That is also an interesting point. It certainly comes up often when next-of-kin go through the private physical possessions of the deceased and discover secret

That is also an interesting point. It certainly comes up often when next-of-kin go through the private physical possessions of the deceased and discover secret love letters, diaries, etc. They probably wanted those to stay private. But for bank account records, most photos, etc., you probably don't want those to disappear in the event of your death. You want those to pass on. Given the choice between the two defaults, it makes a lot of sense for Apple to make "accessible to next of kin" the default, and "dies with you" the opt-in.