compensation Package?

tyingq 11y ago

I'm just happy that your rating scale has 11 increments. https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/06/Spinal_Tap_-_Up_to_Eleven.jpg https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/06/Spinal_Tap_-_... (or is 0-10 base 2?)

rubiquity 11y ago
I aim to please.

laumars 11y ago

> How much of a jerk is your boss? (0-10) 01 - we're pretty good friends. > How chaotic is your environment? (0-10) 10 - This isn't anything that the CEO wouldn't say himself > What have you done that is illegal or unethical that can be used as grounds for firing you? Imposing double standards - defining strict rules about internet usage while still using the company's bandwidth for my own nefarious purposes. > What are you currently doing? Leaving nefarious remarks on HN > What would you like to do instead? Being home getting nefarious with my wife ;)

acconrad 11y ago

>How much of a jerk is your boss? (0-10) e^pi >How chaotic is your environment? (0-10) 10+i10 >What have you done that is illegal or unethical that can be used as grounds for firing you? I used an iPhone once, apparently that's grounds for FBI investigation >What are you currently doing? Typing this sentence. >What would you like to do instead? Eating the Indian food on my desk.

franze 11y ago

>How chaotic is your environment? (0-10) - 0 - a sterile place where no life is allowed and thoughts are sent to die >How much of a jerk is your boss? (0-10) 10 - I'm the boss

OWaz 11y ago

How much of a jerk is your boss? - of the 7 bosses I have they combine for a low score of 2. All are nice people. How chaotic is your environment? 10 - Agile doesn't mean 6 week waterfall sprints. Unit tests aren't something you do manually and infrequently. What have you done that is illegal or unethical that can be used as grounds for firing you? Everyday I stay past 6:00pm but I'm only allowed to be on the property till 6:00pm. What are you currently doing? Waiting for an IBM source control tool to finish doing something. What would you like to do instead? Learning Erlang & Elixir

smilesnd 11y ago

How much of a jerk is your boss? (0-10) 0 I have yet to meet my boss. How chaotic is your environment? (0-10) 10 No one knows whats going on or if they do it is different for each person. What have you done that is illegal or unethical that can be used as grounds for firing you? I took home a notebook What are you currently doing? Reading random articles on the internet since I haven't had work to do for the pass 2 months. What would you like to do instead? Coding up a video game in C++