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This is largely untrue. It is prevented by having "ingroup" friends. I had a circle of 5-8 fellow "weirdos" who I had a grand time playing with. Collectively w

This is largely untrue. It is prevented by having "ingroup" friends. I had a circle of 5-8 fellow "weirdos" who I had a grand time playing with. Collectively we were the target of bullying. Our academic excellence (and thus copious free time) was the direct cause of being targeted. When you pound out the 50 problem worksheet in 20 minutes, and have the remaining 30 min to draw, imagine stories, and live in a shared fantasy world with that small group it's REALLY easy to be targeted.

alexashka 11y ago
I hear you. Where I grew up (Russia), those who excelled were put into classes where you were challenged. To give a simple example: when I came to Canada, I was in grade 7. I didn't learn a single new math concept until grade 9, where we spent the entire semester learning 'slope' which I got the hang of within a week. That's the Canadian school program being 3 years behind in 5 years. A disaster, and I'm not that smart. Furthermore, I was sent to math competitions twice a year where I couldn't solve a single problem - those who could solve those problems, were sent to special schools where the brightest were again, challenged. That's a systemic solution Russia had that I'm in favor of. In terms of making it work within the system you grew up in - it sounds like you found a group of friends. You make it sound like the reason you were targeted is because you had free time. If you had been part of the soccer team for instance, would that have also been the case? When smart kids complain about getting bullied solely for being so smart, I have to wonder. I am the smartest of the dummies or the dumbest of the smartest but I was also quite alright at sports, so I had that going for me. I'd say the problem with smart kids who do find a group to be a part of and still feel like they were in a tough spot - your parents should've put you into a sports team or some form of athletics and that would've likely alleviated a lot of the problems.
- ticviking 11y ago
  So I think you're onto something with moving kids to where they will be challenged in school. Systemically it keeps everyone engaged in the task of learning and I wish we would adopt it in the states. I don't think that would stop bullying, only reduce particular kinds of it. Bullying serves the purpose of enforcing social norms. Putting people in a situation where ability is less of a way to break norms will reduce the bullying, but it won't eliminate it. Quick clarification I'm not claiming I was bullied for being smart. I was bullied for being weird. Being challenged, or joining sports would have reduced that weirdness, and spare individual children some pain, but doesn't really change the problem of students electing to enforce social norms by humiliation and violence. RE: Sports teams. We couldn't afford any of the organized sports available in my area(all of them had a few hundred dollars of gear and annual fees to participate in). By the time I was in middle school and had "free" access to sports I was so behind in developing the basic play skills that it simply marked me out as a newb
  - alexashka 11y ago
    Yeah, I feel your pain. There is no way anyone can eliminate bullying completely as you yourself mention - nor do I think it to be a worthwhile pursuit. Some amount of friction is good. Being weird is definitely going to be a problem - I have a buddy who to this day (almost 30) has trouble relating to people and he ranks it as the number one challenge in his life. His parents could afford to put him in sports but didn't think it was a good idea... You mention how you guys couldn't afford to put you in a sports club. To that I'd say two things: one is that sports should absolutely be free the same way school is free and two - it's a bummer that your parents had kids and couldn't afford these things. To bring it full circle - it boils down to the parents so often, doesn't it? If your parents could afford to have you participate in extra-curricular activities that you excel in, so much of this childhood angst would be alleviated. It breaks my heart to hear the shit my friends have gone through and how incompetent so many parents are. The only silver lining is that hopefully - you'll recognize how to make sure your own kids don't have the same difficulties and as a result - the world's a better place :)

alexashka 11y ago

I hear you. Where I grew up (Russia), those who excelled were put into classes where you were challenged. To give a simple example: when I came to Canada, I was in grade 7. I didn't learn a single new math concept until grade 9, where we spent the entire semester learning 'slope' which I got the hang of within a week. That's the Canadian school program being 3 years behind in 5 years. A disaster, and I'm not that smart. Furthermore, I was sent to math competitions twice a year where I couldn't solve a single problem - those who could solve those problems, were sent to special schools where the brightest were again, challenged. That's a systemic solution Russia had that I'm in favor of. In terms of making it work within the system you grew up in - it sounds like you found a group of friends. You make it sound like the reason you were targeted is because you had free time. If you had been part of the soccer team for instance, would that have also been the case? When smart kids complain about getting bullied solely for being so smart, I have to wonder. I am the smartest of the dummies or the dumbest of the smartest but I was also quite alright at sports, so I had that going for me. I'd say the problem with smart kids who do find a group to be a part of and still feel like they were in a tough spot - your parents should've put you into a sports team or some form of athletics and that would've likely alleviated a lot of the problems.

ticviking 11y ago
So I think you're onto something with moving kids to where they will be challenged in school. Systemically it keeps everyone engaged in the task of learning and I wish we would adopt it in the states. I don't think that would stop bullying, only reduce particular kinds of it. Bullying serves the purpose of enforcing social norms. Putting people in a situation where ability is less of a way to break norms will reduce the bullying, but it won't eliminate it. Quick clarification I'm not claiming I was bullied for being smart. I was bullied for being weird. Being challenged, or joining sports would have reduced that weirdness, and spare individual children some pain, but doesn't really change the problem of students electing to enforce social norms by humiliation and violence. RE: Sports teams. We couldn't afford any of the organized sports available in my area(all of them had a few hundred dollars of gear and annual fees to participate in). By the time I was in middle school and had "free" access to sports I was so behind in developing the basic play skills that it simply marked me out as a newb
- alexashka 11y ago
  Yeah, I feel your pain. There is no way anyone can eliminate bullying completely as you yourself mention - nor do I think it to be a worthwhile pursuit. Some amount of friction is good. Being weird is definitely going to be a problem - I have a buddy who to this day (almost 30) has trouble relating to people and he ranks it as the number one challenge in his life. His parents could afford to put him in sports but didn't think it was a good idea... You mention how you guys couldn't afford to put you in a sports club. To that I'd say two things: one is that sports should absolutely be free the same way school is free and two - it's a bummer that your parents had kids and couldn't afford these things. To bring it full circle - it boils down to the parents so often, doesn't it? If your parents could afford to have you participate in extra-curricular activities that you excel in, so much of this childhood angst would be alleviated. It breaks my heart to hear the shit my friends have gone through and how incompetent so many parents are. The only silver lining is that hopefully - you'll recognize how to make sure your own kids don't have the same difficulties and as a result - the world's a better place :)