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Actually, it seems to be an external blaming behavior in that at least one of the people involved said he didn't want to be tempted when his wife wasn’t there.

Actually, it seems to be an external blaming behavior in that at least one of the people involved said he didn't want to be tempted when his wife wasn’t there. That would imply that, by either touching or being near the woman, that she would become desirable to him by some behavior. It's that behavior that is being judged (and frequently pre-judged) by these people based on their beliefs, which is at the root of the problem.

philh 11y ago
Do you mean blaming someone else's behaviour? If so, I disagree. If there was porn on the back of the seat, I think the guy could reasonably say "I don't want to look at that, I don't want to be tempted". That's not blaming some behaviour by the porn, he's just saying "in this situation, I will react this way, and I don't want to". (I don't like the way they're acting, but I don't think "they're blaming other people" is what's wrong with it.)
- kordless 11y ago
  > in this situation, I will react this way, and I don't want to If the "situation" involves another person, then that person has a right to participate (or not) in whatever emotional response that is happening. If I'm attractive to you and you don't mind sitting next to me, I'm not required to show interest in you. If you continue with unwanted advances, you are liable for sexual harassment. Conversely, if I'm attractive to you and you do mind sitting next to me because I am attractive to you, I'm not required to help solve it because you are attracted to me yet are unable to manage your emotional responses. It still involves me, so I get a say in whether you can show that attraction in a specific way, including discriminating on me. So is anyone else, for that matter, given it's cognitive dissonance believing it's someone else's problem to deal with your inability to contain and manage your own "purity", which is really a fear of attraction to someone else.
vacri 11y ago
I've always found it amusing that strongly religiose people seem to think temptation is so easy. I think it speaks to the lack of effect of their religion that they have to go to these extreme lengths to "avoid temptation", rather than just being mature and dealing with temptation appropriately like most adults do. In short, if you have to go to these ridiculous lengths, then the religion isn't really giving you the internal strength to behave maturely. Time to look for a new moral code.

philh 11y ago

Do you mean blaming someone else's behaviour? If so, I disagree. If there was porn on the back of the seat, I think the guy could reasonably say "I don't want to look at that, I don't want to be tempted". That's not blaming some behaviour by the porn, he's just saying "in this situation, I will react this way, and I don't want to". (I don't like the way they're acting, but I don't think "they're blaming other people" is what's wrong with it.)

kordless 11y ago
> in this situation, I will react this way, and I don't want to If the "situation" involves another person, then that person has a right to participate (or not) in whatever emotional response that is happening. If I'm attractive to you and you don't mind sitting next to me, I'm not required to show interest in you. If you continue with unwanted advances, you are liable for sexual harassment. Conversely, if I'm attractive to you and you do mind sitting next to me because I am attractive to you, I'm not required to help solve it because you are attracted to me yet are unable to manage your emotional responses. It still involves me, so I get a say in whether you can show that attraction in a specific way, including discriminating on me. So is anyone else, for that matter, given it's cognitive dissonance believing it's someone else's problem to deal with your inability to contain and manage your own "purity", which is really a fear of attraction to someone else.

vacri 11y ago

I've always found it amusing that strongly religiose people seem to think temptation is so easy. I think it speaks to the lack of effect of their religion that they have to go to these extreme lengths to "avoid temptation", rather than just being mature and dealing with temptation appropriately like most adults do. In short, if you have to go to these ridiculous lengths, then the religion isn't really giving you the internal strength to behave maturely. Time to look for a new moral code.