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I don't understand how a liberal person can defend criticising how other people chose to have sex. Young American couples are choosing more frequently to have

I don't understand how a liberal person can defend criticising how other people chose to have sex. Young American couples are choosing more frequently to have anal sex. Unless it's rape, what business is that of yours? This article presents the rise of some sexual practices such as anal and oral, as somehow fundamentally problematic. You have sex how you want to have sex, I'll have sex how I want to have sex, and as long as nobody is being raped it's none of our business what the other person is doing.

andrewvc 11y ago
The problem is that they're not enjoying it (as the article backs up with stats). It's our business as a society if we are failing to educate the next generation to have enjoyable sex. The thesis of the article is that the porn industry is filling this void. It's as if the WWE was in charge of our PE programs.
- john_peiffer 11y ago
  Ah, better send in the enjoyment police to tell people that they aren't enjoying themselves enough or correctly. I read the article quite closely (replying to your sister comment here as well), and I'll pull out some of the things that I think are a bizarre criticism of people's personal choices. > researchers at Indiana University found only about a third of girls between 14 and 17 reported masturbating regularly and fewer than half have even tried once If they don't want to masturbate, then they don't have to masturbate. I almost can't think of anything that is less anyone else's business than how frequently someone chose to masturbate. I read this article as a kind of "you kids are doing it wrong, damnit!" nonsense. When you think about it, it's just as crazy to suggest that girls should be masturbating, as to suggest that they shouldn't. Both of none of your business!
cstejerean 11y ago
I recommend reading the article a little closer if that's all you took away from it. I didn't see anything about criticizing the sexual practices people choose to engage in. But there were some good points about what happens when women are not taught that they are supposed to enjoy sex just as much as men do.
- john_peiffer 11y ago
  I'm not remotely a small-government nut, but even I think it's absolutely crazy that the state should be in any way involved in teaching people what they are supposed to enjoy.
trowawee 11y ago
That's a complete misrepresentation of the article's argument. It presents the rise of those practices as problematic when they are performed under duress, when the act is painful, or when there is a lack of reciprocity in sexual relationships. All of those things are problematic, and the author draws a link between those problems and the prevalence of porn-as-sex-ed. I don't think there's anything wrong with porn, but I do think there's a problem with this: > Yet according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, fewer than half of high schools and only a fifth of middle schools teach all 16 components the agency recommends as essential to sex education. Only 23 states mandate sex ed at all; 13 require it to be medically accurate. That says to me that the problem isn't porn, it's a ridiculous refusal to educate kids about sex, which leaves them to scrape together that education from porn, internet sources, and peer knowledge, which is a recipe for disaster.
- john_peiffer 11y ago
  > under duress If we were talking rape then that would be very serious. But I think what the article is talking about is more a kind of social pressure - would you agree? So boys are saying they prefer girls who do anal. If girls don't like that, they don't have to date those boys. If all the boys say they prefer girls who do anal, then girls don't have to date anyone. Are you saying it's morally wrong for boys to have sexual preferences? And are you saying it's wrong for girls to choose to indulge those preferences? I can't see any other end-point from the path your argument takes. What this article is saying is that boys are wrong for preferring anal, and that girls in relationships are wrong for indulging their boyfriends' sexual preferences. > when the act is painful If people choose to engage in sex acts that are painful that's none of your business. Just because you may not want to do something sexual that's also painful doesn't mean other people don't. > or when there is a lack of reciprocity in sexual relationships So what? Who says sexual relationships have to be reciprocated? I enjoy going down on my wife, but she doesn't really enjoy going down on me. Are we doing it wrong? Should I report to state mandated sex-ed to be re-educated on what my wife and I life and dislike?
rosser 11y ago
Did we just read the same article? Because, the article I read was talking about how a lack of sex education, and people turning to porn as an alternative, has contributed to the ways people relate sexually being full of pain, duress, and lack of reciprocation — or even understanding. You apparently read one that said little more than, "Butt stuff is dirty." I'm all for people getting it on in whatever ways they agree to get it on, but I think people should be agreeing from a place of having been properly informed of more than just gross anatomy (if even that), and that things like consent and respect are as important a part of the broader category of "sexual education" as are pregnancy and STIs. But I suppose that's somehow telling people they're wrong, too?

