5 ms·

I am 28 years old. My biggest fear in life is waking up on my 50th and not owning a house, not having a family, and not having a ordinary job... because so far

by speeder 11y ago

I am 28 years old. My biggest fear in life is waking up on my 50th and not owning a house, not having a family, and not having a ordinary job... because so far is how my life is going. I currently live with my parents, have negative net worth, have no friends, no girlfriend, no job, and can't afford to buy a new PC, and my current one is trying to die on me, and I need it to do the occasional odd-job that shows up.

miseg 11y ago
What kind of tasks do you need a computer for? From that you could determine how much you need to spend on a replacement one (probably a free one or a cheap second-hand one).
ericcholis 11y ago
Some people might view your situation as very advantageous. No ties, no strings attached, nothing to hold you back. Your opportunity in life is a blank slate, in a good way. Take every odd job that shows up, and amass some savings towards a long-term goal. Travel the US, or the world if you can manage. Making friends is easy, keeping them can hard. Join some local clubs/organizations and put yourself out there. Fear can be a motivator if you let it, use it to help you avoid the undesirable outcome. Some of these sound like platitudes, but they do hold substance. It's easy to find yourself in a situation that seems hopeless. What you do from that place is important.
kingkawn 11y ago
Obviously if your life is not matching the expectations built into you from before you were aware it was happening it is because the expectations are bullshit. I am looking forward to a return to communal living and away from these ridiculous status markers being labeled independence and success.
- mineshaftgap 11y ago
  Communal living is great in theory, in reality it is a shitshow. Boundaries are important.
- gavazzy 11y ago
  Having a standard of living is a status marker? If you want to live in a commune, why don't you convince 10 other people to go live with you out on a farm?
- pm90 11y ago
  I did not downvote, but I really disagree with this sentiment. Financial independence for young people is probably the most revolutionary concept in Western culture and is definitely the reason behind so much innovation not just in technology, but in society as well.
- fucking_tragedy 11y ago
  Where do you get the idea that we'll return to communal living? For hundreds of years, we've been taught that it is "I versus Everyone Else" in economically liberal societies. To think that will go away, and not go into hyperdrive, when people are desperate, cold and hungry seems unrealistic to me. I truly want my assumption to be proven wrong, though.
rnernento 11y ago
What skills do you have? What are you doing to improve them? What job do you want? What's preventing you from getting a position somewhere in that field? I'm assuming you're putting a lot of work into achieving your goals, what are the obstacles you're coming up against?
- pcurve 11y ago
  Based on his profile, he might live in Brazil which is now an economic basket case. So that might be his biggest obstacle. There are so many substandard developers making $100k in the u.s. that would never be able to find job elsewhere in the world, those of us who live in the U.S. should really be grateful despite all of its shortcomings.
  - jazzyk 11y ago
    The distribution of substandard developers making a purchasing-power equivalent of $100K (allowing for free healthcare, college education, lower housing costs) is probably similar in most countries with a well-developed IT sector.
gregatragenet3 11y ago
My generations biggest fear was that there would be a global thermonuclear war that destroyed civilization, and those few that survived would have short miserable lives picking through the ashes ala 'the road'. Being 50 and renting a house instead of owning it doesn't sound that bad to me.
- ZenoArrow 11y ago
  > "My generations biggest fear was that there would be a global thermonuclear war that destroyed civilization" That may still happen, Generation X doesn't get to claim that one as solely their own.
  - cableshaft 11y ago
    It was a much more real threat in the 80's and early 90's, though. I highly doubt students are still forced to watch bullshit educational "duck and cover" videos on how hiding under their desks will somehow save them from a nuclear explosion. That being said, kids have something else to replace that fear with nowadays: the constant potential threat of a possible school shooter.
    - ZenoArrow 11y ago
      > "It was a much more real threat in the 80's and early 90's, though. I highly doubt students are still forced to watch bullshit educational "duck and cover" videos on how hiding under their desks will somehow save them from a nuclear explosion." I agree that it was more prominent in the public imagination, and you're right that "duck and cover" videos and similar were part of what kept it there, but I would dispute that the threat is any less 'real' now than it was in the 80's. Looking around the world, I'd say there are currently three regions of instability that could lead to nuclear weapons used in anger (I'd add a fourth one if Trump is elected US President, and I'm not joking about that, the guy has already called for killing innocent people to further his own goals (killing the families of terrorists), and I could see Trump and Putin being a toxic combination in terms of diplomatic action). The three regions I'm referring to are: 1. North Korea. 2. Middle East. 3. India and Pakistan. North Korea are clearly threatening to develop nuclear weapons, and have a powerful ally in China, which allows them to get away with it so far. Even if the weapons are developed as a form of self defence, the question is what the leadership sees as valid threats, and considering their somewhat ruthless approach to their own people, I wouldn't put it past the North Korean government to do something reckless beyond their own borders. The Middle East appears to be a huge mess, I'm sure I don't need to explain how chaotic the region is. Isreal are the only country in the region with nuclear weapons at the moment, but with the activity in the region it never seems far from disaster. Even if Isreal didn't push the button themselves, other more radical groups may go down that route. Russia's support for Assad and Turkey's membership of NATO are a bit of a concern when viewed in combination. India and Pakistan are both nuclear powers, engaged with a minor conflict with each other over their borders. Things appear to be settling down recently but if either side gets a war-hungry government then work on developing a peaceful resolution could be undone. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/India–Pakistan_border_skirmishes_(2014–present) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/India–Pakistan_border_skirmish...

