10 ms·

Well, best case scenario is that both of you are impartial. Sometimes the manager will actually have a sensible explanation for why something is the way it is.

Well, best case scenario is that both of you are impartial. Sometimes the manager will actually have a sensible explanation for why something is the way it is. I do actually sympathize with the scenario you describe, I've been downstream from a manager who valued his power above the good of the organization. (Worse, I was a manager myself at the time, so I had to act as a buffer between him and my team. That was a mess, and that's why I got out of management.) In organizations that value power and finding someone to blame when things go wrong, I do agree that you need to be careful in 1-on-1 meetings, and not just those. "CYA" is an art form I never mastered, and frankly I don't want to, so I can't give you much advise. I just found a different organization to work for at the earliest opportunity.

cookiecaper 11y ago
>Well, best case scenario is that both of you are impartial. This is exceeding the best case scale and entering into fantasy scale. Both entities would only operate impartially if both were independently wealthy and only did the job as a form of private amusement to which they felt no real connection. If that's not the case, and it almost never is, both entities have a strong bias toward self-preservation, even if they say they don't.
- jdcarter 11y ago
  But is it really so unreasonable to have a conversation where you listen to and consider the other person's point of view? We're never perfectly impartial, of course, but I'm talking about a reasonable effort to have a two-way discussion. This assumes a level of psychological safety in your manager/employee relationship, and I gather from the tone of this comment thread that many people don't have that. That's really unfortunate; a good manager is an essential component to job satisfaction.
  - cookiecaper 11y ago
    You can have some psychological safety and should be able to have a discussion without a lot of anxiety. However, both parties need to cognizant of the effect of the context and circumstances on the interaction. You can't accept much of anything in employment at face value. It's a very politically-charged environment and it is certainly wise to refrain from getting too comfortable around your superiors (and other colleagues, for that matter). Politics is everywhere people are (politics is the management or attempted management of others' perceptions and opinions). It becomes a big deal as soon as you get even one rung up the ladder; if you're an in-demand skilled professional, you might be able to get away being more or less politically ignorant up until you get one report. At that point, it's unavoidable. People who are not in high demand spend their entire careers playing political games, because it's the only way to survive, let alone advance. Employment is a popularity contest. If you want to make it as an employee, you have to be winning it.

cookiecaper 11y ago

>Well, best case scenario is that both of you are impartial. This is exceeding the best case scale and entering into fantasy scale. Both entities would only operate impartially if both were independently wealthy and only did the job as a form of private amusement to which they felt no real connection. If that's not the case, and it almost never is, both entities have a strong bias toward self-preservation, even if they say they don't.

jdcarter 11y ago
But is it really so unreasonable to have a conversation where you listen to and consider the other person's point of view? We're never perfectly impartial, of course, but I'm talking about a reasonable effort to have a two-way discussion. This assumes a level of psychological safety in your manager/employee relationship, and I gather from the tone of this comment thread that many people don't have that. That's really unfortunate; a good manager is an essential component to job satisfaction.
- cookiecaper 11y ago
  You can have some psychological safety and should be able to have a discussion without a lot of anxiety. However, both parties need to cognizant of the effect of the context and circumstances on the interaction. You can't accept much of anything in employment at face value. It's a very politically-charged environment and it is certainly wise to refrain from getting too comfortable around your superiors (and other colleagues, for that matter). Politics is everywhere people are (politics is the management or attempted management of others' perceptions and opinions). It becomes a big deal as soon as you get even one rung up the ladder; if you're an in-demand skilled professional, you might be able to get away being more or less politically ignorant up until you get one report. At that point, it's unavoidable. People who are not in high demand spend their entire careers playing political games, because it's the only way to survive, let alone advance. Employment is a popularity contest. If you want to make it as an employee, you have to be winning it.