I desperately want someone to parody the montage sequence from The Departed showing Matt Damon double-agenting his way through police academy and Leonardo DiCap

I desperately want someone to parody the montage sequence from The Departed showing Matt Damon double-agenting his way through police academy and Leonardo DiCaprio double-agenting his way through mafia initiation, except this time showing a cop double-agenting as a cab driver ... talking about stuff passengers don't want to hear, receiving calls constantly on a hands-free device, intentionally taking the long way if the customer looks like a tourist... with some sick Dropkick Murphys in the background.