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I can't really comment much since I've never had to deal with an issue anywhere close to this, but as a random thought, isn't this something his family would id

by saganus 11y ago

I can't really comment much since I've never had to deal with an issue anywhere close to this, but as a random thought, isn't this something his family would ideally action on? To me it seems great that you are helping him by not allowing him to drive, etc. especially if he is a nice person, but I would think that this might be a a little off your reach. I'm definitely not trying to discourage you but at least where I live, people take it very personal when you try to talk with them about issues/addictions they might have, so I might be biased, but as harsh as this sounds I don't think you can push him too much on this. His grief is probably (and understandably so) too much to bear. The only thing that comes to mind is going to a psychologist/psychiatrist specialized in addictions and ask him for some advice on how to approach him. In any case, good luck. It seems terrible to me that he has to suffer through this and it's really nice that you want to help him. Just be careful on not stepping into something you might not be prepared nor trained to deal with.

bcrescimanno 11y ago
As someone who once had an experience with a coworker who was suffering with addiction / mental health issues, I agree with this comment entirely. While it's admirable to want to help as much as you can, I learned the hard way that it would have been better to simply alert family to my concerns and then step away.
- LouisSayers 11y ago
  If he has a family, then they'd know. He has to want to get help - this is the hard bit. I think it's crazy that you'd facilitate his drinking by driving him home, walking him around with an intern... If I were a manager id have a chat with him
  - saganus 11y ago
    >I think it's crazy that you'd facilitate his drinking by driving him home, walking him around with an intern As opposed to what? letting him endanger his life and potentially those of others? I don't think that at this point that's facilitating his drinking. The guy will clearly keep drinking regardless of his coworkers. Facilitating him would be letting him get drunk just so he can code faster and meet the deadlines or something like that. >If I were a manager id have a chat with him And have a chat about what? I don't think that someone with that level of addiction will just hear you out and say "oh yeah, he's right, I'll change my ways". And if you fire him you will probably just make things worse, thus the OP's question on how to handle this without just throwing him off at the curb.
    - LouisSayers 11y ago
      I'm not saying you should let him drive home drunk. I'm saying that he shouldn't be allowed to come to work drunk! By having an intern help him around, by driving him home, then you are facilitating his drinking. You're basically saying "It's ok to come to work drunk, we'll support you if you do". What I'm saying is that if this is a regular occurrence, you should put your foot down and say "No, don't come to work drunk, it's not OK". If he ends up in the curb because he favours his drinking over his work / life then that's his choice. I'm not saying fire his ass, I'm saying have a chat to him. A good manager will know how to do this. It's not a "You need help" talk, but it's a "We've noticed this behaviour, what's going on?" talk. If you don't have this talk, and continue to drive him home then you are facilitating his drinking, you're basically saying it's OK.
      - saganus 11y ago
        I guess you are right. That's part of the reason this is such a tricky issue I think. But phrased like that, I do agree with you that there should be a limit at some point. However being the one to enforce that... well, that just sucks.

by saganus 11y ago

bcrescimanno 11y ago

As someone who once had an experience with a coworker who was suffering with addiction / mental health issues, I agree with this comment entirely. While it's admirable to want to help as much as you can, I learned the hard way that it would have been better to simply alert family to my concerns and then step away.

LouisSayers 11y ago
If he has a family, then they'd know. He has to want to get help - this is the hard bit. I think it's crazy that you'd facilitate his drinking by driving him home, walking him around with an intern... If I were a manager id have a chat with him
- saganus 11y ago
  >I think it's crazy that you'd facilitate his drinking by driving him home, walking him around with an intern As opposed to what? letting him endanger his life and potentially those of others? I don't think that at this point that's facilitating his drinking. The guy will clearly keep drinking regardless of his coworkers. Facilitating him would be letting him get drunk just so he can code faster and meet the deadlines or something like that. >If I were a manager id have a chat with him And have a chat about what? I don't think that someone with that level of addiction will just hear you out and say "oh yeah, he's right, I'll change my ways". And if you fire him you will probably just make things worse, thus the OP's question on how to handle this without just throwing him off at the curb.
  - LouisSayers 11y ago
    I'm not saying you should let him drive home drunk. I'm saying that he shouldn't be allowed to come to work drunk! By having an intern help him around, by driving him home, then you are facilitating his drinking. You're basically saying "It's ok to come to work drunk, we'll support you if you do". What I'm saying is that if this is a regular occurrence, you should put your foot down and say "No, don't come to work drunk, it's not OK". If he ends up in the curb because he favours his drinking over his work / life then that's his choice. I'm not saying fire his ass, I'm saying have a chat to him. A good manager will know how to do this. It's not a "You need help" talk, but it's a "We've noticed this behaviour, what's going on?" talk. If you don't have this talk, and continue to drive him home then you are facilitating his drinking, you're basically saying it's OK.
    - saganus 11y ago
      I guess you are right. That's part of the reason this is such a tricky issue I think. But phrased like that, I do agree with you that there should be a limit at some point. However being the one to enforce that... well, that just sucks.