Every time I hear "What if I told you...," I can't help thinking of that pathetic old-timey producer character on Entourage who was always asking, "What if I to

Every time I hear "What if I told you...," I can't help thinking of that pathetic old-timey producer character on Entourage who was always asking, "What if I told you [XYZ]? Is that something you might be interested in?" Now, psychologically speaking, "What if I told you [I could solve your problem]" is the correct sort or narrative structure to use in many pitches. But rarely do you want to use that exact phrasing. It can read as cheesy.