4 ms·

I find the shortness of this message a bit strange. How did you make a living so far? What was your plan and why did it go wrong? What are your plans now? Wh

I find the shortness of this message a bit strange. How did you make a living so far? What was your plan and why did it go wrong? What are your plans now? What is your skillset?

dalke 11y ago
"A bit strange" means many things. Do you think it's a suspect plea for help or do you not understand how this can happen to someone? Let's assume it's a valid request for help. In which case there is only 2 days for tevlon to figure out what to do, and is currently feeling scared. This is not the right time to ask for an explanation of what lead to this point, because doing so doesn't help the immediate issue of food and housing. Nor is it useful to ask "What are your plans now?", given that tevlon wrote "I have no idea what to do". There are no plans. Nor does asking "What is your skillset?" help, because there's almost no answer which would resolve the immediate issue of food or housing. People get into this sort of situation for many reasons. It could be bad planning, or being kicked out of the family which had supported you, or a consequence of depression, or a drug or gambling addition, to name only a few. Even good planning can't avoid all problems, because unlikely events also happen; a roommate who was paying part of the rent who then left or died, or a fire which required spending all the cash reserves to recover. But someone who faces a crisis situation doesn't really have the focus or desire to educate others on the historical reasons which lead to the current crisis. If I hear someone cry out "Help, I've fallen down the side of the cliff!" my response isn't "Why didn't you bring a rope? Do you know how to make a ladder? What were your plans to keep from falling?"
- tevlon 11y ago
  Thanks for understanding. I had a (rich) girlfriend and she supported me, i am doing my master thesis and had no time for her, so she left for someone else and here i am :(
  - narwally 11y ago
    Is there anyone in your masters program that you can ask for help until you get back on your feet. I've been in a similar situation in the past, and never asked my colleagues for help because I didn't feel we were close enough. After the fact I found out that many of them were appalled that I hadn't asked them for help, and would have gladly done it. This was in the southern U.S. though, and I'm not very familiar with German culture; The culture difference may or may not make this as feasible.

I find the shortness of this message a bit strange. How did you make a living so far? What was your plan and why did it go wrong? What are your plans now? What is your skillset?

dalke 11y ago

"A bit strange" means many things. Do you think it's a suspect plea for help or do you not understand how this can happen to someone? Let's assume it's a valid request for help. In which case there is only 2 days for tevlon to figure out what to do, and is currently feeling scared. This is not the right time to ask for an explanation of what lead to this point, because doing so doesn't help the immediate issue of food and housing. Nor is it useful to ask "What are your plans now?", given that tevlon wrote "I have no idea what to do". There are no plans. Nor does asking "What is your skillset?" help, because there's almost no answer which would resolve the immediate issue of food or housing. People get into this sort of situation for many reasons. It could be bad planning, or being kicked out of the family which had supported you, or a consequence of depression, or a drug or gambling addition, to name only a few. Even good planning can't avoid all problems, because unlikely events also happen; a roommate who was paying part of the rent who then left or died, or a fire which required spending all the cash reserves to recover. But someone who faces a crisis situation doesn't really have the focus or desire to educate others on the historical reasons which lead to the current crisis. If I hear someone cry out "Help, I've fallen down the side of the cliff!" my response isn't "Why didn't you bring a rope? Do you know how to make a ladder? What were your plans to keep from falling?"

tevlon 11y ago
Thanks for understanding. I had a (rich) girlfriend and she supported me, i am doing my master thesis and had no time for her, so she left for someone else and here i am :(
- narwally 11y ago
  Is there anyone in your masters program that you can ask for help until you get back on your feet. I've been in a similar situation in the past, and never asked my colleagues for help because I didn't feel we were close enough. After the fact I found out that many of them were appalled that I hadn't asked them for help, and would have gladly done it. This was in the southern U.S. though, and I'm not very familiar with German culture; The culture difference may or may not make this as feasible.