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You're imagining a world where people go to college and find high paying jobs after following their dream without their parents holding them back. That is actu

You're imagining a world where people go to college and find high paying jobs after following their dream without their parents holding them back. That is actually a marketing story, dangerous and unrealistic to believe. Esaym is talking about teaching his kids a real skill they can use. It certainly won't override their ability to learn and persue things- it'll actually make that possible. It'll enable them to make decisions in life without having to pray they can find a way to make money, and they'll have a fundamental skill that'll help them whichever way they decide to go. People don't generally get good jobs by their own elbow grease. They get them because of their network and connections. Your family is a huge part of that network, and passing on a skill like a trade is one of the surest ways you can ensure your children actually have a future.

mattmanser 11y ago
Wake-up call, we're a community of programmers and contrary to our echo-chamber, programming is 1 skill of the thousands which make money. I know a range of different people, none of them are programmers. Do you think only programmers make money? I am actually shocked and disgusted by his idea of parenting. He wants to isolate them from other children and teach them one skill instead of letting them learn a range and choose. Re-read what he said, he wants to exclude them from school and get them to work on his business from the age of 13. I don't expect the public school system to teach my children anything. Hence why they won't be attending. I fully expect to start "outsourcing" my web dev work to my children when they are 13.
- 2muchcoffeeman 11y ago
  Well, if the US school system is that bad, I'd expect rather extreme solutions to emerge. His plan could be perfectly rational for his situation.
- sunwooz 11y ago
  I would've loved it if I never went to school. Especially as a minority living in a white neighborhood -- it was pretty much hell every day.
  - esaym 11y ago
    I didn't see much of a point to my public schooling either. Everything I learned there could've been taught by my parents, except they really had no career skills themselves. The "minority" issue you speak of is interesting. Up until 4th grade, I went to a small country school where every one was white. There was only one teacher per grade, and each grade had 15-20 kids or so. Then because my mom re-married, I moved to a more city location. It was the complete opposite. I was bullied for the next 4 years for being white...
  - restalis 11y ago
    You assume the problems you had were for being a minority, which may be true. You could however have had a similar hell schooling without having a handy social issue to blame. Many of us (nerds) had that hard time as kids with or without racial discrimination.
- inanutshellus 11y ago
  I feel like you're reading what you want to read into Esaym's post. And I suspect you don't have kids. I have two young kids and let me tell you the siren song of mediocrity is strong. Everything that requires a little bit of extra effort is undercut with "Daaaaad can we watch teeveeeee instead of soccer/coloring/math/bubbles/running/programming/bicycling/gymnastics/dancing/karate/naval-frickin'-gazing?" Obviously what the GP is saying is that he's at least /intending/ to (a) send them to private school (b) teach them a skill he thinks will give them self-confidence and the ability to value their efforts. That's it. That's all ANY parent wants. My only real caution would be to say that I really don't expect web development to be a shockingly high paying job for my kids' lifetime. But yeah, basically you teach your kids to love solving problems and the world will be their oyster. So the theory goes.
- MichaelBurge 11y ago
  Why do you think farmers used to have a dozen kids? Extra labor to help around the farm. If your parent is a minister, you'll be helping around the church as a teenager. Or how about the common last name 'Smith', as in 'that family of blacksmiths'? Parents teaching their kids the family trade is as old as history. Maybe there are other ways, but to 'shock and disgust' seems a bit extreme.
  - hueving 11y ago
    Slavery and teachers beating the shit out of children who spoke out of line is as old as history as well. That doesn't mean we made a bad move as a society in moving away from those things.
  - vectorjohn 11y ago
    That is a horrible defense of a horrible sounding parent. Other comments have made the required comparisons to other idiotic appeals to antiquity, but there's another thing. It seems almost barbaric when we're past the time when people had almost no say in their career path to limit your children's exposure to add many ideas and experiences as you can. A farmer in the 1600's didn't have much choice, but we do now.
    - inanutshellus 11y ago
      You're being intentionally obtuse and vitriolic. Let's lay it out simply: As a [whatever I am] I have the ability to teach [X]. Therefore, I will teach [X] to my children to help them be a useful member of society. In my particular case, for example, I have the ability to teach my child about math, logic, critical thinking, problem solving, general computing, and rudimentary electrical engineering. I'll also teach them about hiking, backpacking, a love of nature, fine art, an appreciation of music and storytelling... but as far as "making a wage" skills? I just can't teach them skills I don't have. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to teach my child how to be an extrovert, an athlete, a politician, an actor, a doctor, a singer, an agriculturist, a CEO of a major corporation... but... those are not in my skillset. And to call this guy "a horrible-sounding parent" for doing what he should be doing just means you're not a parent.
- nostrademons 11y ago
  "He wants to isolate them from other children and teach them one skill instead of letting them learn a range and choose." He didn't say this anywhere in his post.
- restalis 11y ago
  "instead of letting them learn a range and choose" You should acknowledge the weakness of your children's characters and that without parent's strong influence they will most likely be hype-driven, drown to many interesting but useless, maybe even damaging prospects. They will need your guidance, and hopefully you'll be able to provide a good enough one.

