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This is a bit odd. The tone of the post is "isn't this funny" when really it should be "look at the crap that female support staff have to put up with".
by ascorbic 11y ago
This is a bit odd. The tone of the post is "isn't this funny" when really it should be "look at the crap that female support staff have to put up with".
- ethanbond 11y agoProbably trying to find a balance between badtalking their customers and sensibly bringing up an important topic. Thus why half the comments are saying they were speaking harshly about their customers, half are saying it's not serious enough in tone. It seems obvious, based on the last sentence, that they think this is something that must be addressed.
- kelukelugames 11y agoPeople are sensitive. They snap at the smallest hint that their behavior is wrong. Even if the behavior is only mildly inappropriate.
- dmm 11y agoThe problem is that society equates being sexist with being evil or bad, the actions of sexist people as being inherently evil, and the words and opinions of sexist people as dismissable out-of-hand. So when you point out a sexist action the target of your comment interprets that comment as you saying, "You are evil. Your actions are evil and anything you say is not true." The truth is that even well meaning people who want to treat others well and are willing to learn still do insensitive or discriminatory things but the language people use to point this out is very toxic and often assumes malice.
- kelukelugames 11y agoI also know people who assume malice. They are usually young or have PTSD from dealing with extreme prejudice. The latter is understandable. And the former will stop seeing the world in terms of black and white. But I think the opposite is true. The recipient of the criticism should be less sensitive. Women know the male ego is fragile. That's why most of the time they don't say anything.
- ethanbond 11y agoI don't think that's true at all. In fact, one of the primary complaints I see all the time is that "the patriarchy" implies all men are responsible for whatever the patriarchy is accused of. This isn't actually the case, that abstraction is to avoid what you're alleging: accusing an individual who is not malicious but rather a "victim of the patriarchy." However, even if your actions are the result of larger forces (patriarchy or otherwise), and not malice, you still need to be held personally responsible at some level. I just don't think we've found what that level is, yet.
- vertex-four 11y agoOr else, more generally... people are usually rather terrible at separating out "your behaviour is wrong and needs to be fixed" from "you as a whole are a terrible human being". People often define their identity by their actions, and to claim that those actions might be problematic is to attack their identity. Even where blame is explicitly not placed on anyone, people tend to go on the defensive as soon as you point out that their actions have unintended or un-thought-of consequences.
- kelukelugames 11y agoI need to say it this way. It's digestible.
- PhasmaFelis 11y ago> People are sensitive. They snap at the smallest hint that their behavior is wrong. Even if the behavior is only mildly inappropriate. As demonstrated by the fact that someone downvoted this basic tenet of human nature, because they think it might be criticizing them personally. What's interesting to me is that people who say things like "Quit being so sensitive" are often the people who get really angry if their own sensibilities are offended.
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- fweespeech 11y agoYeah, I have to agree with you despite the people talking about balance. Hitting on people at work or while they are in the performance of their work duties is not okay.
- lloyd-christmas 11y ago20% of married couples disagree. There seems to be a running belief that being creepy and hitting on someone are one and the same. "Come grab coffee in buenos ares ;)" != "cmon pleaaaaaaaaaaase". Say those in a bar, a dating site, at the water cooler, in an elevator, in a subway... they mean different things regardless of the location.
- the_af 11y agoI met my wife at a past work and... I still disagree with you. Look, my future wife and I shared an office but were on different teams and projects. We befriended each other. Neither of us embarrassed the other at work by making unwelcome passes that aren't easy to back away from in a work-related situation. We never really shared work responsibilities, but if we had, neither of us would have replied to a request for work-related help with an invitation to discuss the color of each other's eyes. Neither of us was in a position of power over the other. Our relationship developed outside of the office, in a context where it was obvious our interactions were not work related, and where if anyone wanted to back away from that, it wouldn't have impacted our jobs at all. "Hitting on someone", in the context of writing unsolicited flirtatious messages on a support channel, prompted only by the fact the profile picture of support staff looks like a girl is unambiguously creepy. Was there any indication the girl wanted to be invited to coffee in a different country just because she, uh, looked like a female human?
- burkaman 11y ago"However, this article is meant to be more than a funny background. We were surprised by the amount of flirting that takes place in support channels – and even more by the changes that we’ve seen in the conversation climate once we had finally completed the test and defined all our processes. After replacing Carolin’s image with my name and my photo, people showed more politeness and trusted my advices on a higher level. We just hope that these results are not symptomatic for the IT industry and the support area and that they only appeared in our case."
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- oneloop 11y agoSo? No sense of humor?
- ascorbic 11y agoLol harassment!
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- ljk 11y agoWould you think the same if the genders were reversed?