4 ms·

Screw-in coffin patent issued

25 points by there 17y ago

apower 17y ago
This actually is a novel idea. And it saves space. Pack more deads per square meter.
- philk 17y ago
  I imagine making every single coffin into a drill capable of boring a hole into the earth is a lot more expensive than buying a couple of sets of digging equipment per cemetery.
  - sorbus 17y ago
    On the other hand, if you're going to bring in machinery, you need to make sure that there's enough space to stop them from crushing the other coffins - which might negate any space-savings from burying people vertically. Whereas with this, a few people put it in, which needs very little space. Besides, don't the families of deceased generally pay for their coffins?
    - philk 17y ago
      I think finding people who can manhandle an abnormally large, heavy, drill shaped coffin into place will be harder and more expensive than using machinery - there's a reason why we don't dig graves by hand any more. Families do pay for the coffins, but they also pay for burial costs as well (so they'd also be paying for space and a portion of the machinery).
- daniel-cussen 17y ago
  This might be worth it in some very old cemeteries in Europe, given considerations mentioned in other comments about the coffin being 10 feet tall.
- TimothyFitz 17y ago
  Of course cremation saves more space and is certainly cheaper.
  - electromagnetic 17y ago
    My personal funeral arrangement is going to be on the lines of "throw my corpse on a pile of logs and light her up", if my survivors want something fancy, that's their deal I'm already dead, just get it over and done with and carry on with life. I'm either getting an autopsy or donating when I die, either way I'm going to be stuffed with sawdust. I'm not going to make good worm food, so you might as well torch me.
    - Confusion 17y ago
      Completely besides the point, but: sawdust is perfectly useful as fertilizer, so it's actually not that bad as worm food.
Semiapies 17y ago
Yow. Would be less expensive to have a drill to make the hole with, then lower the coffin in, then to build the drill into the coffin. Or to cremate.
jvdh 17y ago
I believe most countries have a minimum depth that bodies have to be buried at. That is going to be hard to achieve with these kind of coffins.
- bmelton 17y ago
  I don't know why there couldn't be 'filler' space at the top put there just to achieve the depth requirements.
  - philk 17y ago
    Well, assuming the minimum depth is even as low as three feet, the deceased is up to six feet tall and there's maybe a foot of additional space (thickness of coffin, the pointy drill bit, satin pillows, etc.) you're now looking at a ten foot long coffin. This seems to be a bit unwieldy at best, particularly when you've got to stand it up to bore into the ground.
    - electromagnetic 17y ago
      You can have a funeral in winter before the frost line raises, however it'll destroy this. Frost doesn't stop a backhoe, I'd bet a lot of money it would stop this because the torque required to break and shift frozen soil is immense, especially considering it has to displace its entire volume around the coffin.
    - bmelton 17y ago
      Well, to be fair, the entire idea is really quite stupid (in my opinion.) It's novel, to be sure, but realistically, at least in most of the US, it would just be easier to use a boring drill to make the hole, and then lower a regular (or even torpedo-shaped) coffin into it.
- Daniel_Newby 17y ago
  It's just a mausoleum with a really deep foundation.
DrJokepu 17y ago
This will give a whole new meaning to "turning in one's grave".
philk 17y ago
This is hilarious, but probably not viable: a) Coffins are sold to grieving families on the basis of "the one last thing you can do for [deceased]". Hence sales are made based on how luxurious, etc. the coffin is, not how efficiently it bores into the ground. b) Who is going to want to file past a gigantic drill bit in a church? c) If you look at the silhouette in fig 6, the coffin is roughly 40% longer than the deceased. Hence to bury a 6 foot tall individual, the coffin will need to be ~ 8.5 feet long, too tall to be screwed in by hand. d) Part of the point of burials is the ceremony of lowering the coffin into the grave. This won't be viable with the screw coffin - "alright folks, it's time to bury Dad. Now these two hefty blokes are going to take a quarter of an hour to screw him into the ground. You all stand there and listen to him bump around inside the coffin".
bombs 17y ago
I can't find anything online, but I can recall reading that Christian heathens were buried vertically, because this meant that they could not enter heaven. Is there anything like this in other religions (especially other monotheistic ones)? There'll be plenty of non-religious folks who could opt for this or another form of vertical burial, but I wonder how many people or their families would simply opt for the traditional, religious burial.
ojbyrne 17y ago
At the risk of being downvoted, the phrase "What's up, doc?" was the first thing that came to mind. The opportunity for ridicule has probably killed many an invention (i.e. Nokia and "side-talking").
boredguy8 17y ago
Pallbearer? No, thank you. (Though really I think the casket is INSIDE the screw. If it's not, that will by my new invention: "Easy corpse retrieval system" is how I'll bill it, and mostly to those singularity folks. "Be the first one out once we figure out how to cure stuff. No messing digging or accidentally crushing the casket!)