mattmanser 11y ago

Wake-up call, we're a community of programmers and contrary to our echo-chamber, programming is 1 skill of the thousands which make money. I know a range of different people, none of them are programmers. Do you think only programmers make money? I am actually shocked and disgusted by his idea of parenting. He wants to isolate them from other children and teach them one skill instead of letting them learn a range and choose. Re-read what he said, he wants to exclude them from school and get them to work on his business from the age of 13. I don't expect the public school system to teach my children anything. Hence why they won't be attending. I fully expect to start "outsourcing" my web dev work to my children when they are 13.

2muchcoffeeman 11y ago
Well, if the US school system is that bad, I'd expect rather extreme solutions to emerge. His plan could be perfectly rational for his situation.
sunwooz 11y ago
I would've loved it if I never went to school. Especially as a minority living in a white neighborhood -- it was pretty much hell every day.
- esaym 11y ago
  I didn't see much of a point to my public schooling either. Everything I learned there could've been taught by my parents, except they really had no career skills themselves. The "minority" issue you speak of is interesting. Up until 4th grade, I went to a small country school where every one was white. There was only one teacher per grade, and each grade had 15-20 kids or so. Then because my mom re-married, I moved to a more city location. It was the complete opposite. I was bullied for the next 4 years for being white...
- restalis 11y ago
  You assume the problems you had were for being a minority, which may be true. You could however have had a similar hell schooling without having a handy social issue to blame. Many of us (nerds) had that hard time as kids with or without racial discrimination.
inanutshellus 11y ago
I feel like you're reading what you want to read into Esaym's post. And I suspect you don't have kids. I have two young kids and let me tell you the siren song of mediocrity is strong. Everything that requires a little bit of extra effort is undercut with "Daaaaad can we watch teeveeeee instead of soccer/coloring/math/bubbles/running/programming/bicycling/gymnastics/dancing/karate/naval-frickin'-gazing?" Obviously what the GP is saying is that he's at least /intending/ to (a) send them to private school (b) teach them a skill he thinks will give them self-confidence and the ability to value their efforts. That's it. That's all ANY parent wants. My only real caution would be to say that I really don't expect web development to be a shockingly high paying job for my kids' lifetime. But yeah, basically you teach your kids to love solving problems and the world will be their oyster. So the theory goes.
MichaelBurge 11y ago
Why do you think farmers used to have a dozen kids? Extra labor to help around the farm. If your parent is a minister, you'll be helping around the church as a teenager. Or how about the common last name 'Smith', as in 'that family of blacksmiths'? Parents teaching their kids the family trade is as old as history. Maybe there are other ways, but to 'shock and disgust' seems a bit extreme.
- hueving 11y ago
  Slavery and teachers beating the shit out of children who spoke out of line is as old as history as well. That doesn't mean we made a bad move as a society in moving away from those things.
- vectorjohn 11y ago
  That is a horrible defense of a horrible sounding parent. Other comments have made the required comparisons to other idiotic appeals to antiquity, but there's another thing. It seems almost barbaric when we're past the time when people had almost no say in their career path to limit your children's exposure to add many ideas and experiences as you can. A farmer in the 1600's didn't have much choice, but we do now.
  - inanutshellus 11y ago
    You're being intentionally obtuse and vitriolic. Let's lay it out simply: As a [whatever I am] I have the ability to teach [X]. Therefore, I will teach [X] to my children to help them be a useful member of society. In my particular case, for example, I have the ability to teach my child about math, logic, critical thinking, problem solving, general computing, and rudimentary electrical engineering. I'll also teach them about hiking, backpacking, a love of nature, fine art, an appreciation of music and storytelling... but as far as "making a wage" skills? I just can't teach them skills I don't have. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to teach my child how to be an extrovert, an athlete, a politician, an actor, a doctor, a singer, an agriculturist, a CEO of a major corporation... but... those are not in my skillset. And to call this guy "a horrible-sounding parent" for doing what he should be doing just means you're not a parent.
nostrademons 11y ago
"He wants to isolate them from other children and teach them one skill instead of letting them learn a range and choose." He didn't say this anywhere in his post.
restalis 11y ago
"instead of letting them learn a range and choose" You should acknowledge the weakness of your children's characters and that without parent's strong influence they will most likely be hype-driven, drown to many interesting but useless, maybe even damaging prospects. They will need your guidance, and hopefully you'll be able to provide a good enough one.