by speeder 11y ago

miseg 11y ago

What kind of tasks do you need a computer for? From that you could determine how much you need to spend on a replacement one (probably a free one or a cheap second-hand one).

ericcholis 11y ago

Some people might view your situation as very advantageous. No ties, no strings attached, nothing to hold you back. Your opportunity in life is a blank slate, in a good way. Take every odd job that shows up, and amass some savings towards a long-term goal. Travel the US, or the world if you can manage. Making friends is easy, keeping them can hard. Join some local clubs/organizations and put yourself out there. Fear can be a motivator if you let it, use it to help you avoid the undesirable outcome. Some of these sound like platitudes, but they do hold substance. It's easy to find yourself in a situation that seems hopeless. What you do from that place is important.

kingkawn 11y ago

Obviously if your life is not matching the expectations built into you from before you were aware it was happening it is because the expectations are bullshit. I am looking forward to a return to communal living and away from these ridiculous status markers being labeled independence and success.

mineshaftgap 11y ago
Communal living is great in theory, in reality it is a shitshow. Boundaries are important.
gavazzy 11y ago
Having a standard of living is a status marker? If you want to live in a commune, why don't you convince 10 other people to go live with you out on a farm?
pm90 11y ago
I did not downvote, but I really disagree with this sentiment. Financial independence for young people is probably the most revolutionary concept in Western culture and is definitely the reason behind so much innovation not just in technology, but in society as well.
fucking_tragedy 11y ago
Where do you get the idea that we'll return to communal living? For hundreds of years, we've been taught that it is "I versus Everyone Else" in economically liberal societies. To think that will go away, and not go into hyperdrive, when people are desperate, cold and hungry seems unrealistic to me. I truly want my assumption to be proven wrong, though.

rnernento 11y ago

What skills do you have? What are you doing to improve them? What job do you want? What's preventing you from getting a position somewhere in that field? I'm assuming you're putting a lot of work into achieving your goals, what are the obstacles you're coming up against?

pcurve 11y ago
Based on his profile, he might live in Brazil which is now an economic basket case. So that might be his biggest obstacle. There are so many substandard developers making $100k in the u.s. that would never be able to find job elsewhere in the world, those of us who live in the U.S. should really be grateful despite all of its shortcomings.
- jazzyk 11y ago
  The distribution of substandard developers making a purchasing-power equivalent of $100K (allowing for free healthcare, college education, lower housing costs) is probably similar in most countries with a well-developed IT sector.

gregatragenet3 11y ago

My generations biggest fear was that there would be a global thermonuclear war that destroyed civilization, and those few that survived would have short miserable lives picking through the ashes ala 'the road'. Being 50 and renting a house instead of owning it doesn't sound that bad to me.

ZenoArrow 11y ago
> "My generations biggest fear was that there would be a global thermonuclear war that destroyed civilization" That may still happen, Generation X doesn't get to claim that one as solely their own.
- cableshaft 11y ago
  It was a much more real threat in the 80's and early 90's, though. I highly doubt students are still forced to watch bullshit educational "duck and cover" videos on how hiding under their desks will somehow save them from a nuclear explosion. That being said, kids have something else to replace that fear with nowadays: the constant potential threat of a possible school shooter.
  - ZenoArrow 11y ago
    > "It was a much more real threat in the 80's and early 90's, though. I highly doubt students are still forced to watch bullshit educational "duck and cover" videos on how hiding under their desks will somehow save them from a nuclear explosion." I agree that it was more prominent in the public imagination, and you're right that "duck and cover" videos and similar were part of what kept it there, but I would dispute that the threat is any less 'real' now than it was in the 80's. Looking around the world, I'd say there are currently three regions of instability that could lead to nuclear weapons used in anger (I'd add a fourth one if Trump is elected US President, and I'm not joking about that, the guy has already called for killing innocent people to further his own goals (killing the families of terrorists), and I could see Trump and Putin being a toxic combination in terms of diplomatic action). The three regions I'm referring to are: 1. North Korea. 2. Middle East. 3. India and Pakistan. North Korea are clearly threatening to develop nuclear weapons, and have a powerful ally in China, which allows them to get away with it so far. Even if the weapons are developed as a form of self defence, the question is what the leadership sees as valid threats, and considering their somewhat ruthless approach to their own people, I wouldn't put it past the North Korean government to do something reckless beyond their own borders. The Middle East appears to be a huge mess, I'm sure I don't need to explain how chaotic the region is. Isreal are the only country in the region with nuclear weapons at the moment, but with the activity in the region it never seems far from disaster. Even if Isreal didn't push the button themselves, other more radical groups may go down that route. Russia's support for Assad and Turkey's membership of NATO are a bit of a concern when viewed in combination. India and Pakistan are both nuclear powers, engaged with a minor conflict with each other over their borders. Things appear to be settling down recently but if either side gets a war-hungry government then work on developing a peaceful resolution could be undone. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/India–Pakistan_border_skirmishes_(2014–present) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/India–Pakistan_border_skirmish...