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I want to add to this that you want to be careful about deriving meaning from one's physical actions alone. I may have just crossed my arms, but if you'll look
by SpaceCadetJones 11y ago
I want to add to this that you want to be careful about deriving meaning from one's physical actions alone.
I may have just crossed my arms, but if you'll look closely you'll notice I wasn't looking at you when I did so. It's not that you said something that I'm closing myself off from, it's that it sent my mind on a tangent that made me feel insecure. There's a number of reasons to cross one's arms other than shunning away from people around you.
- maratd 11y agoLet me add a bit more then. It doesn't matter why you're closing yourself off. You start wondering about the why, you'll set out on the path of trying to figure out what people are thinking ... and let me skip to to the end, that path is a dead end. People feel and think things that are based on their experience, but you have no idea what the totality of that experience is. You mention you like jazz. The other person crosses their arms because they stubbed their toe in the morning and jazz was playing in the background, now they remember their toe hurts and they're feeling shitty. How can you possibly foresee that? That sort of random stuff comes up in conversation all the time. The proper response isn't to try to mind read or to convince them that jazz is wonderful. It's to talk about something else.
- over 11y agoSometimes people cross their arms because it's a comfortable resting position. It's common in overweight men, the arms rest on the belly quite naturally. Often people will lean back against the chair or wall at the same time.
- deleted 11y ago[deleted]