It's not immediately clear whether I'd prefer (a) being crammed in a space uncomfortable for anybody over 5'2" or 120 lbs between two chatty salesmen mutually

It's not immediately clear whether I'd prefer (a) being crammed in a space uncomfortable for anybody over 5'2" or 120 lbs between two chatty salesmen mutually disapproving those who think the world is ca. 600,000 times older than they think it is, or (b) being shot with a tranquilizer dart and shipped in a dog crate. I mean, I'd seriously consider (b) before sighing and going for (a) + alcohol.