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I have been screamed at by women, too (for example once I asked one who was struggling with a vending machine if I could help her). As I said - in general we tr

I have been screamed at by women, too (for example once I asked one who was struggling with a vending machine if I could help her). As I said - in general we try to be polite to prevent escalation of things. And it doesn't sound from the story as if the girl agreed to meet for dinner because she feared an abusive response otherwise.

rosser 11y ago
Yeah? And were you physically intimidated by that woman? Could she obviously have overpowered you and visited violence upon you, if she'd wanted to? That is a very real threat that almost every woman (okay, maybe not Rhonda Rousey) faces in almost every interaction with almost every man. Is it likely? No. Absolutely not. In many — if not most — cases, it's vanishingly unlikely. But is it possible? What do you think? Frankly, it's delusional not to believe that it does — and should — legitimately play into a woman's thought process pretty much every time she has to turn a man down for a drink, or a date, or when she says no, or tells him to stop. It seriously blows my mind how many people apparently can't even attempt to look at the world from someone else's perspective, and instead just assume — and not even consciously assume, but the more insidious, unconscious kind of assumption — "Welp, this is how things are for me, so they must be the same for everyone else, too." That is some of the most myopic, unexamined "thinking" I can imagine, and it literally causes me pain every time I have to confront it, or try to engage with it, in whatever form. And you just offered a perfect example of it: "I didn't feel threatened when that woman at the vending machine yelled at me, so women must not feel that way in a confrontation with men!" I know you don't actually believe that — at least not completely — but that's precisely the perspective that offering your anecdote as a counter to my comment conveys. And then, on top of all of that, there's your victim-blaming. "She agreed to meet this taint smear for dinner, so clearly she invited his attentions!" I mean, really?
- facepalm 11y ago
  You really exaggerate. Most such interactions happen in public spaces. A man can not just beat up a woman in a public space on a whim. Most woman don't walk around in constant fear of men, either. Perhaps the opposite is true: we are all so used to people being polite that we don't know how to react when somebody isn't, like a stalker who doesn't get the hint. (And can I just say Trump...). If that girl had had more encounters with messed up men she would perhaps have reacted differently. I actually tend to be afraid of women going mental. These days, they might be armed. When I walk home from the tube at night I always worry the woman in front of me might get it into her head that I could be following her and suddenly draw a weapon on me. So, in your own words, it is unlikely, but also possible that a woman could go violent on me. There are also the false rape accusations - women have many options to ruin a man's life. Also, I never said she invited the attention, just that her agreeing to go for dinner was not because she was afraid he would become violent otherwise. There is nothing in that statement that validates his actions. Don't just shout "victim blaming" as a knee jerk reaction in any discussion about women, it's ridiculous. I boggles my mind that you assume so many things, and seem to be so cocksure in your opinions.

rosser 11y ago

Yeah? And were you physically intimidated by that woman? Could she obviously have overpowered you and visited violence upon you, if she'd wanted to? That is a very real threat that almost every woman (okay, maybe not Rhonda Rousey) faces in almost every interaction with almost every man. Is it likely? No. Absolutely not. In many — if not most — cases, it's vanishingly unlikely. But is it possible? What do you think? Frankly, it's delusional not to believe that it does — and should — legitimately play into a woman's thought process pretty much every time she has to turn a man down for a drink, or a date, or when she says no, or tells him to stop. It seriously blows my mind how many people apparently can't even attempt to look at the world from someone else's perspective, and instead just assume — and not even consciously assume, but the more insidious, unconscious kind of assumption — "Welp, this is how things are for me, so they must be the same for everyone else, too." That is some of the most myopic, unexamined "thinking" I can imagine, and it literally causes me pain every time I have to confront it, or try to engage with it, in whatever form. And you just offered a perfect example of it: "I didn't feel threatened when that woman at the vending machine yelled at me, so women must not feel that way in a confrontation with men!" I know you don't actually believe that — at least not completely — but that's precisely the perspective that offering your anecdote as a counter to my comment conveys. And then, on top of all of that, there's your victim-blaming. "She agreed to meet this taint smear for dinner, so clearly she invited his attentions!" I mean, really?

facepalm 11y ago
You really exaggerate. Most such interactions happen in public spaces. A man can not just beat up a woman in a public space on a whim. Most woman don't walk around in constant fear of men, either. Perhaps the opposite is true: we are all so used to people being polite that we don't know how to react when somebody isn't, like a stalker who doesn't get the hint. (And can I just say Trump...). If that girl had had more encounters with messed up men she would perhaps have reacted differently. I actually tend to be afraid of women going mental. These days, they might be armed. When I walk home from the tube at night I always worry the woman in front of me might get it into her head that I could be following her and suddenly draw a weapon on me. So, in your own words, it is unlikely, but also possible that a woman could go violent on me. There are also the false rape accusations - women have many options to ruin a man's life. Also, I never said she invited the attention, just that her agreeing to go for dinner was not because she was afraid he would become violent otherwise. There is nothing in that statement that validates his actions. Don't just shout "victim blaming" as a knee jerk reaction in any discussion about women, it's ridiculous. I boggles my mind that you assume so many things, and seem to be so cocksure in your opinions.