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How did you learn to read body language? Can you point us to books, websites or courses? I also would like to know if you notice different body language based

How did you learn to read body language? Can you point us to books, websites or courses? I also would like to know if you notice different body language based on culture, race, gender or not. If so, can you describe how? I am also quite bad at reading body language, and learning some basic acting skills helped me to read body language a bit better, but I would love to have more information about this subject. Thanks!

cpeterso 11y ago
"What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People", written by a former FBI counterintelligence officer, is pretty interesting, though not scientific: https://amzn.com/0061438294 https://amzn.com/0061438294
- chillacy 11y ago
  Ah I remember after I read that in high school I would overanalyze social interactions. Overtime they started becoming more subconscious and automatic so it doesn't get in the way. Today I can point out the reason why I find someone standoffish or sad based on body language, where my extraverted friends who never formalized their knowledge can know what they're feeling but not necessarily formulate why it is.
  - JohnBooty 11y ago
    where my extraverted friends who never formalized their knowledge can know what they're feeling but not necessarily formulate why it is. Haha yeah. It reminds me of the way that non-native English speakers often have an understanding of English that is deeper and more formal than native English speakers. (I am sure that this happens with all languages; English is simply the one I have experience with)
- tamana 11y ago
  That's on my bookshelf next to "Polygraph Interpretation for Dummies"
shiro 11y ago
Don't know about how the grandparent commenter learned it, but I had a similar experience when I went through Meisner acting technique classes. Meisner emphasizes reacting to the scene partners, and its basic training includes perceiving extremely subtle nonverbal messages from other people---"reading behind eyes". After several classes, I remember walking streets and I saw every people's eyes were illuminated as if shone by spotlight, sending out messages. (I don't say I could truly read what they were thinking like telepathy---what I perceived might be completely off from what they actually thought. But for the purpose of acting, perceiving something and reacting to it is what matters.) The book to read is "Sanford Meisner on Acting", but I believe you need to actually do it (with a partner, under proper trainer) to see.
stephenbez 11y ago
I've found this site super useful: http://www.bodylanguagesuccess.com http://www.bodylanguagesuccess.com He goes through video examples from news clips, interview, late night show, etc and points out the body language of the people.
- tangled_zans 11y ago
  "Body language shared by terrorists"? Wow, that's... Wow. Reminds me of the early 1900's eugenicists posters about "facial features shared by criminals".
  - krapp 11y ago
    Or when Barack and Michelle Obama shared what was described by Fox News as a "terrorist fist-jab" a few years ago...
    - tangled_zans 11y ago
      facepalm
      - chris_wot 11y ago
        No need for a website to interpret that bit of body language!
        tangled_zans 11y ago
        Soon, coming to anthropology journals near you: "Facepalm: A universal gesture?"
        chris_wot 11y ago
        The one time Betteridge's Law of Headlines fails!
maratd 11y ago
You'll see a few tips and tricks that are useful. Like when a person crosses their arms, they generally disagree with what you are saying, etc. The most important thing is to pay less attention to the content and more attention to the tone, stance, demeanor, circumstances, likely self-interest in the situation, notice the little things everywhere and that will give you a clearer picture of what you're dealing with. Do this often enough, over and over again, and it'll become second habit. Content is rarely useful unless you're engaging in a very data heavy conversation, like for example you would when describing requirements for a project at work. During regular conversation, everything is generally geared toward communicating emotional state, so focusing too much on content dulls your senses and you don't pick up what you need to pick up.
- SpaceCadetJones 11y ago
  I want to add to this that you want to be careful about deriving meaning from one's physical actions alone. I may have just crossed my arms, but if you'll look closely you'll notice I wasn't looking at you when I did so. It's not that you said something that I'm closing myself off from, it's that it sent my mind on a tangent that made me feel insecure. There's a number of reasons to cross one's arms other than shunning away from people around you.
  - maratd 11y ago
    Let me add a bit more then. It doesn't matter why you're closing yourself off. You start wondering about the why, you'll set out on the path of trying to figure out what people are thinking ... and let me skip to to the end, that path is a dead end. People feel and think things that are based on their experience, but you have no idea what the totality of that experience is. You mention you like jazz. The other person crosses their arms because they stubbed their toe in the morning and jazz was playing in the background, now they remember their toe hurts and they're feeling shitty. How can you possibly foresee that? That sort of random stuff comes up in conversation all the time. The proper response isn't to try to mind read or to convince them that jazz is wonderful. It's to talk about something else.
graeme 11y ago
I wrote about it here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11316187 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11316187 Also, as for different culture, race, gender: not really. I learned expressions that are universal. The cataloguing system they were based on did extensive cross cultural studies. Obviously there are certain tendencies (Italians often do talk with their hands! Even they say so), but nothing you'd want to take as a hard rule. You'll certainly notice body language based on social status though.

