Anciently, there was the UNIX. But the UNIX was held close by those who had received it, and the world trembled in darkness, because there was no UNIX to light

Anciently, there was the UNIX. But the UNIX was held close by those who had received it, and the world trembled in darkness, because there was no UNIX to light the way. But then came Linus Torvalds, attempting to discover which of the systems was true, and, as he reviewed the ancient operating systems, discovered wisdom enough to seek the UNIX. And BEHOLD, as Linus went forth to meditate on which operating system was best, he was visited by the UNIX in a pillar of Code. The UNIX told him that all operating systems had departed from the best way, and informed Linus where he must go to seek a restoration of the true ways of UNIX. And Linus was led to the side of the hill Codemorah, wherein he discovered golden algorithms and clear glass compilers. And will the clear glass compilers, he translated the golden algorithms into this: the Linux operating system. It is evidence of his prophesional calling, and any who use it can attest the Linus was truly shown the best way, through the Spirit and Power of UNIX. (I will show myself out now :) )