25 points by there 17y ago

apower 17y ago

This actually is a novel idea. And it saves space. Pack more deads per square meter.

philk 17y ago
I imagine making every single coffin into a drill capable of boring a hole into the earth is a lot more expensive than buying a couple of sets of digging equipment per cemetery.
- sorbus 17y ago
  On the other hand, if you're going to bring in machinery, you need to make sure that there's enough space to stop them from crushing the other coffins - which might negate any space-savings from burying people vertically. Whereas with this, a few people put it in, which needs very little space. Besides, don't the families of deceased generally pay for their coffins?
  - philk 17y ago
    I think finding people who can manhandle an abnormally large, heavy, drill shaped coffin into place will be harder and more expensive than using machinery - there's a reason why we don't dig graves by hand any more. Families do pay for the coffins, but they also pay for burial costs as well (so they'd also be paying for space and a portion of the machinery).
daniel-cussen 17y ago
This might be worth it in some very old cemeteries in Europe, given considerations mentioned in other comments about the coffin being 10 feet tall.
TimothyFitz 17y ago
Of course cremation saves more space and is certainly cheaper.
- electromagnetic 17y ago
  My personal funeral arrangement is going to be on the lines of "throw my corpse on a pile of logs and light her up", if my survivors want something fancy, that's their deal I'm already dead, just get it over and done with and carry on with life. I'm either getting an autopsy or donating when I die, either way I'm going to be stuffed with sawdust. I'm not going to make good worm food, so you might as well torch me.
  - Confusion 17y ago
    Completely besides the point, but: sawdust is perfectly useful as fertilizer, so it's actually not that bad as worm food.

Semiapies 17y ago

Yow. Would be less expensive to have a drill to make the hole with, then lower the coffin in, then to build the drill into the coffin. Or to cremate.

jvdh 17y ago

I believe most countries have a minimum depth that bodies have to be buried at. That is going to be hard to achieve with these kind of coffins.

bmelton 17y ago
I don't know why there couldn't be 'filler' space at the top put there just to achieve the depth requirements.
- philk 17y ago
  Well, assuming the minimum depth is even as low as three feet, the deceased is up to six feet tall and there's maybe a foot of additional space (thickness of coffin, the pointy drill bit, satin pillows, etc.) you're now looking at a ten foot long coffin. This seems to be a bit unwieldy at best, particularly when you've got to stand it up to bore into the ground.
  - electromagnetic 17y ago
    You can have a funeral in winter before the frost line raises, however it'll destroy this. Frost doesn't stop a backhoe, I'd bet a lot of money it would stop this because the torque required to break and shift frozen soil is immense, especially considering it has to displace its entire volume around the coffin.
  - bmelton 17y ago
    Well, to be fair, the entire idea is really quite stupid (in my opinion.) It's novel, to be sure, but realistically, at least in most of the US, it would just be easier to use a boring drill to make the hole, and then lower a regular (or even torpedo-shaped) coffin into it.
Daniel_Newby 17y ago
It's just a mausoleum with a really deep foundation.

DrJokepu 17y ago

This will give a whole new meaning to "turning in one's grave".

philk 17y ago

This is hilarious, but probably not viable: a) Coffins are sold to grieving families on the basis of "the one last thing you can do for [deceased]". Hence sales are made based on how luxurious, etc. the coffin is, not how efficiently it bores into the ground. b) Who is going to want to file past a gigantic drill bit in a church? c) If you look at the silhouette in fig 6, the coffin is roughly 40% longer than the deceased. Hence to bury a 6 foot tall individual, the coffin will need to be ~ 8.5 feet long, too tall to be screwed in by hand. d) Part of the point of burials is the ceremony of lowering the coffin into the grave. This won't be viable with the screw coffin - "alright folks, it's time to bury Dad. Now these two hefty blokes are going to take a quarter of an hour to screw him into the ground. You all stand there and listen to him bump around inside the coffin".

bombs 17y ago

I can't find anything online, but I can recall reading that Christian heathens were buried vertically, because this meant that they could not enter heaven. Is there anything like this in other religions (especially other monotheistic ones)? There'll be plenty of non-religious folks who could opt for this or another form of vertical burial, but I wonder how many people or their families would simply opt for the traditional, religious burial.

ojbyrne 17y ago

At the risk of being downvoted, the phrase "What's up, doc?" was the first thing that came to mind. The opportunity for ridicule has probably killed many an invention (i.e. Nokia and "side-talking").

boredguy8 17y ago

Pallbearer? No, thank you. (Though really I think the casket is INSIDE the screw. If it's not, that will by my new invention: "Easy corpse retrieval system" is how I'll bill it, and mostly to those singularity folks. "Be the first one out once we figure out how to cure stuff. No messing digging or accidentally crushing the casket!)