This sounds like a panic attack. Relax, breathe slowly, and get medical attention. At the very least they can rule out some more dangerous conditions. They can

This sounds like a panic attack. Relax, breathe slowly, and get medical attention. At the very least they can rule out some more dangerous conditions. They can probably also give you a long term prescription for a generic (but still good) long-term anxiolytic agent and a short course of benzodiazepines to knock out the acute anxiety. Finally, some personal advice. You will get through this. You're 30. You could get a whole entirely different degree and career before even age 35. Your options are wide open. Last part. I've been there. That feeling of impending doom, as if the universe is waiting to thwart my every move. The truth is that the universe doesn't seem to give a damn one way or another. Those feelings come from deep-seated anxiety. The source of that anxiety, for me, was too closely personally identifying with my start up. Your work does not define who you are. And who you are has intrinsic value beyond the ability to code. What helped me was to repeat this like a mantra, "I am not my company. I am not my company." We all need some help from time to time. Thank you for reaching out to us, and I would encourage you to do the same toward others. As for your first startup, that isn't failure. It's the best damn business education money can buy.