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I think the "not giving a damn" statement belies that you do actually care. Like someone saying "I don't care" implies... yes, you do care, otherwise you would

by bcook 11y ago

I think the "not giving a damn" statement belies that you do actually care. Like someone saying "I don't care" implies... yes, you do care, otherwise you would not state such a thing.

lostcolony 11y ago
Being a bit pedantic there aren't you? Sure, if I wasn't interested, I wouldn't be interviewing. But recognizing that the interview's outcome doesn't reflect who I am, nor does it mean 'my life is over and I'll never get a job I like', or any of the other anxieties common to those first few job hunts, means I am not so invested in -succeeding-, and far more invested in just scoping the company out, seeing if this would be a good fit, and accepting a "no" as in no way a reflection of my quality. Obviously, "not giving a damn" is hyperbole; as I said, if I really didn't give a damn I'd not be interviewing in the first place. But it is the most accurate description of the attitude I find myself having when interviewing. "Toughening it out" was what I did as a college student and junior dev, trying to fight the impostor syndrome as I try to convince strangers I'm worth hiring, and trying to hold down the feelings of depression and self-loathing afterwards as I criticized every single thing I did that I thought was a mistake in the interview (even successful ones that in hindsight I realize I absolutely aced), and tried not to think about how I just blew my chance at a dream job (because every company that I talked with was a dream job, after all; someone who would actually -pay- me to write code and solve problems!) I instead describe my current attitude as "not giving a damn" to demarcate it as very much different than that prior experience; my feelings now are "I am good, I know a lot, I learn fast, and I have a track record to prove it, and if you say no it means either you want someone with different experiences who is looking for something very different than what I am, or you've been interviewing for (and thus hiring for) the wrong thing; in either case I don't think I'd enjoy it here. So, while I hope this works out in the affirmative...I will view a 'no' from you as a positive as well, because it tells me more about you than it does about me. Regardless of your response, I am relieved to hear it, hence, I don't give a damn what it is".
- bcook 11y ago
  I think I offended you. That was not my intent. Focus on what is important. I am very likely a pedant, yet you waste all that text replying to me... Why? (Please do not respond to this post. I have no academic input to share. I only wonder why you even care...) Edit: Is it acceptable to accomplish less than the average? (In my limited experience, "no" is the answer.)
dagss 11y ago
Did you notice that this thread is about mental strategies?

by bcook 11y ago

I think the "not giving a damn" statement belies that you do actually care. Like someone saying "I don't care" implies... yes, you do care, otherwise you would not state such a thing.

lostcolony 11y ago

Being a bit pedantic there aren't you? Sure, if I wasn't interested, I wouldn't be interviewing. But recognizing that the interview's outcome doesn't reflect who I am, nor does it mean 'my life is over and I'll never get a job I like', or any of the other anxieties common to those first few job hunts, means I am not so invested in -succeeding-, and far more invested in just scoping the company out, seeing if this would be a good fit, and accepting a "no" as in no way a reflection of my quality. Obviously, "not giving a damn" is hyperbole; as I said, if I really didn't give a damn I'd not be interviewing in the first place. But it is the most accurate description of the attitude I find myself having when interviewing. "Toughening it out" was what I did as a college student and junior dev, trying to fight the impostor syndrome as I try to convince strangers I'm worth hiring, and trying to hold down the feelings of depression and self-loathing afterwards as I criticized every single thing I did that I thought was a mistake in the interview (even successful ones that in hindsight I realize I absolutely aced), and tried not to think about how I just blew my chance at a dream job (because every company that I talked with was a dream job, after all; someone who would actually -pay- me to write code and solve problems!) I instead describe my current attitude as "not giving a damn" to demarcate it as very much different than that prior experience; my feelings now are "I am good, I know a lot, I learn fast, and I have a track record to prove it, and if you say no it means either you want someone with different experiences who is looking for something very different than what I am, or you've been interviewing for (and thus hiring for) the wrong thing; in either case I don't think I'd enjoy it here. So, while I hope this works out in the affirmative...I will view a 'no' from you as a positive as well, because it tells me more about you than it does about me. Regardless of your response, I am relieved to hear it, hence, I don't give a damn what it is".

bcook 11y ago
I think I offended you. That was not my intent. Focus on what is important. I am very likely a pedant, yet you waste all that text replying to me... Why? (Please do not respond to this post. I have no academic input to share. I only wonder why you even care...) Edit: Is it acceptable to accomplish less than the average? (In my limited experience, "no" is the answer.)

dagss 11y ago

Did you notice that this thread is about mental strategies?