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The classic explanation is from E. Fromm, The Art of Loving with, to paraphrase, "For humans the fundamental problem of life is getting a feeling of security i

by graycat 11y ago

The classic explanation is from E. Fromm, The Art of Loving with, to paraphrase, "For humans the fundamental problem of life is getting a feeling of security in the face of the anxiety from our realization that alone we are vulnerable to the hostile forces of nature and society." rough quote from memory. So, alone we feel vulnerable. So, we want security in the face of that vulnerability. Notably, Fromm does not say that money or power will give that feeling of security and, instead, claims that the first recommended solution is a good romantic relationship, that is, with "knowledge, caring, respect, and responsiveness" where the knowledge means the couple readily exchanges knowledge of themselves. Sure, one can try to use autonomy and self-sufficiency, and those via, say, money and/or power to get the feeling of security. But if only by omission, Fromm is saying that being so alone won't work well.

zappo2938 11y ago
+1 for Erich Fromm! My entire concept of office politics is based on a work by Fromm, Escape From Freedom. His Premise in the book is that people don't want to have to make decisions or be responsible, that they would rather have other people make decisions for them. He makes a point there there is a relationship, like a ratio, between being responsible and freedom. People would gladly give up freedom over being responsible.
- graycat 11y ago
  Very nice!
- fallingfrog 11y ago
  This is insightful! Maybe you could say that people seek to maximize freedom (potential upside) while minimizing responsibility (potential downside)?
- Delmania 11y ago
  This is something I struggle with. A part of me just wants to put my brain on autopilot and simply let my manager tell me what to do. That usually doesn't end well for me. However, I realize that people who want less responsibility and make no decisions are looking for a sense of stability and security in their lives. They want to wake up each morning, go to work, come home, and get paid on a regular basis. They want the regular paycheck. The irony of this, of course, is that this course of action is no less risky than entrepreneurship, because, at a moment's notice, your employer could fire you and destroy the illusion, even if you've worked over a decade for them. No matter what path you take in life, you need to own it. The days of working for a company for a few decades following a defined path were brief.
theparanoid 11y ago
It's strange to be the object of romantic affection and know how conditional it is on your success and status. It kills any reciprocal feelings. There are worse things than being alone.
- fallingfrog 11y ago
  You need to find a more healthy relationship then! Seriously though, in my experience, for what it's worth, my wife has never been interested in being married to someone who was wealthy, high status, and so forth; she is more interested in my being responsible and available. If I was to make a ton more money it probably wouldn't help our relationship much, but if I was to lose my job by being irresponsible that would probably hurt it.

by graycat 11y ago

zappo2938 11y ago

+1 for Erich Fromm! My entire concept of office politics is based on a work by Fromm, Escape From Freedom. His Premise in the book is that people don't want to have to make decisions or be responsible, that they would rather have other people make decisions for them. He makes a point there there is a relationship, like a ratio, between being responsible and freedom. People would gladly give up freedom over being responsible.

graycat 11y ago
Very nice!
fallingfrog 11y ago
This is insightful! Maybe you could say that people seek to maximize freedom (potential upside) while minimizing responsibility (potential downside)?
Delmania 11y ago
This is something I struggle with. A part of me just wants to put my brain on autopilot and simply let my manager tell me what to do. That usually doesn't end well for me. However, I realize that people who want less responsibility and make no decisions are looking for a sense of stability and security in their lives. They want to wake up each morning, go to work, come home, and get paid on a regular basis. They want the regular paycheck. The irony of this, of course, is that this course of action is no less risky than entrepreneurship, because, at a moment's notice, your employer could fire you and destroy the illusion, even if you've worked over a decade for them. No matter what path you take in life, you need to own it. The days of working for a company for a few decades following a defined path were brief.

theparanoid 11y ago

It's strange to be the object of romantic affection and know how conditional it is on your success and status. It kills any reciprocal feelings. There are worse things than being alone.

fallingfrog 11y ago
You need to find a more healthy relationship then! Seriously though, in my experience, for what it's worth, my wife has never been interested in being married to someone who was wealthy, high status, and so forth; she is more interested in my being responsible and available. If I was to make a ton more money it probably wouldn't help our relationship much, but if I was to lose my job by being irresponsible that would probably hurt it.