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The opposite end of this is why it annoys me when people complain about politicians being liars. Of course politicians lie: a strong commitment to truth is very
by afarrell 11y ago
The opposite end of this is why it annoys me when people complain about politicians being liars. Of course politicians lie: a strong commitment to truth is very much against social norms and causes people to be bored at best and angry or creeped-out at worst. Politicians by the nature of their jobs must conform very strongly to social norms and so have to lie more egregiously when forced to answer "simple questions" on complex topics by people (journalists) whose profession incentivized them to create drama.
- afarrell 11y agoThe right way (to the degree that I've figured things out. Please please pop in with suggestions on how to approach this in a more ethical way) to handle the conflict between wanting to tell the truth and wanting to conform to social norms is to think of it as a UX problem: try to predict what your listener's mental model will be as a result of hearing something. Given that mental models are always imperfect reflections of reality, try to determine if what you say would add or remove flaws in their mental model. If it clears up some flaws and adds others, make a guess at which ones are going to be impactful and which ones aren't. This has the failure mode that you tell someone what you think is an inconsequential lie, and it turns out to hurt them. Unfortunately, it turns out that it is usually better to err on the side of lying than on the side of being pedantic. Gauge people's receptiveness to truth-seeking as you get to know them. Actively seek out people whom you can trust to have the patience to listen to more true explanations. If you can do that, you can build for yourself the privilege of lying less severely.