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> Also I see what problem they solve, to prevent people like you ruining a child's mental health. Strange comment. I'm thinking of all the girls I knew in publ

by esaym 11y ago

> Also I see what problem they solve, to prevent people like you ruining a child's mental health. Strange comment. I'm thinking of all the girls I knew in public high school that would cut themselves. The boys did other kinds of self harm; severe drug use, and if they couldn't get drugs, they'd go huff gasoline. What I expect from my children is that they do a few hours of work in the morning, a few chores after lunch, and then they can do what ever they want the rest of the day (like help me at work if they want since I work from home). Is that such mental anguish? Of course none of my kids are over 5, so this is all my pipe dream. Might work, might not. As far as socialization, that is a human trait. Some have more of it, and some have less. Environment does play a small factor. But thinking your child will get great social skills by hanging out with teenagers is...unfortunate.

rantanplan 11y ago
Well if you think that by not hanging out with kids of their age is going to be better, that's even more unfortunate. We get it, you had some bad experiences and now what? You're going to isolate them from the rest of the world? And when did that ever work? > As far as socialization, that is a human trait. Some have more of it, and some have less Well, yeah if you make them anti-social, I suppose they're going to have less of it. > and then they can do what ever they want the rest of the day (like help me at work if they want since I work from home) What?!! Why would a child want to help you with your work in their free time? Are you serious? A child must play, play play!! Preferably with other children of their own age. Please talk to a professional about those issues. This is not even remotely a good way to raise your children.
bpyne 11y ago
You've probably also seen little kids - elementary school aged kids - running drugs for older siblings. People in your school were more than likely terrified of going to school unless they were aligned with the right gang. These experiences are extremely traumatic. So, I can understand why you have such a strong opinion about public schools. If you're still in that community, please get out. It'll change your perspective when you realize that your experiences are not the norm by a long shot. My daughter goes to public school. Her experience couldn't be further from my memories. Granted it's only elementary school, but there is no bullying. There's no fighting. Kids form their own groups like everywhere else. But, they live and let live. The school has good academics, a theater program, and a homegrown after school program for parents who can't afford a private one and and can't be there for pick up when school ends. There's a wide spectrum of public school experiences. But, the ones my daughter is having are more the norm than your own.
ceras 11y ago
Why do you think social skills aren't heavily influenced by environment and experience? I'm curious because my intuition is the opposite: that it's mostly based on experience and practice. I only have in support anecdotes, but I've met several people who were homeschooled, and they had a really hard adjustment to high school / college. All of them ended up being loners because of how different they were from everyone and how hard it was for them to relate. In the opposite direction, the person with the most impressive social skills I know is someone that had to overcome a childhood of poor social skill development and consciously train for it as an adult. Honestly, as someone who is mediocre at socializing, I really wish I had more of it growing up (I lived in a neighborhood without other kids). It's a pain to improve as an adult.

by esaym 11y ago

rantanplan 11y ago

Well if you think that by not hanging out with kids of their age is going to be better, that's even more unfortunate. We get it, you had some bad experiences and now what? You're going to isolate them from the rest of the world? And when did that ever work? > As far as socialization, that is a human trait. Some have more of it, and some have less Well, yeah if you make them anti-social, I suppose they're going to have less of it. > and then they can do what ever they want the rest of the day (like help me at work if they want since I work from home) What?!! Why would a child want to help you with your work in their free time? Are you serious? A child must play, play play!! Preferably with other children of their own age. Please talk to a professional about those issues. This is not even remotely a good way to raise your children.

bpyne 11y ago

You've probably also seen little kids - elementary school aged kids - running drugs for older siblings. People in your school were more than likely terrified of going to school unless they were aligned with the right gang. These experiences are extremely traumatic. So, I can understand why you have such a strong opinion about public schools. If you're still in that community, please get out. It'll change your perspective when you realize that your experiences are not the norm by a long shot. My daughter goes to public school. Her experience couldn't be further from my memories. Granted it's only elementary school, but there is no bullying. There's no fighting. Kids form their own groups like everywhere else. But, they live and let live. The school has good academics, a theater program, and a homegrown after school program for parents who can't afford a private one and and can't be there for pick up when school ends. There's a wide spectrum of public school experiences. But, the ones my daughter is having are more the norm than your own.

ceras 11y ago

Why do you think social skills aren't heavily influenced by environment and experience? I'm curious because my intuition is the opposite: that it's mostly based on experience and practice. I only have in support anecdotes, but I've met several people who were homeschooled, and they had a really hard adjustment to high school / college. All of them ended up being loners because of how different they were from everyone and how hard it was for them to relate. In the opposite direction, the person with the most impressive social skills I know is someone that had to overcome a childhood of poor social skill development and consciously train for it as an adult. Honestly, as someone who is mediocre at socializing, I really wish I had more of it growing up (I lived in a neighborhood without other kids). It's a pain to improve as an adult.