cpeterso 11y ago

"What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People", written by a former FBI counterintelligence officer, is pretty interesting, though not scientific: https://amzn.com/0061438294 https://amzn.com/0061438294

chillacy 11y ago
Ah I remember after I read that in high school I would overanalyze social interactions. Overtime they started becoming more subconscious and automatic so it doesn't get in the way. Today I can point out the reason why I find someone standoffish or sad based on body language, where my extraverted friends who never formalized their knowledge can know what they're feeling but not necessarily formulate why it is.
- JohnBooty 11y ago
  where my extraverted friends who never formalized their knowledge can know what they're feeling but not necessarily formulate why it is. Haha yeah. It reminds me of the way that non-native English speakers often have an understanding of English that is deeper and more formal than native English speakers. (I am sure that this happens with all languages; English is simply the one I have experience with)
tamana 11y ago
That's on my bookshelf next to "Polygraph Interpretation for Dummies"

shiro 11y ago

Don't know about how the grandparent commenter learned it, but I had a similar experience when I went through Meisner acting technique classes. Meisner emphasizes reacting to the scene partners, and its basic training includes perceiving extremely subtle nonverbal messages from other people---"reading behind eyes". After several classes, I remember walking streets and I saw every people's eyes were illuminated as if shone by spotlight, sending out messages. (I don't say I could truly read what they were thinking like telepathy---what I perceived might be completely off from what they actually thought. But for the purpose of acting, perceiving something and reacting to it is what matters.) The book to read is "Sanford Meisner on Acting", but I believe you need to actually do it (with a partner, under proper trainer) to see.

stephenbez 11y ago

I've found this site super useful: http://www.bodylanguagesuccess.com http://www.bodylanguagesuccess.com He goes through video examples from news clips, interview, late night show, etc and points out the body language of the people.

tangled_zans 11y ago
"Body language shared by terrorists"? Wow, that's... Wow. Reminds me of the early 1900's eugenicists posters about "facial features shared by criminals".
- krapp 11y ago
  Or when Barack and Michelle Obama shared what was described by Fox News as a "terrorist fist-jab" a few years ago...
  - tangled_zans 11y ago
    facepalm
    - chris_wot 11y ago
      No need for a website to interpret that bit of body language!
      - tangled_zans 11y ago
        Soon, coming to anthropology journals near you: "Facepalm: A universal gesture?"
        chris_wot 11y ago
        The one time Betteridge's Law of Headlines fails!

maratd 11y ago

You'll see a few tips and tricks that are useful. Like when a person crosses their arms, they generally disagree with what you are saying, etc. The most important thing is to pay less attention to the content and more attention to the tone, stance, demeanor, circumstances, likely self-interest in the situation, notice the little things everywhere and that will give you a clearer picture of what you're dealing with. Do this often enough, over and over again, and it'll become second habit. Content is rarely useful unless you're engaging in a very data heavy conversation, like for example you would when describing requirements for a project at work. During regular conversation, everything is generally geared toward communicating emotional state, so focusing too much on content dulls your senses and you don't pick up what you need to pick up.

SpaceCadetJones 11y ago
I want to add to this that you want to be careful about deriving meaning from one's physical actions alone. I may have just crossed my arms, but if you'll look closely you'll notice I wasn't looking at you when I did so. It's not that you said something that I'm closing myself off from, it's that it sent my mind on a tangent that made me feel insecure. There's a number of reasons to cross one's arms other than shunning away from people around you.
- maratd 11y ago
  Let me add a bit more then. It doesn't matter why you're closing yourself off. You start wondering about the why, you'll set out on the path of trying to figure out what people are thinking ... and let me skip to to the end, that path is a dead end. People feel and think things that are based on their experience, but you have no idea what the totality of that experience is. You mention you like jazz. The other person crosses their arms because they stubbed their toe in the morning and jazz was playing in the background, now they remember their toe hurts and they're feeling shitty. How can you possibly foresee that? That sort of random stuff comes up in conversation all the time. The proper response isn't to try to mind read or to convince them that jazz is wonderful. It's to talk about something else.

graeme 11y ago

I wrote about it here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11316187 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11316187 Also, as for different culture, race, gender: not really. I learned expressions that are universal. The cataloguing system they were based on did extensive cross cultural studies. Obviously there are certain tendencies (Italians often do talk with their hands! Even they say so), but nothing you'd want to take as a hard rule. You'll certainly notice body language based on social status though.