2 ms·

I agree; it's absolutely a shame that people need to be explicitly told that harassment can take the form of compliments, and that saying something nice about s

I agree; it's absolutely a shame that people need to be explicitly told that harassment can take the form of compliments, and that saying something nice about somebody does not give you a free pass about the content of your statement. I'm not sure this is something we're developing, though; I'm pretty sure society has been this way for a while. If anything, it's good that it's being explicitly spelled out, because hopefully that means the improper behaviours will start to extinguish.

forgetsusername 11y ago
>saying something nice about somebody does not give you a free pass about the content of your statement. And sometimes people really do think you're wearing a nice shirt and want to tell you that.
- CocaKoala 11y ago
  I didn't see your response for a long time. "That's a nice shirt, I really like it!" vs. "Hey, that shirt looks good on you now, but I bet it would better on the floor of my bedroom!" are two ways to say that you like somebody's shirt. One is a workplace appropriate compliment, one is obviously not. A policy like "even complimenting your coworker's clothes can be reported as harassment" isn't some trap designed to catch you and punish you for the act of being friendly. It's a policy that's designed to defang institutionalized harassment that persists under the guise of being friendly; by couching sexual come-ons or derogatory remarks ("I always like the shirts you wear, they're by far the best part of having you work here" is a compliment for the shirt, and an insult to the person wearing it) in the form of a back-handed compliment, disgusting people can then claim that they're being punished when all they wanted to do is be nice. If you still don't understand my point, please let me know and I'll try to explain it further (:

2 ms·

I agree; it's absolutely a shame that people need to be explicitly told that harassment can take the form of compliments, and that saying something nice about s

by CocaKoala 11y ago

forgetsusername 11y ago
>saying something nice about somebody does not give you a free pass about the content of your statement. And sometimes people really do think you're wearing a nice shirt and want to tell you that.
- CocaKoala 11y ago
  I didn't see your response for a long time. "That's a nice shirt, I really like it!" vs. "Hey, that shirt looks good on you now, but I bet it would better on the floor of my bedroom!" are two ways to say that you like somebody's shirt. One is a workplace appropriate compliment, one is obviously not. A policy like "even complimenting your coworker's clothes can be reported as harassment" isn't some trap designed to catch you and punish you for the act of being friendly. It's a policy that's designed to defang institutionalized harassment that persists under the guise of being friendly; by couching sexual come-ons or derogatory remarks ("I always like the shirts you wear, they're by far the best part of having you work here" is a compliment for the shirt, and an insult to the person wearing it) in the form of a back-handed compliment, disgusting people can then claim that they're being punished when all they wanted to do is be nice. If you still don't understand my point, please let me know and I'll try to explain it further (: