...parents that say to a successful child, "Wow, you're so smart" undermine that child's ability to muscle through tougher challenges later on in life. This be

...parents that say to a successful child, "Wow, you're so smart" undermine that child's ability to muscle through tougher challenges later on in life. This bears repeating. This kind of thinking (the "self-esteem movement") was extremely popular in school systems in the late 80s and much of the 90s, when someone born in 1982[1] would have been in school. This kind of "I'm not living up to my abilities" panic is common as a result. It conditioned smart kids into thinking they succeeded because they had a special power, so when that power fails to deliver the results they desire, many have problems.[2] I say "they", but I myself spent some of my early 20s thinking I had somehow damaged my brain at some point, and did a lot of fretting about how I needed to find out the "trick" to getting back to the level of success I felt a person of my talents was capable of. And I know I'm not the only one here. The truth is there is no trick. You just do stuff. You get more of it done if you actually care[3] and if it's stuff worth doing, but beyond that it's just tactics and micro-optimizations. You learn what works for you, and more importantly what doesn't, but it always comes back to actually cranking whatever widget needs cranking. Only then do you get to exercise your talent and intelligence. [1]: I assume the date in "kksm19820117" is a birthdate. [2]: These days they call that power "Adderall", but that's another story. [3]: We all have projects that we start because we think we should care, but that don't get done because we don't actually care. Drop them when you spot them. There's no shame in that. You'll free up your attention for the stuff you do care about.