andrewvc 11y ago

The problem is that they're not enjoying it (as the article backs up with stats). It's our business as a society if we are failing to educate the next generation to have enjoyable sex. The thesis of the article is that the porn industry is filling this void. It's as if the WWE was in charge of our PE programs.

john_peiffer 11y ago
Ah, better send in the enjoyment police to tell people that they aren't enjoying themselves enough or correctly. I read the article quite closely (replying to your sister comment here as well), and I'll pull out some of the things that I think are a bizarre criticism of people's personal choices. > researchers at Indiana University found only about a third of girls between 14 and 17 reported masturbating regularly and fewer than half have even tried once If they don't want to masturbate, then they don't have to masturbate. I almost can't think of anything that is less anyone else's business than how frequently someone chose to masturbate. I read this article as a kind of "you kids are doing it wrong, damnit!" nonsense. When you think about it, it's just as crazy to suggest that girls should be masturbating, as to suggest that they shouldn't. Both of none of your business!

cstejerean 11y ago

I recommend reading the article a little closer if that's all you took away from it. I didn't see anything about criticizing the sexual practices people choose to engage in. But there were some good points about what happens when women are not taught that they are supposed to enjoy sex just as much as men do.

john_peiffer 11y ago
I'm not remotely a small-government nut, but even I think it's absolutely crazy that the state should be in any way involved in teaching people what they are supposed to enjoy.

trowawee 11y ago

That's a complete misrepresentation of the article's argument. It presents the rise of those practices as problematic when they are performed under duress, when the act is painful, or when there is a lack of reciprocity in sexual relationships. All of those things are problematic, and the author draws a link between those problems and the prevalence of porn-as-sex-ed. I don't think there's anything wrong with porn, but I do think there's a problem with this: > Yet according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, fewer than half of high schools and only a fifth of middle schools teach all 16 components the agency recommends as essential to sex education. Only 23 states mandate sex ed at all; 13 require it to be medically accurate. That says to me that the problem isn't porn, it's a ridiculous refusal to educate kids about sex, which leaves them to scrape together that education from porn, internet sources, and peer knowledge, which is a recipe for disaster.

john_peiffer 11y ago
> under duress If we were talking rape then that would be very serious. But I think what the article is talking about is more a kind of social pressure - would you agree? So boys are saying they prefer girls who do anal. If girls don't like that, they don't have to date those boys. If all the boys say they prefer girls who do anal, then girls don't have to date anyone. Are you saying it's morally wrong for boys to have sexual preferences? And are you saying it's wrong for girls to choose to indulge those preferences? I can't see any other end-point from the path your argument takes. What this article is saying is that boys are wrong for preferring anal, and that girls in relationships are wrong for indulging their boyfriends' sexual preferences. > when the act is painful If people choose to engage in sex acts that are painful that's none of your business. Just because you may not want to do something sexual that's also painful doesn't mean other people don't. > or when there is a lack of reciprocity in sexual relationships So what? Who says sexual relationships have to be reciprocated? I enjoy going down on my wife, but she doesn't really enjoy going down on me. Are we doing it wrong? Should I report to state mandated sex-ed to be re-educated on what my wife and I life and dislike?

rosser 11y ago

Did we just read the same article? Because, the article I read was talking about how a lack of sex education, and people turning to porn as an alternative, has contributed to the ways people relate sexually being full of pain, duress, and lack of reciprocation — or even understanding. You apparently read one that said little more than, "Butt stuff is dirty." I'm all for people getting it on in whatever ways they agree to get it on, but I think people should be agreeing from a place of having been properly informed of more than just gross anatomy (if even that), and that things like consent and respect are as important a part of the broader category of "sexual education" as are pregnancy and STIs. But I suppose that's somehow telling people they're wrong, too?