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> I don't think the writer was placing entire blame with the partner, but actually making a good point earlier about the psychological reinforcement from being
by ronjouch 11y ago
> I don't think the writer was placing entire blame with the partner, but actually making a good point earlier about the psychological reinforcement from being around them
This. To badly reformulate a similar article found here (for which I can't recollect the author, sorry... maybe Glyph or Sivers?), "We are not islands, your close friends and loved ones kinda have root access to your brain. Given enough time / frequence, their own attitudes / biases / psychological problems become yours. And conversely, you'll inherit some of their strengths."
→ To come back to Kenneth's mention of the "crazy chick",
- It doesn't have to be framed negatively (interpreting it as Kenneth saying "damn crazy chick, she's the one to blame").
- Rather, maybe a more positive frame involving our own responsibility helps: "try as much as possible to surround yourself with sane, stable, caring people".
EDIT: hi downvoters, I'm surprised, care to elaborate?
- patio11 11y agoThat may have been me? https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9910380 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9910380 Why? Your peer group literally gets arbitrary code execution on your brain. (It's a flaw in MonkeyBrainOS 1.01 which we haven't patched yet.) You'll tend to find yourself valuing what they value. You will tend to find yourself achieving outcomes strikingly similar to their outcomes. Given this, picking a peer group whose values are not your values and whose outcomes are terrible is a poor choice.
- ronjouch 11y agoYES! Thanks :)
- CPLX 11y agoThat is a remarkably pithy observation.
- pnathan 11y agoBy the way, Patrick - that's a really great quote; you could turn it into a super helpful essay/blogpost. I occasionally think of it as I interact with people who are choosing peer groups with poor outcomes.