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I'm sorry you had to go through that. That is extremely unfair. I also hate writing about mental health but in lieu of your last comment... I will not delete th

by jamble 11y ago

I'm sorry you had to go through that. That is extremely unfair. I also hate writing about mental health but in lieu of your last comment... I will not delete this in hopes it helps - at the very least please know you are not alone. I personally had an employer issue where 'short term disability' could never be approved from insurance for mental health, unless I was at risk of hurting myself or others. So I had to use my PTO for mental health days, according to HR. I was assured by my bosses that I'd be given the same protection as "someone on the team who had cancer", but I suppose that was not true as I was soon let go for running out of time-off when I had to go to a trauma group therapy session. I'm not sure if how they let me go was legal ... but I digress. I can definitely relate to your post, and my advice would be to tell new employers the truth: you had / have some [chronic] health issues, and unfortunately had to quit to place your health first for some time. I understand a hiring decision or social factors may be affected by this. The fact that 1) we have to evaluate that as a risk in the first place, or 2) anticipate explaining details of our health, is outright ridiculous and you have my sympathy. if your employer/HR seems clueless or is not giving you the feedback you'd expect, perhaps explain how your symptoms affect your job instead of only telling them a diagnosis. (Edit: It does sound like you'd tried that with your boss, sorry if this is not good advice.) Diagnosis are thrown around so much in the media, after all, who knows what thoughts about "depression" or "bipolar" are conjured in different people? I hope that in time the stigma will change so people like you and I can have more acceptance, less teasing, and more reliable rights in the workplace (and in general, really).

bpchaps 11y ago
Genuinely appreciated. I feel you, man. When I spoke to HR, it was a very serious conversation. Essentially, the conversation was essentially me asking for help in avoiding distractions. There were tons at that place, so my request was just for some tiny modifications of the team with some hope that there would be an understanding. I explained how bipolar worked, what it did, etc. Apparently she never actually talked about it with anyone besides her boss. When I left, I was strongly considering filing a discrimination suit, but eventually decided not to as my mood stabilized. Thing is, though, it seems that these problems are entirely systemic. Every place I've worked at has been like this. New social groups I've been a part of have been the same way. It's frustrating, but the silver lining is that the groups that I get a long with, I get along with /very/ well. Perhaps more so than other social groups I've seen. I don't want to say it gets better. It won't. All we can do is take our medicines, understand how our mental processes work and act accordingly. Considering this is all we have, we can't give up and can only work on improving ourselves, despite our own push back.
- jamble 11y ago
  > the conversation was essentially me asking for help in avoiding distractions. > All we can do is take our medicines, understand how our mental processes work and act accordingly. I definitely know that feel. I do think that things will get better socially over time, but perhaps I'm too much an optimist, who knows :)

by jamble 11y ago

bpchaps 11y ago

Genuinely appreciated. I feel you, man. When I spoke to HR, it was a very serious conversation. Essentially, the conversation was essentially me asking for help in avoiding distractions. There were tons at that place, so my request was just for some tiny modifications of the team with some hope that there would be an understanding. I explained how bipolar worked, what it did, etc. Apparently she never actually talked about it with anyone besides her boss. When I left, I was strongly considering filing a discrimination suit, but eventually decided not to as my mood stabilized. Thing is, though, it seems that these problems are entirely systemic. Every place I've worked at has been like this. New social groups I've been a part of have been the same way. It's frustrating, but the silver lining is that the groups that I get a long with, I get along with /very/ well. Perhaps more so than other social groups I've seen. I don't want to say it gets better. It won't. All we can do is take our medicines, understand how our mental processes work and act accordingly. Considering this is all we have, we can't give up and can only work on improving ourselves, despite our own push back.

jamble 11y ago
> the conversation was essentially me asking for help in avoiding distractions. > All we can do is take our medicines, understand how our mental processes work and act accordingly. I definitely know that feel. I do think that things will get better socially over time, but perhaps I'm too much an optimist, who knows :)