I suggest to stop worrying about the past, you can do nothing about it, just accept the fact. Then you can focus on your brighter future. I'm pretty sure there

I suggest to stop worrying about the past, you can do nothing about it, just accept the fact. Then you can focus on your brighter future. I'm pretty sure there are a lot of things you learned from this journey, concentrate on those. Also, this might make no sense right now, but you became much stronger by trying for so long and from your story you seem like not a quitter at all, but a hard worker. My example: I started learning programming at 30, and never been happier since then. You can have a bright and happy future, even if you think your past sucked.